We all need to be told that we are not alone. It’s always so uplifting to hear stories and experiences from those that have walked in our shoes. Today’s guest post in the Confessions of an Imperfect Mother series is from a sweet gal named AJ (find her on facebook), writing to herself 8 years ago. I hope it encourages your heart, just like it did mine!
You are not alone. Even as you sit in the living room with your two-year old son and 5 month old daughter, you are not alone. You struggle as you breast feed the baby while your 2 year old tugs on your arm and asks you to play and you feel guilty.
You feel guilty because you don’t want to. It’s not just that you are busy, literally giving your life to the hungry baby sucking nutrients out of you, you actually don’t want to. You love your babies, you delight in their little giggles and small voices and perfect faces, but you are tired and you just want to sit for a few minutes before you HAVE to take care of their needs.
It’s okay that you don’t enjoy your job every minute of every day. It’s okay if some days you are tired and weary and worn out and you just want to hide in the closet. Because you know that you love them with every fiber of your being. You know that you look at them and your heart swells within you with pride and love and some other unnamed emotion that sometimes threatens to overwhelm you until you squish their little cheeks and squeeze them until they ask you to let go.
Don’t worry about if you are trying too hard or not hard enough, just allow your love to guide you. If you are motivated by love for your babies, it doesn’t matter if no one else is parenting in the same way as you. If it seems right to you, ignore the other mommies who criticize (in a joking way) and say you are being too “uptight” or “too much of a new mom”. You won’t stop being that way, even when they are older.
You will still care about germs and will still make them wash their hands, you will still feel that it is your #1 job to keep them safe (even when he is 10 and is a crossing guard and wants to walk to school by himself – you will let him but will question the decision every day).
About them.
They are telling the truth. It goes really fast. What they don’t remember, or are choosing to forget, is that you are in the doldrums of motherhood. This is the time that seems to go on forever. Every day is the same exhausting schedule and you can’t remember when you last took more than a 5-10 minute shower and you haven’t slept for more than 6 hours in a stretch.
It does go really fast… it just starts really slow.
I won’t tell you to enjoy every minute. Just hold on. The hard parts are over quickly. Enjoy what you can and endure the rest. Enjoy those quiet moments when you are cuddling your baby or your toddler is telling you in his tiny little voice about his next great idea.
Louise says
Amazing post!! Very heartfelt and honest!
AJ Collins says
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!
Louise says
It’s about time more people stood up and said “ya know it sucks sometimes! And it’s ok to feel like that!” Not loving every second of motherhood isn’t not loving motherhood!! There’s a chapter in every book that your gonna dislike… But you can still love the story…. Same goes for life!
AJ Collins says
Exactly! Great thought!!
Hannah @Supermommy!...Or Not says
LOVE! I get so sick of people telling me to enjoy every moment. Nope. Somedays are just about survival. And yes, I know I will miss this time, but I’m pretty sure I would miss it even if I did manage to enjoy every single moment.
AJ Collins says
Absolutely Hannah! I miss those sweet moments, but rarely look back and miss the laying on the floor tantrums… Glad you found some encouragement!!
Angela K says
I just shared on Facebook; I have one or two friends who already posted that they are having rough days. Mine’s good so far, but then it’s only 9am. :). Hope you have blessed day!
AJ Collins says
Thank you for sharing!! I also have a number of friends who are in the “mama trenches” and I’m glad to be an encouragement!! :) Thanks for the sweet comment!
AJ Collins says
Thank you Paula for letting me share your space today! It is such a blessing to be an encouragement to other moms! Thank you for your sweet words and for sharing the love!! :)
Dana says
This is a sweet post all new moms should read. Thanks for sharing!
Sarah says
Beyond LOVE this post. I needed it this morning. To be reminded as a new momma, well new momma of 6.
I would be delighted to have you share this with our group of moms. Stop by to be encouraged as we have a guest post splashing us all in God’s goodness. And as always, I would be crazy honored to have you link up.
Just moms. Sharing our notes. Creating a melody.
http://justsarahdawn.blogspot.com/2013/09/thank-goodness.html
Katheryn F says
Thank you for the honesty in this post. Being a homeschool mom to 6, I can completely relate to the struggles of parenting. It isn’t always pretty, but I know that in the end it will be as God will have it. My heart if full most days and I am thankful. God bless.
http://www.thehealthyandfithomeschoolmom.com
Jenni Mullinix says
Beautiful… Thanks so much for sharing this with Thrive @ Home!
Lisa says
It’s so refreshing to remember that we don’t have to be Superwoman, & it really is ok to be tired and just want to crawl into a hole. Yes, it does go really fast, but you are so right – it starts out very slow!
And when your kids are older, as mine are, you really will miss those cuddly times. But to tell you that now, when you’re drowning in dirty diapers, is difficult to understand.
Great wisdom here – enjoy what you can and endure what you can’t enjoy! Thanks for the great post!