This is a sponsored post in partnership with BBVA Compass. All opinions are my own.
Mom guilt is something none of us are immune to. In my 6 years (so far) as a mother I’ve experienced it in more ways than I can count. No matter what you do, moms feel guilty. I’ve been a stay at home mom, I’ve worked in daycare (bringing my kids with me to work) and now I work full time.
Never has the guilt been so thick as when I started to work full time. While my job does allow me to stay home, there was a definite shift in the way I was perceived as a mom, when my husband quit his job and it was known that I work full time. It didn’t seem to matter that one of the reasons he quit was to help me around the house or that I had been working just as many hours before he quit his job. People don’t care that I’m actually working less now and my husband being home means sleeping “normal hours” again and less stress on our whole family. Sadly, those facts don’t change in how society (particularly in the South) views working moms.
My husband does all the cooking now. He packs lunches, he takes the kids to school. And me, I have an office in our house that locks so I can go in and get work done. Most of my hours are put in while the kids are in school, but not all of them. Several times a year I take trips for work, and my kids and husband stay home.
Our family situations looks different from the stereotypical situation, but it is working for us and we’re enjoying it. It took some adjusting to work through the mom guilt, but I think we’re finally getting to the point where the guilt is going away and we’re enjoying life in a way that makes sense for our whole family.
BBVA Compass recently joined up with Emma Johnson to make and ebook and podcast series for working moms. It was encouraging to see some of the science behind why having a working mom can actually be good for kids.
I found these numbers interesting…Here is what people THINK about having working parents..
and here is what people are doing as far as work goes.
You can easily see why this adds up to a lot of guilt for every one involved, can’t you?
So many people view having a mom who works as a negative thing, even if they are working moms! But why? I loved listening to the Working mom’s mean business podcast about the Working Mom’s impact on kids. Her studies found that daughters who had a mom who worked at some point during their childhoods were more likely to go on to have a successful career themselves. And sons who saw their moms working ended up taking on a larger share of housework when they got older. The affects on kids can actually be extremely positive!
One thing I really appreciated about both the book and podcast was that while it was focused on specifically alleviating guilt from working moms by showcasing the benefits, they didn’t do so at the cost of moms who choose to stay home with their children. In fact, there was a huge emphasis on the importance of kids seeing a variety of options as to what they might choose to do themselves when they grow up, with heavy emphasis on parents working together and making choices that work best for everyone involved!
I know and respect lots of moms who have made lots of different life choices, and it’s true that some of my mom friends that I love most are stay at home moms and I know that the way their lives work is of huge benefit to their kids.
But, as a working mom, I enjoyed hearing the statistics that show my lifestyle isn’t “second best” or selfish. Having a healthy, happy family is of the utmost importance and happy families come in all shapes, sizes and job descriptions!
I look forward to the day when mom guilt is a thing of the past, for all of us! Working moms and stay at home moms alike. Motherhood is hard enough without all of the added guilt that society places on us for every decision we make. If you are a working mom, I cannot encourage you enough to listen to this podcast and read the ebook! It was so encouraging to me as I listened and read this week, I couldn’t wait to share it with you!
Have you ever been made to feel guilty for your life choices as a mom? How do you combat mom guilt in your life?
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