Do your kids believe everything that they hear? What about things they don’t hear? These are 10 lies my children believe, absolutely no doubt.
1. It’s okay if you want to wake up in the middle of the night to hear your favorite story one more time.
2. What I REALLY mean by “quiet down” is “Louder, faster, more if possible”!!!
3. It’s totally my favorite when you come sit on my face while I’m lying of the couch with a headache.
4. The perfect way to interrupt any conversation is to loudly ask the question “What about POO?!?!”
5. I love the way we can have open and honest conversations about poop every day.
6. I really don’t care if you ever figure out that whole “potty” thing. It’s probably a fad anyway.
7. I love it when you ask 57 questions about the story during reading time. Listening to the words to find out what happens is totally overrated.
8. It’s okay if you loudly tell everyone in the grocery store about the physical differences between boys and girls. I have zero regrets about teaching you the correct terms right now.
9. It doesn’t embarrass me at all when you ask why people are wearing their underwear at the beach or pool. When I “shh” you about it, what I’m trying to say is you need to ask louder, while pointing frantically at specific people.
10. What I really meant when I said “let’s clean your room” was “let me organize these toys so it’s easier for you to be more efficient with your mess making in the future. I’ll do this while you pull out one of your LEGO sets with approximately eleventy billion pieces and scatter those around your room.
Y’all. I’m not sure who is telling them these lies. But they are firm believers. And I need whoever it is, to stop.