When I was younger, I did a lot of babysitting. I’ve always loved being around kids and taking care of babies and I always looked forward to being a mama myself. I learned a lot in my years of babysitting, working in daycares and in an orphanage, I guess I assumed I’d be more “ready” for motherhood. But all the experience in the world can’t prepare you for the beautifully difficult reality that is motherhood.
I remember categorizing mothers as a teen, in my mind a mama was a “novice” until her child was around 2 years old. By that time (in my view) she had her stuff together and pretty well knew what she was doing.
Last November my son turned two and I was faced with a huge reality check. I freaked out a bit at first… “he’s two and I still don’t know what I’m doing!!!” and “I’m supposed to have it all figured out by now!”. Then reality set it. Nope, I still don’t know what I’m doing but I’m guessing that most moms don’t.
Because as soon as we have this season of motherhood all figured out, something will change, some one will grow or hit a new developmental stage and all the wonderful systems and theories that we have had in place will come crumbling down.
As mamas we are always growing, always changing, always evolving as mothers to care for the constantly-changing needs of our families.
So today, I confess, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just loving my kids, and figuring it out as I go.
I never know what kind of a day we’ll have until we’re having it (though I do my best to make them all good days, that doesn’t always happen.), but I’m learning to just go with what happens and “wing it”.
Maybe that’s normal or perhaps I’m the odd one out. But, in case you find yourself peeking around at all the moms you know and thinking you are the only one that only pretends to know what she’s doing, I wanted to let you know I don’t know what I’m doing either. Sure, I act like I do, I come off like I know exactly what’s going on and how to handle each misbehavior and every tantrum, but I don’t. I’m still learning and I have a feeling I will be learning more about motherhood everyday of my life.
Wanting more from this series, or just wondering what it’s all about? Click the image below to find all the posts in the series, including the intro to let you know what the purpose of these “confessions of an imperfect Mother” are all about.
Britney Mills says
Thanks for sharing this! Baby #1 will be here in a few weeks and so this gives me a little more perspective!
Terri S. Vanech says
None of us knows what we’re doing! Some of us are just better at faking it! ;)
Val - Corn, Beans, Pigs & Kids says
My husband and I are expecting our second child soon and this post makes me think of something he jokes about – “one child is an accessory, two children is a lifestyle”!
As long as we love, we are being great Moms. Love our husbands, love our children and love God – simply love!
Grace @ Craftadon says
I usually end up saying, “Sorry, girls, turns out I’m not so good at being an adult…”
Gabrielle says
Me too, Paula, me too. I remember back to my working days. I had a great job teaching English at a high school. I earned my master’s degree at 23 or 24, and I remember thinking “Oh no, one of these days, someone’s going to realize that I don’t know what I’m doing!!!” I eventually got comfortable with that feeling, and while I planned and planned, I knew that in some way, I would have to wing it or just figure it out as I went along with the day’s lessons. We work with kids, and kids are not math equations. They change and we have to change in response. Now that I’m a mommy, it’s the same way. I can read all the books & blogs, talk to older, wiser mommies, but at the end of the day, I’m still going to have to figure out what works for me. And part of that is realizing that I’ll never really know what I’m doing, and I’ll never have it all figured out. You’re a good mama for realizing this early on.
Erica says
It’s funny you posted this on my facebook wall. I read your blog posts as soon as they come out. I don’t always comment, but I am a faithful reader. Thanks for humoring me and sharing your post!
I really enjoy reading your blog and I pray for your family daily.
your bloggy freind-
Erica
We Three Crabs
Penny Lane says
Thanks for sharing your heart. How true it is. I’m always getting questions from mom, some of who’s kids are older than my own and I’m thinking, “Why are you asking me? I have no clue what I’m doing!”
Your newest follower, Penny Lane