Bedtime can be a huge challenge for many families. Instead of a peaceful time slowly preparing for sleep together, it can mean toddler tantrums, tears and more than a little bit of chaos.
When my kids were younger bedtime started out CRAZY – but then I figured out a few things that made everything a whole lot easier.
How to prevent toddler tantrums at bedtime
How to get your toddler to put on pajamas without a fight
This is usually when things start to go south right? The evening is going well, everyone is all happy and giggling and then some one says it “it’s PJ time”. The kids obviously know that after they put on their pajamas, it will quickly be time to go to sleep, so the bedtime tantrums can start long before you get the kiddos into the bedroom.
There is one very simple solution to this problem though… tell the kids after they put on their pajamas there will be more playtime. This eliminates virtually all dawdling and bedtime meltdowns during pajama time and while they brush their teeth. Instead, they’ll get through their bedtime prep routine as quickly as possible because they want to have more time to play!
Naturally, you’ll want to keep the after pajama playtime as calm as possible, but it’s the perfect chance to color together, read books or play with small toys as a family. Instead of bedtime fights, you’ll spend your evenings enjoying time with one another.
Be Flexible
Since the kids are ready for bed, you can have a flexible playtime. The key here is watching the clock. If they are behaving, let them stay up until bedtime or even a little after. If it is one of those rough nights where no one can making 5 minutes without fussing, enforce an earlier bedtime. Since most toddlers can’t tell time, they will never know if you put them to bed at 6:30 instead of 7. My go-to phrase is “fussing and whining tells mama that you are ready for bed“. Usually the kids are able to calm down and stay up a little longer for playtime, but when they’re not we know they are too tired to have fun anyway and bedtime is the best choice.
Count to 10
I’ve talked about how counting to 10 has greatly reduced the number of tantrums we deal with everyday, and bedtime is no exception. I always tell my son when it’s about to be bedtime and we count to 10 together while he finishes playing. This is a nice time frame that he can understand at his young age, and it’s a time limit that I can control, so that he is not able to dawdle. We count together at night, and then he goes to bed.
After doing these things, we’re able to keep the rest of the bedtime routine very low key. Take them to bed, talk for a couple minutes and then turn out the light and leave the room. Keeping the last part of the bedtime routine simple has been one of the BEST parenting decisions we’ve made so far. It makes our evenings a lot simpler, and when we have guests visiting, we don’t have to plan our entire evening around an hour long bedtime routine.
With these three tips, you are sure to put an end to toddler tantrums at bedtime before you know it!
Randomly Fascinated says
We have a bedtime routine. I take Little Man to brush his teeth (he loves brushing his teeth so it is not a struggle and and it is an easy transition for him) then we call for Daddy who plays/tickles/wrestles with him a little bit and changes his diaper, clothes and puts him in his sleep sack. Then they call for me and we pray for him and cuddle a little bit and then he goes into bed. If he wants to jump in the crib for a while or talk to himself or his bears he can, occasionally (pretty rarely) he will cry a little bit, but we don’t get him up or go in. He almost always goes down without a fuss, and he is starting to get to the point where sometimes he seems to know that he is tired and when I suggest we go brush his teeth he almost looks relieved and rushes into the bathroom.
Paula says
sounds like a great routine!
Lisa says
Our bedtime routine has changed quite a bit over the years. Praying, however, has always been a constant.
When the kids were young, their bedtime routine was simple and short, but now that they’re teens, they want to talk! I still try to keep it short, but I know that bedtime is a great time for young people to open up. So I guess you’d say we’re still learning!
Great post, Paula!
Paula says
that’s awesome. Little Man and my hubby spend some time talking some nights, it’s precious when they do. <3
Hannah @Supermommy!...Or Not says
Our bedtime routine is very similar, but ever since we had to move the 2 older kids (ages 5 and 3) into the same room, bedtime is a nightmare. My son takes after his dad and fights sleep tooth and nail so he also manages to keep his older sister awake for several hours with him. Just about every night, there are countless requests for…anything and everything (which I inevitably deny), multiple times of kids out of bed getting into the bathroom to make a mess or just coming out in the living room to talk (even though I always put them right back to bed), and they generally manage to trash their entire bedroom before they finally fall asleep. Oh, and as a bonus, they’re so loud that they wake up their baby sister who sleeps across the hall in my room! I’m not a pushover, I have strict rules and limits, and I don’t give in so I’m at a loss here. If you knew how to fix this problem, you would be my favorite person in the whole wide world forever, lol.
Paula says
awww I don’t know! I’m concerned the same thing may happen whenever our kids start sharing a room!
2Momma2 says
I love the idea of counting to 10. I’ve tried to give my little guy warnings in advance so he’s not blindsided by bedtime while playing, counting to ten with him would help.
Great tips!
Kristin
Erica says
Wow! Seriously? This is great. Our bed time routine takes three hours and at least two people. We play until 7:30 pm and then bribe him to the bathtub. He plays in the bathtub for 30minutes+. Then we put pjs on , brush teeth and go to his room to read. One of us reads for 30 minutes (at least) then the other one comes in and rocks and usually gets roped into one more story. We rock for anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour. On a good night he will lay down after a short rocking period and go to sleep. On a bad night I am up until almost midnight rocking a very tired almost three year year old. While I enjoy the rocking, I also would like to have some time to wind down at night. Thanks for sharing this!
Erica
We Three Crabs
Gillian says
Blimey Erica it all sounds very taxing! :( I highly recommend the book “the baby whisperer”. This book is my bible and i’ve never had any problems with my daughter bedtime routine amongst other things. I’ve also recommended it to friends and they swear by the book too – good luck.
cosmina says
i have problems with my son, he is 21 months. he just doesn’t want to sleep/no matter what,. i tried everything. often cryies a lot, and fall asleep after 11 pm. even i rock him on the chair.
Lisette says
My Lil man just turned one on new years day and we still haven’t gotten him to sleep in his own bed since he was 6 months old. he sleeps between mommy and daddy (i know it’s sometimes frowned upon but it worked well for us for a while), now we are just getting kicked and hit with fists and by husband is tired at work all day. We’ve tried many different things but he still doesn’t like his crib. Cries as soon as we put him in or if we sneak him in there asleep, he’ll cry as soon as he sneaks a peak at where he is.We don’t like the cry it out method, any ideas for 2 tired parents?
Larissa says
Our babe was the same and we happily (and safely) co slept too until he was at the stage you are talking about. We put a mattress on the floor next to our bed which I lay with him on and off as needed throughout the night. far less disturbing for my hubby but still a happy snuggly bub, no cot needed! He’s now onto his 3rd night in his big boy bed in his own room at 16 months! Good luck mumma
Sue says
Is his room big enough for a double bed? I know sevel parents who skipped the cot stage and put theirs straight into a double bed where, if they woke up then one parent could go in and leave the other parent to sleep
melissa says
I like these ideas! I think giving a sippy cup of milk is more nutritious than water and filling. My kiddos really look forward to that at bedtime.
Jessie says
Milk definitely has more nutrients and is more filling, but kids needs water to drink too. And it’s a bad habit taking milk or anything besides water to bed, because it can cause teeth problems at a young age…
Keri says
These are great tips but parents need to realize that every child is different and you the parent have to come up with different ways that are suitable for your child and adjust your bed time routine accordingly.
Alana says
These are GREAT tips! I wanted to read your counting to ten post, but the link was broken. Let me know when it is fixed and I will read and (likely) share that one too!!!
Nancy Shaw says
I have a problem with my son. I learned a lot of great vocab from this article.
Kathy says
Count to 10 really works for a toddler? I tried for count to 20, 30…but no result :(
cathy says
Your tips are great and I have tried them all. Another one that I felt was that toddlers do not like to stop doing something that they are enjoying at the moment. For this, never make them feel bedtime as boring, instead introduce an action song and them a small silly play in their room. They will be most happy to go to the bed.
YOur songs can change to lullabies and that would help them drift off to sleep.
Jennifer says
I need help please! I loved your blog post, and plan to try out some of your tips, but I’m at my wits end with our daughter. She’ll be 3 in January, and ready for the past several months if we’re being honest, bedtime has been a nightmare! It seems no matter what we try she always ends up kicking and screaming and going to bed so upset. She’s still in a crib, so we leave her to herself and let her CIO. I just don’t know what else to do?!?
Melly says
Have had this issues ever since she was a baby. Surely gonna try your ideas. Thanks for the article, have a wonderful day and a peaceful night! :)