Marriage changes a lot through the years. Thus far, the biggest change for us has come with the birth of our children.
Babies change everything. Your relationship with your friends, your spouse, and even your loving relationship with sleep is put to the test when a precious little one enters your life.
Your needs and the needs of every one else in your life are suddenly secondary to the needs of the tiny human who can do nothing to care for himself.
There was a day when husband and why would have a disagreement and then have a few hours or days even to sit down and talk through it. To take a rest, and come at the problem with new eyes after a good night’s rest.
Then suddenly no one is sleeping, no one has time for a conversation that is not being had in 10 minutes increments and sometimes over the head of a screaming infant.
Life has to be figured out once again because it’s being ruled by the whims of a tiny dictator who doesn’t even know his own name.
Without any one realizing it or doing it on purpose, marriage gets different.
There is a season where gone are the days of roses and late night talks about life. The thought of a casual walk through town takes so much preparation and effort that it’s simply not realistic anymore.
Romance starts looking a lot less like flowers and a lot more like a kiss on the cheek through the smell of day-old spit up on your shirt.
It sounds less like the romantic songs you used to dance to and more like the soft whisper of “I’ll get the baby” in the middle of the night as she cries for no reason at 3am.
Somewhere along the lines you realize there’s nothing sexier than walking into the living room and seeing your husband sitting on the floor while the kids take turns trying to knock him over, giggling and shrieking as they go.
It’s the way you secretly find time to give each other breaks from the kids and knowing that there’s no gift more romantic than that of a quiet afternoon to yourself curled up in a chair with a good book.
Moments of flirting are stolen between wrestling toddlers into their pajamas and calming the fears of preschoolers as they decide they are suddenly terrified of their ceiling fans.
Everything changes when you add a baby to the mix. But that’s not a bad thing.
This is what marriage looks like after kids. The kids grow and change and the marriage does too. Nothing stays the same because it can’t. You are constantly growing, constantly adapting and while constantly realizing there’s no one you’d rather being growing and changing and adapting with.
It gets harder and it gets easier. The only things you can count on are chaos and each other and somehow that’s okay because it’s a perfect kind of beautiful chaos as you see each other more clearly and know you’re right where you wanna be, lack of sleep, spit up, noise and all.
Want more encouraging marriage stories or advice? Check out our favorite marriage books below: