Stress free potty training for girls and boys? Is that even possible? I say it is!!!
Potty training is notorious for being a stressful time. I’ve been nervous about potty training since the day my son was born! But it’s happened, he’s potty trained and it wasn’t a big deal. I read a LOT of potty training books, the boot camps, the 3 day methods, the weekend methods and more, but none of them seemed like the right fit for my strong willed toddler.
My boy can be quite stubborn when he wants to be, he’s not the best with structure, I knew we would have an all out war in our home if I tried to force him into it. He and I both go stir crazy if we don’t get out of the house everyday, so I was also uncomfortable with doing any of the 3 day/weekend methods that are so popular right now.
Before I explain any farther, I will give you a bit of context. When Little Man was bout 18 months old he was ready to potty train. He was interested, he was excited about it, and ready, but I was 6 months pregnant and didn’t have the energy to deal with it. This would have been the perfect time to do the 3 day method and I feel confident that it would have worked then, (especially this method my friend Becky has shared with me). But I missed that window of opportunity and he became disinterested and a bit more stubborn. So when I did my “wing it” or stress free method of potty training, he was already 2 and a half years old, and it worked perfectly.
Sure, all kids are different and all kids will respond to different things, but if you have a wild one on your hands like I do, this might just be the perfect potty training method for you! This was also the ideal method for our family because I knew I wouldn’t have help for a 3 day method or boot camp, since my husband works 6 days a week. I’m on my own most of the time with the kids, and I’d be unable to give Little Man the 1 on 1 attention that one of the more intense methods requires.
So I decided to wing it and do a totally unstructured version of potty training. I guess if I had to break it down it looks like this:
- I bought him ‘big boy’ underwear
- I showed him the potty and explained how it works
- I followed his lead
The details: I bought the new underwear, and I showed him how to use the potty one day, when he seemed particularly interested. Then, each time he wanted to wear his new underwear, he had to use the restroom first, or at least try. Some days he was interested, some days he wasn’t. We could go a week with no thought about underwear or potty training, and then the next week he might want to do it every day. It was up to him.
He had a few accidents while wearing the underwear, while he figured out when exactly he needed to go to the bathroom. It was’t a big deal though, and he caught on pretty quick.
He slowly started wearing underwear all the time when we were at home, and I would change him into a diaper for bedtime and whenever we went out in public. I wanted to have a full week with no accidents at home, before I started braving taking him out of the house in underwear.
A week passed and he was accident free at home, so I let him start wearing it when we were out for the day. He went several days with no accidents, but then had a little slip up when we were at my in-laws for a full day.
I’m still keeping him in diapers for nap and bedtime, because he’s a deep sleeper, but he’s 100% potty trained otherwise! He can climb up onto the big potty himself and he can remove his own underwear (needs help getting it back on).
This has been much easier than I thought it would be! No fights, no stress and tears, just moving towards the goal at his speed.
Sure, this won’t work for every one, but I thought I’d share our experience since it is different than most that I’ve read in the past. It’s not really a method of its own, other than following the child’s cues and doing what he or she is comfortable with. I encouraged using the big potty a lot, but didn’t force it. I still frequently remind him to “listen to his belly, and go potty when his belly tells him that he needs to”, but other than that he’s golden.
I was surprised that potty training could be done without a rigid method or any stressful days, but it can!
Randomly Fascinated says
That is an interesting method, I will have to remember it because it fits with my parenting style and family than the nazi style approach :)
Pottyman says
This is pretty useful information. If you are sick and tired of changing dirty diapers and want a potty training solution that guarantees results… Check out: http://tinyurl.com/htxvvbu
Alicia says
Per my request, my mom brought over some big boy undies when they came to visit us a couple of weeks ago. I guess now I have no other excuse not to start the inevitable days of potty training. I’m pretty nervous as well ;-) Thanks for the post. I’ll have to see how it works for my Little Man!
2Momma2 says
We’re potty training too and keeping it pretty stress-free also. I’m a big believer in the potty parties and potty training I. A day because we used to do it with our kiddos with autism when I was working as a behavioral therapist. However, when my kiddo was 18 months and we tried it out for the first few times, I had a newborn in the house! Now way! Even now, she’s 9-months and walki g so she definitely makes his potty training a little challenging still! We’re slowly plugging away at it and he’s doing fine – it’s mostly me who’s not ready for the extra pressure in our days. It will come!
Kristin
Rebecca says
This is a lot like what we did with our first. We started with some infant potty training when he was about 9 months old (which is NOT actual potty training, but at least he was going on the potty every day even if I was the one initiating it all the time). And it gradually worked out to him wearing underwear and being day time potty-trained when he was 2 years old. Our second child was (and still is) a different story. I’m pretty sure I stressed her out a ton! And now I’m potty training our third. Following her readiness signs but also taking a lot of initiative to do dry underwear checks and send her to the potty regularly. The structured thing works pretty well with her, but they are all different. Good job with your little guy!
Carrie from Carrie This Home says
I’m glad this worked for you! Potty training my daughter really didn’t go well & I’m hoping to do a better job next time with my son. I’ll be pinning this and coming back to it when the time comes!
I’m stopping by from Inspire Me Please (#18 Chocolate Covered Pretzels) Have a great weekend!
Michelle says
I think for the most part when kids are ready they do it. My kids are all around two years apart so I was trying to avoid having two in diapers each time around. With all three of them, I just told them they no longer made diapers in their size and they would have to use underwear and the potty. All of them were dry at night at this point. It worked with all of them. My third one was lazy about it sometimes and would change his underwear and throw the other ones in his closet (yuck!) but I don’t remember either of the other two having more than a couple accidents. I might have been lucky, but I think they were just ready. Thanks for linking up with us!
Danielle says
Oh, it is so hard, but so worth it once they get into pants. Thanks for sharing at Silver Pennies Sundays. x
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Amanda says
I love this! Thanks for writing a blog post…maybe I should write one, too, haha! This is exactly what I did with my son and it really was stress-free. Although, I encountered a lot of negative feedback from others (especially nursery workers at church)…so it was stressful for me! But my guy was so happy through the whole thing. He still wears pull-ups at night but I love that he’s out of diapers completely during the day as it cut down on the cost of them for him (we couldn’t do cloth). I love that your link came through under my comment (that had horrible spelling mistakes, ugh) on This Simple Home’s advice post. They fit together! =) Glad I found some others who felt the same way I did.
Melody Loomis says
I really appreciate your honestly with this article. I have a 2 1/2 year old strong willed daughter. I am getting a lot of pressure from folks about “potty training” but she just isn’t interested and I don’t want to fight her. I don’t want it to be something she hates doing or resents me for forcing it upon her. She is really smart and when I ask if she went poo-poo she responds with, “I just want to sit in it a little bit”. Ha! How am I going to change that attitude? So I bought her some cool underwear because she is really getting into clothes. Her diapers are plain brown so she keeps wanting to wear them. I tell her she can only wear them around if she uses the potty. We haven’t gotten far with it yet but this no pressure approach is much more tolerable for me. It’s nice to know someone else had success doing the same thing!