When I was in counseling last year my counselor said something that I will probably never forget. I had just “unloaded” all these negative feelings. A HUGE amount of fears, and insecurities that had arisen during the week because of different things. (ex. “I feel unloved, I’m all alone, no one cares” etc. etc.)She smiled at me in an understanding way and then said “and what is the truth of that?” Then she had me think through everything I had said and tell her what the reality was. NOT what my feelings were, but what was truth. Emotions can be such tricky things. At the time I was recovering from PTSD and depression so my feelings and emotions were all over the place! In that moment she taught me a lot about separating feelings from truth.
Growing up, I was taught to ignore all negative emotions. Anything that wasn’t happy or “good” was thrown out. I know now that this is very unhealthy and not a realistic way to live. Eventually the feelings and emotions that I had tried to hide caught up with me, and it made for a rough few years having to deal with and process 1,000 emotions that had been covered up for years. When I learned that I was “allowed” to feel emotions I became an extremely emotional person. My emotions controlled me and it was not a fun place to be. If I felt unloved, it didn’t matter if my hubby was showering me with love, my emotions weren’t there and they were king!
Slowly, I have learned to handle my emotions in a healthier way. And that one conversation with my counselor helped a lot! I hadn’t thought about those words specifically until this week. I’m currently 40 weeks pregnant and very hormonal : / The littlest things are setting me off and making me want to cry. It’s not fun, but it is nice to be able to recognize that the emotions I’m feeling are not “truth”. Just because I feel alone doesn’t mean that I am. Just because I feel all these sad and crazy emotions and fears doesn’t mean that they are defining the truth of my life.
The truth is:
I have a wonderful hubby who is also my best friend.
The truth is he cares for me, and when he’s not home it’s because he’s working to take care of our family NOT that he doesn’t want to see me etc.
The truth is I have a wonderful healthy little boy who is the light of my life. The smile on his face and the constant giggles are testimony that I’m doing a good job raising him, and I don’t need to be so fearful about that.
The truth is God holds our futures in His hands and I don’t need to fret about the timing of baby girl coming or any of the other worries that have been getting me down. I can’t control any of it, and I can rest comfortably in the knowledge that God has it all under control.
The truth is that being hormonal does not mean I’m regressing back into the “dark days” of depression/PTSD. It may feel similar at times, but God has brought me out of that, and having an emotional day does not mean I’m going back there.
The truth is I may have lots of crazy emotions but I know how to deal with them now, and not be afraid of them, so they aren’t going to wreck my life ever again.
The truth is God is in control, and I can take peace in that even in the hardest of days.
When I’m feeling down or having a “pity party” it is so helpful for me to sit back and answer that one simple question “what is the truth?”. It helps keep my perspective right, it helps me to acknowledge what I’m feeling, without letting the emotions take over or control my life. It helps me to look to God in the midst of a hard day, because He defines truth.
How do you deal with hard days? or raging hormones? I’d love to hear your tips/experience too!!!
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