My husband asked me to write this post. “What dads really want for Christmas” he said.
“Why are there so many posts saying we want a new tie or a toolset or those weird mind puzzle things that no one ever does? We don’t want any of that. Well, maybe some people do, but no one that I know.”
So I asked. Okay then, what do dads want for Christmas? Make me a top-10 list and I’ll write it.
He said I was missing the point.
He said dads don’t care about being surprised by some random thing they didn’t know existed and wouldn’t have wanted even if they did.
Dads are practical. They want what they want, surprise or not. Moms want the surprises. Moms want the excitement of choosing just the right gift (whether it ends up being right or not). But dads want the practical.
“What does that even mean?” I asked. How can I know what practical thing you are wanting.
“Ask me”. He said.
“Stop guessing and ask the dad in your life what he wants. Then get it. Forget the surprises and the gimics. We’ll be happy with giving you an idea and you doing that. It doesn’t take the magic of it away for us. Stop guessing a top 10 list and just ask what we want. We’ll tell you.”
So maybe this year instead of trying to figure out what dad wants under the tree, you can just ask him. Maybe ask hi to give you three choices and you can choose from those, that way you can still surprise him but he still gets what he wants.
Find what works for your family, but I’ve certainly been surprised that this is how they prefer it. It seems so backwards to me. But every man that I’ve mentioned it to has said “yes, obviously that’s what I want. To be asked.” and every wife/mom has been horrified and shocked at the idea of no more surprises. But there you have it.
Ask your husband. It’s likely he’s like mine and wants the same simple thing. To be asked and not surprised.
Could you do this in your house even if it is what dad really wanted for Christmas? Or do you have to do a surprise?