Me too.
I’ve been saying it for 7 years now.
7 long years I’ve been shouting “me too” and waiting to be heard.
I’ve said #metoo and I’ve said #yesallwomen and probably more things that I don’t remember. And you know what I’ve heard in reply?
“okay, but you didn’t have it as bad as some people”
“at least you didn’t die”
“you need to settle down”
“stop talking about it or people will think you’re weird”
“no one is going to take you seriously if you talk about it so much”
“but have you forgiven him though?”
“he feels really bad, you should call him”
“I need more details before I can really believe you”
“I thought he might be abusing you but….*shrug*”
“*silence*”
“he seemed so nice when I met him”
“I will raise my daughters to be tougher than you”
“I would never let some one treat me like that”
“If that happened to me I would have ____”
“talking about that is too political, shhhhh”
Me. Freaking. Too.
I’m tired of saying it. I’m tired of watching rapists go free. I’m tired of victims being blamed. I’m Just. So. Tired.
Today my feed has been filled with women saying “me too”. I’m devastated that it’s so many, but also completely unsurprised. Because every time I talk about this, for every public attack I receive, I also get at least two private messages from women afraid to publicly say “me too” or even hit “like” on my post or article.
ME TOO.
I’ll keep saying it. You’ll keep saying it.
But we need to take this conversation offline too.
Today, if you said “me too” for the first time, I’m proud of you.
Today, if you’ve said “me too” for the thousandth time, I stand with you.
Today, if you’re too afraid to type those two words, I support you. And I’ll keep saying it for you.
For those who have said it, for those who are surprised by so many people around you saying it… take this conversation offline tonight.
Women, go talk to the men in your lives. Let them know what it feels like. Let them know what you need, and how they can support you. Many husbands, fathers, brothers and friends are silent right now because they are shocked, and they have no idea what to do about this.
So let’s tell them.
Men, if you are shocked by this, if you are uncomfortable, if you are unsure what you could ever do or say to help, just reach out and ask. Send a text, make a call, walk in the other room and ask. Speak out and show support to those around you today.
Open up the conversation in person and not just on social media.
This conversation is hard, and it’s ugly, and it’s painful, but it needs to happen.
Use these moments to change the conversation at home.
Use these moments to have conversations with your kids. Here are a few age-appropriate books to get you started, even with toddlers.
Talk about how to empower kids.
Talk about how the people in your life can take a stand, together.
The world is listening right now.
Online, we say “me too”
But in our homes, and with those around us, let’s take the conversation a step further.
As I was writing this post, my son was watching Power Rangers in the background, and their conversation could not have been more fitting. (Don’t laugh…)
If you can’t watch it right now, it goes:
Brody: “thanks for your help, but redbot and I need to get going”
Sara: WHAT?
Preston: What are you going to do the next time you meet one of those monsters?
Sara: No, there’s no way you’re beating them on your own.
Brody: Yeah, but I have to try.
Sara: No. We have to try. You can’t do this alone.
Preston: I’m with her. We’re power rangers now, right? It seems like maybe the world is depending on us. So let’s beat these creeps. Together.
Sara: Together.
Brody: Together.
Redbot: Together.
Let’s beat these creeps together, friends.
If you are looking for more resources to help you with how to approach this topic with your kids, click the image below to see our favorite 5 books to help teach children about body safety.
End it before it starts movement
Breaking the chain of abuse – 2 ways to empower our kids
Kirsten Oliphant says
<3 I feel like the what to do next is also SAY SOMETHING. Especially if you are a man and see this going on or a boy and see this going on, SAY FREAKING SOMETHING. Not because you have a mom or a sister or daughter. Because we are all human.