I’m pretty sure every mother ever has complained at some point about never going to the bathroom alone. The severe lack of personal space once you become “mom”, is never quite as clear as the moment you teething one year old sobbingly demands to sit on your lap while you do your business.
Alone time, quiet time, these are all but foreign concepts to mothers.
Many a joke has been made about not needing a luxurious vacation, a trip to the bathroom alone would do it for most moms and for a long time I thought I agreed.
Until my kids got just a smidge older. Mature enough to not feel like they need to be touching me every milliesecond of every day.
Something happened when this change occured. Sometimes, not everytime, but sometimes I go to the bathroom alone.
Yet it is not the bliss of unitneruppted business-doing that I once imagined it to be. It’s not 45 quiet seconds to think and process a complete thought without needing to tend to my kiddos.
Nope, none of those things. In fact, life is actually much more stressful when they don’t follow me in to the bathroom.
It’s not that I have some weird desire for an audience or an affinity for an audience. It’s simply the fact that, in those quiet moments I know that the 3 year old and the 2 year old have complete freedom in our house. There’s literally nothing I can do but worry, stress and hurry as quickly as physically possible and hope that nothing and no one comes to bodily harm in the 33 seconds it takes me to use the restroom.
As much as I may complain about having kids follow me in the bathroom all the time, I have to say it is MUCH more stressful when they don’t.
Realizing that, for a few moments, the 3 year old and the 2 year old have free reign of the house and there’s literally nothing I can do about it
Alone time? No thank you. I’d rather not emerge to find my daughter sobbing and my son yelling “I DIDN’T HIT HER! I DID NOT!!!!” Or a masterpiece done in permanent marker all over the new canvases I hung on the wall. Still unsure where they found the markers or how they always find the one thing in the house that’s impossible to clean, and promptly mess it up.
Nope, I’m not going to complain about never going to the bathroom alone. I’ll take all the company possible, the silence is much scarier than the constant companions.