As you (probably) know, we are expecting a baby girl in July
Since our little man will still be quite young when she’s born (around 21 months) I have been doing as much as I can to help him understand the changes that are about to happen. I have done several different things to “prepare him” throughout my pregnancy, and it has been amazing to see his comprehension of what’s going on increase as we work hard to get him ready to be a big brother.
I am going to do my best to share all of the things we have been doing to prepare him. I would love to hear your ideas too, especially if you have experience in preparing little toddlers to meet their new siblings :) I will add links to the mini descriptions as I write full posts about each idea.
1. Baby doll – Yes, I bought my little boy a baby doll. We did this when I was around 4 months pregnant, and it helped him to learn words like “gentle” and “soft”. He doesn’t play with his baby a whole lot, but whenever he does he is really sweet with her, hugging her and patting her etc. We made a big deal teaching him that he can’t throw her or be rough with the doll. I thought this worked great, and was really helpful for his level of understanding at the time (around 15 mos. old).
2. Books – My son LOVES reading, so I thought books would be a great way to show him/teach him about what is going to be happening. We bought several different books and he has greatly enjoyed them all so far. I will be writing mini-reviews on the books we have gotten him so far, (some we liked, others we LOVED) but our favorite has been “hello baby” (amazon $7). After reading this book and seeing the pictures in it he finally understood that a baby was in my belly :) yay!!!
You can read a more detailed review of the “hello baby” book I wrote here.
You can read a more detailed review of the “hello baby” book I wrote here.
3. Sleepovers – Since little man will not be staying the night with me in the hospital we’re doing a couple practice sleepovers with him and his grandparents. His grandma will actually be staying at our house with him while I’m in the hospital, but we wanted to get him used to the idea of going to bed and waking up without mommy. So far, it’s been harder on me than it has on him ;)
4. Special box – I’m making a special box of new books/toys for him to get while I’m in the hospital. Just a few little things to make him feel special, and for his grandma to have to distract him if he’s having a particularly hard day.
5. Build a bear – this is one of the things going in his special box. We went and made a dog (his choice) and I was able to record my voice saying “I love you Elias” in the dog we chose ($8 extra to do that). He made the dog with me, but doesn’t realize we actually bought it, so it is hiding in my closet so his grandma can give it to him when I leave for the hospital. I think it will be nice for him to have a brand new stuffed animal to hug and love on while I’m gone, and it will also have my voice in it to reassure him that I love him even though it will be hard for him to understand why I’m not coming home with him right away. It’s also a pretty cool keepsake for him :)
These are the things we have done/are doing so far! :)
Would love to hear your experiences and thoughts!!!
futurehope says
Great post (i just went and read it) we bought the ‘big brother” version but it’s going in his “special box” for grandma to read with him while I”m in the hospital since that book talks about when the baby is home.
The “hello baby” book I mentioned is more about mama going to lots of dr. visits, and then mama going to the hospital while the little boy stays with his grandmother and gets to play. going to visit mama and new baby in the hospital etc. It has helped a lot talking through each page of that book…I’m able to ask my son questions like “where do you go when mama is at the dr?” and he responds with his great grandmother’s name… and “what will you do while mama is int he hospital” and he will respond with his grandma’s name. It’s pretty neat!!
I love how different books help them with different stages of what’s going on! I think the book you recommended will help a lot! (I loved the pages where the little boy is talking about eating etc. hilarious!!! but my little man loves eating so I think he will really be able to relate to the boy in the story)
the dollhouse sounds fun!!! <3 can't wait til my baby girl is old enough for one :)
Elisha Kemp says
We did a build a bear also and he gave it to his little brother when he was born. I also got a little present for big brother from the new little brother. A little box of tiny books from the movie cars . He loves to read and it was His first gift from the baby :)
futurehope says
awww that is SUCH a sweet idea!!! I might have to find little presents for them to “give” each other now too! Love it! :D thanks for sharing!!! :)
Denise says
Great advice.
futurehope says
Thanks! seems to be working so far :)
Kate @ Teaching What Is Good says
Wonderful transition tips!! All of ours were between 18-24 months apart so I COMPLETELY understand your need to get him ready. Sounds like it’s going great.
We also took our youngest out of the crib and actually put it away when they were around 15 months old. We put a crib mattress on the floor (so they wouldn’t roll off too far, also we were in married student housing in grad school and had no money and no room!) By the time I was due, we took out THE BABY BED and put it up. They never attached it as being their old bed and got excited that the baby would have their own bed.
I’m so excited for you and living vicariously through your pregnancy posts!!! ;-D
futurehope says
thanks Kate! :) I love reading your posts too!!! feel free to live vicariously through me hehehe
Little Man has his crib mattress on the floor now too! It wasn’t planned, but he could escape his crib so I didn’t want him in there anymore as a safety issue. The crib is still in his room (blocking his closet doors because he can open them and I don’t want him playing with that stuff) but I think he will be glad to let sister have the crib. He was never a big fan of it :P
Sherrey says
What great things you are doing to prepare your son for his little sister! I was eight when my younger brother was born — no one between us — and it was hard to accept that I was no longer the only one. The age difference was difficult, I know, but just think what some preparation would have accomplished! Sending blessings on you and your family as you await this precious gift.
futurehope says
awww I can imagine that would be really hard at that age! I’m sure he will have some issues adjusting, but I think all in all it will be good. He LOVES other kids and I think he will really enjoy having a sibling once he gets over the fact that he has to share attention now :/
thanks SO MUCH for the encouragement!!!
Mandi says
Great tips! Thanks for sharing! I look forward to hearing how it all progresses. We just have one son now, but I do think a lot about how we’ll prepare him for the transition when we grow our family again. These are such awesome ideas.
futurehope says
Thanks Mandi! It has been interesting trying to come up with different ways to help him transition. It has been fun though! He definitely responds to some things easier than others so when the time comes, my suggestion would be to just try a bunch of different things and something is bound to get thru to him and help :)
Shell says
We read some books, but that was about it. My oldest was just shy of 17 months when his younger brother was born and then my middle just 2 when the youngest was born. They seem to only get it after the baby is actually here!
futurehope says
I’m sure your right. He still gives me funny looks when I talk about sister sometimes. I think he’s confused because I keep telling him she’s coming but she never does! lol
Some days it seems he “gets it” more than others, but I’m sure meeting her and bringing her home will help him really understand. :)
Adrienne says
Love this advice! The doll especially. So smart!
futurehope says
Thanks! :)
It took me a few days to decide that it was “ok” to buy my son a doll, but then I decided I was being silly. Little boys should be allowed to play “daddy” and there’s nothing wrong with that! thankfully my hubby agreed :)
AudreyN says
We just had a baby 3 weeks ago, and my son is almost 2 1/2. It didn’t really click for him until we brought his brother home. We did buy a special gift from the baby to him, and he seemed to like that. And I don’t know if its because he is a boy, but he really isn’t that into the baby. He sort of helps when we change diapers, and sometimes he tells us if baby brother is crying but he’s not that into the baby.
futurehope says
awww yeah, I dont think my son will be that “into” baby at first either. honestly, they don’t really do much and toddlers are all about doing stuff. Just trying to get him used to the idea to make the transition easier and not such a shock.
congrats on your new baby!!! so exciting!!!
homekeepingtheadventure says
You listed some great ideas! My son was 16 months old when my daughter was born, so those first few months were a little rough. We didn’t do a lot of formal things to prepare our son. We have a pet cat, so he had learned what “gentle” was with the cat.
I think the thing we weren’t expecting was that he would get worried when his little sister would cry. We expected him to be clingy and wanting all the attention, but he didn’t really do that. He was very concerned about her, and anytime she cried, he would call for Mommy and Daddy to help. It was actually very sweet.
Congratulations on your new baby!
futurehope says
awww how sweet that he would get worried when she would cry! I think my Little Man might too, he gets concerned when his friends cry <3
glad the transition went well for y’all that’s encouraging!!!
Michelle says
These are great ideas. We did them with my kids when each of the boys were born. When my 1st son was born we bought a t-shirt for our daughter that said Big Sister and a shirt for him that said Little Brother. They wore those shirts during their first pictures together.
futurehope says
awww those shirts sound sweet. I bought one for my son that says “most amazing brother ever” or something… but I haven’t seen any big bro/lil sis ones that are cheap enough to buy ;)
futurehope says
where did you find the shirts?
Anonymous says
These sound like wonderful preparations. Your little boy is adorable! I want to share my experience with this. My girls are now 12 and 9 years old. I wish I could do this over again! Many ideas were given to me to help with jealousy after bringing home the new baby. Most of them centered on occupying the older child with some activity (special toys, etc) while I attended the baby. The problem the first child has with the new baby is this: where do I fit in? Does Mommy still love me? What is my place now? Trying to push an older child away and occupy him, even if it is in the same room, does not answer these questions or reassure him that he is still loved and important. I wish I had drawn my older daughter in toward me, encouraged her to sit right next to me and read or have a healthy drink while I nursed her sister. Statements like “Time to feed our baby! Come sit with me!” or “Time to change our baby, come and help me get a diaper and wipes!” would have reassured her and I think it might have cut down on some of the difficulty in adjusting to a new sibling. You know your little boy better than I or anyone else, so do what you know is right for your family. I just wanted to share my experience and hope you find helpful insight. Your blog is lovely; I will visit again!
futurehope says
wow! I’m so glad you shared that with me, I had never htought of it from that perspective, but I can see that I would naturally try to occupy him with something else! thanks so much for that input!!!
Will have to think of ways to involve him more when baby comes! :)
thanks so much!!!!
What Joy Is Mine says
Paula…what fabulous ways to make him as much a part of the change that will be happening. After all, he will have an important role in being the big brother. Thank you for sharing your ideas and for linking up at WJIM. I love having you link up.
futurehope says
Thanks so much! :)
and thanks for hosting the link up every week!
Rosilind Jukic says
What a great idea! This is such a hard time for young older siblings. My Robi had a difficult time adjusting – he hates change anyhow, and this was a big change. But boy are they buddies now. :) Than you for sharing these excellent ideas. You have put a lot of thought into this. I love it. Thank you for linking up at Mommy Teaches. Blessings from Croatia: A Little R & R: http://www.litterandr.org