My little boy has been acting out a lot lately. I don’t know if he’s teething, or if he’s just trying to assert his authority as an (almost) 3 year old, but it’s made for some very long days during the past few weeks. The screaming, the crying, the tantrums the bossiness and the blatant disobedience. It’s a lot for one mama to handle.
Today as we were making our way up the steps to our 3rd story apartment I found myself yelling at him. I was carrying his 20 pound sister in one arm and 20-30 pounds of groceries in the other, and he was refusing to walk up the steps. Just standing there. For no reason. And, ashamedly, I lost my cool and started yelling at him to “get up those stairs right this minute…”
I know that for some people it is not, but yelling is a big deal for me. I really try not to do it, I don’t like it and I really avoid it if at all possible, but I was angry today, and my poor curious boy bore the brunt of that anger. We made it up the steps and I eventually got all the food put away. I knew I needed to make it right with my little guy so I called him over to my lap and scooped him to to talk. I told him I was sorry for yelling at him and that it was wrong, I should not have yelled, and I loved him. He looked at me for a moment with his brow furrowed in deep concentration. I awaited his response, expecting something profound, or at least a small reprimand (like I said, he’s been bossy lately). When he spoke it was something else all together. As he stared me down with his serious look on his face, he asked me “can I have some avocado now?” and that was that.
No drama, no extra hardships or struggle to forgive my wrongdoing. He was over it and ready to move on to more important things, like those delicious avocados we had bought at the grocery store.
It struck me how amazing he is, at two, to grasp forgiveness so well. Because as I held him and sincerely apologized for my outburst, I was still more that a little bit irritated with him for all his outbursts throughout the day. I was still holding his tantrums against him, and gearing up for a long evening. But my boy? Immediate forgiveness, as he rests in the knowledge of my love for him. I didn’t have to prove myself, or behave for a few hours before he calmed down and found it in his heart to quit stressing over my actions, he just forgave.
And my heart broke a little over my own actions, and my difficulty to forgive this small person who is so sweet and has his priorities so much straighter than my own.
Avocados are more important than how many times my boy and I have made mistakes today. We both love each other, and we’ll always be there, through thick and thin, through yelling and through tantrums. We’ll make it together, and we’ll say our sorries and he will continue to teach me about forgiveness and love. My oh so very wise two year old (who somehow can’t manage to make it through the day without screaming at everyone).
Life with toddlers is a wonderful chaos isn’t it? What have your kids been teaching you lately?
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Naomi says
This sort of simple forgiveness reminds me of this verse : “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:2–3)
Sarah says
Oh, Paula. I think I need to bookmark and pin and print this post to have around me all the time. I might just write “avocados” on post-it notes and stick them around my house.
Kristen Daukas says
Love it. And he’s right.. and we all need to remember that :)
Alexa Dunavan says
Agree, and reminds me of Bible verses as well, and also the 123 Magic book where he talks about our “adult tantrums” of yelling fits toward our children, modeling for them that yelling and reacting with too much emotion is acceptable. It is difficult not to get angry when it is open defiance of our rules for obedience and safety, but they are looking to us for the right behaviors, and we need to model by not throwing adult tantrums. It is best to teach them how to calm down and keep emotions from escalating to the point that everyone is yelling and arguing. Stay strong!
Gabrielle says
I love that. My kids have been teaching me that mess = learning. Meanwhile, I just want to whine: “But I waaaaaant a clean house.”
Shell says
I hate yelling. It rarely accomplishes anything, but I can’t seem to completely stop.
Stacy Voss says
Isn’t that amazing that they can forgive so easily? It always makes me wonder how we unlearned that along the way!
My Bubba has been teaching me about child-like faith as he tells me these incredible facts about heaven in his sweet, adoring voice, making these truths I’ve known forever resonate like never before.
I’d love for you to link up in Eyes of Your Heart Ministries’ new Eyes in the Word Wednesday if you ever feel like it. http://wp.me/p1PYyo-wt
Blessings!
JanetGoingCrazy says
I am terrible about yelling. I left my husband and son home together one day and lectured them about no yelling. I came home that night and within 10 minutes found myself yelling. I don’t know why I get so upset!
AnnMarie says
I love this! It is just like our sweet little ones to convict us of our adult actions and show us the innocence of a childs forgiveness. What a wonderful lessons with avocados! I won’t forget this! Visiting from Thursday Favorite Things!
Rachel says
Oh my! How sweet is that? What a wise boy you are raising! I hate when I lose my temper and break my LO’s heart; it’s such a big lesson for us to learn.
Karmen says
Such a great post! Wish it were that easy with teens and tweens but deep down, I guess it is. Thanks for the encouragement!
Debbie @ Deliciously Inspired says
My children are grown now but I truly believe God gives us these little people to help grow us up. They model joy, forgiveness, and perseverance that inspire us to be more than we are on a given day. Mommies get tired and sometimes a moment asks more of us than we have to give – groceries, babies and a stubborn toddler with an upstairs apartment would frazzle most of us. I can tell from your writing that you are good mama. I’m a new follower from Thursday Favorite Things Blog Hop 103.
Ceil says
Hi Paula! What a wonderful example you are to your son! You apologized to him, really giving him dignity. That is beautiful.
Don’t we all ‘lose it’ from time to time? At least now when he has a tantrum, you can tell him that you did too! And he just needs to apologize, and it’s all good. (My blog post is kind of on that theme today)
So nice to meet you! From SDG,
Ceil
Linda@Creekside says
Yep … our best life-lessons, the ones that hit home and make sense and change things up a bit are the ones learned at the knees of our little ones!
Monica says
That they need hugs more than reprimand. :-)
Loved this post – featuring at Family Fun Friday!
Monica
http://happyandblessedhome.com/category/family-fun/
Rebecca says
This is so true. I have apologized to my kids so many times. When they become teenagers the line is blurred even more! Sometimes I have apologized to them when we both owed each other an apology! Great post!