I’m planning on buying my son a baby doll. am I crazy? Some people will probably think so, but I’m thinking it will be a good idea…
The main reason is, I want him to be prepared for when the new baby comes. He will only be 21 months old when the baby is born, and that is still very young to be comprehending what is going on and to suddenly learn how to act around a baby. If I get him a doll we can practice being “nice” and “gentle” and “soft”. I can teach him those words NOW instead of when he’s trying to smack her in the face as a greeting or throwing his truck at her head in an attempt to share. We have already been working on what “nice” means, and every time we see a picture of a baby in a book he will point and say “BABY!” excitedly, so I have been teaching him to be “nice and soft” with the baby (picture) and he will softly stroke the picture or pat it. Looking at the pictures in books is actually what started this whole thought for me, and the more I think about it the more I like the idea.
I tried to think of good reasons against it, as I know there are people out there who will think I’m nutso for considering this, but I have yet to come up with any. It seems a little backward, but that’s not a reason. Maybe my husband will…
When I worked in childcare at a local gym I remember one day seeing a little boy around the age of 4 playing house, he was cooking and holding the baby with his sister. His dad came in and was clearly uncomfortable with this and started telling his son to stop. He didn’t do it in a mean way, but you could tell that the dad was really embarrassed that his son was playing dolls etc. While this may be a normal reaction from a dad who wants to see his son playing with trucks and “manly” things, it did strike me as odd. The little boy wasn’t pretending to be a mommy or a woman, he was just playing daddy, he was taking care of the dolls, just as his dad takes care of him. There’s nothing girly about that and nothing to be ashamed of, it actually is a really good thing to teach our sons, or so it seems to me.
I don’t think buying my son a doll will suddenly make him feminine or hurt his boyhood. My little man is very clearly all boy. He loves all the typical little boy things trucks, balls, loud noises, etc etc. It has actually amused me a lot how he has been attracted automatically to the toys that one would normally think of when they think “little boy”. He has a lot of generic toys that would be considered gender neutral, but it is almost as if he is drawn to anything with wheels or anything he can bang or hammer on. It has been pretty interesting to watch.
That being said, I’m planning to add a doll baby to the mix in the next few days. I may keep the baby in my room or something and just bring it out sometimes for him to play with and “practice” being a big brother. The only reason I wouldn’t leave it out is because I don’t want him to end up hammering on it or stepping on it etc. That ruins the whole lesson! ;)
I did talk to my husband about it, he was thrown off at first as to why in the world I would buy our son a doll, but after I explained my rasoning behind it, he agreed that it would probably be very helpful to our little guy so I’m excited to try!
I googled this idea it seems like some other people have done it extremely successfully with their older children, so I am interested to give it a go. What are your thoughts? or have you done something similar? would love to hear your stories if you have!
*Update- You can read the follow-up post about my son’s reaction to the doll & how it worked for us by following this link.
Shanda says
I agree with you…it won’t change who he is or how he thinks.
Fawn says
Love it! Can you imagine the years and years it takes men to get in touch with their feelings and emotions because they’re taught to keep them locked away. The man who doesn’t have to do that will enjoy life to the fullest. And a small gesture like this, could be a catalyst for change. Like Shanda said, it won’t change who he is or how he thinks.
Liz says
My 2-y-o son went through a time of wanting to push a baby doll in his older sister’s pink doll stroller. My daughter had a girl and a boy baby doll, and the deal between them seemed to be that she has the girl in the pink onesie and he has the blue and rainbow-striped one. I just let him – like you said, he wasn’t playing mommy, he was playing with the baby. Interestingly, we were walking through town one time with him pushing the blue baby in its stroller, and an older gentleman smiled at us and said “he’s going to be a good dad!”
Kathryn says
I love this too and I think that’s a perfect way to teach him before the baby comes. I may have to do that with Adam if we have another!