No one ever talks about shoulder time, but I’m realizing it can be one of the most important things in a family’s day.
So many times we emphasize the importance of eye contact or one on one time with the kids, but recently, I’ve discovered something that seems just as important to our young kids. Shoulder Time. I’m glad that JOLLY TIME Pop Corn is taking the time to partner with us to talk about it!
Just as important as spending that time around the dinner table talking about their day at school, just as important as the eye contact we make and the excitement we muster for the tales of epic (made-up) proportions, shoulder time means the world to our kids.
It’s when we sit next to them, shoulder-to-shoulder, doing something that they love. It’s the time we spend enjoying their hobbies and taking interest in the things that they hold dear.
For my daughter, this often means watching the SAME movie that we watched yesterday, but giggling at all her favorite parts again as we sit with her on the couch.
For my son, this means working quietly next to each other on different LEGO creations and then coming together to brainstorm how to make our projects “cooler”.
Seeing the way the kids react to shoulder time spent with each of them individually AND with our whole family has encouraged us to want to do it more.
They’ve been asking to go on family walks and bike rides.
And even, this Summer they want to camp out in the living room. It means building blanket forts and popping popcorn, and the best part of indoor camping, watching movies together into the night.
I’ll let you in on a little secret too, right now when you buy specially marked boxes of JOLLY TIME Pop Corn, you get a free Redbox coupon code! Just add the fort and you’ve got the perfect night of family time ahead of you!
You can also follow them on Facebook to see how to enter to win a huge prize pack! Simply share a photo of your family’s “shoulder time” using the hashtag #haveajollytime to enter!
I’ve found that the importance for me, comes in taking the time to throw myself into what they enjoy. Quite honestly, I have a whole list of things I’d like to do with my kids. There are specific things I want to share with them either because it’s what I enjoy or because I want to share some special memory with them.
But in reality they are 5 and 3. They don’t care about my interests or my special memories. It’s true that one day they might, but today is not that day. Which means I throw myself into their interests. I learn more about building with LEGOs than I ever thought I would. I watch the movie about Paddington bear when I feel like I’d prefer to watch anything but that.
We throw birthday parties for stuffed animals while everyone wears silly hats. It’s the middle of the week and I just want to get through dinner time, but instead we laugh and we cheer and we tell the stuffed animals happy birthday and we love them. Because we know what the kids are really hearing is how much we love them.
Because this, this is what is most important. Face time, shoulder time, just…time. Time with the kids. Pouring into them and loving what they love. In those moments and hearing those giggles, I know they got the message. “Mama and Daddy love you.”
One day they’ll probably look back on this, and they’ll understand a little bit more. They’ll know that we were never really that excited about the third birthday this particular stuffed animal has had this year.
My son will know that I’ve never liked LEGOs and yet I played them with him every single day. Today he thinks it’s about the LEGOs, and feels loved. In 10-20 years, I’m thinking he’ll know it was never about the LEGOs and feel even more loved.
I never really stopped to think about why shoulder time is so important for kids, but now I’m starting to see it. It changes their days and let’s them know they are loved in more ways than I can measure. So we sit shoulder-to-shoulder munching our popcorn and doing what they love. Because what I love is them.
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