Some days are hard. And with those hard days often times come hard seasons. And a little boy who can do nothing but pick on his sister and scream at his mama. Everything that goes wrong these days seems to be my fault, at least that’s what his four year old brain is telling him.
Although I handle things consistently and try my best to proceed with patience and grace, one hard day after another just keep piling up and his behavior is nothing short of wearying.
So instead of yelling, or lecturing I put him to bed last night, took 30 minutes to eat dinner with my husband and then went and got him back up again. He wasn’t quite asleep yet as I brought him his shoes and told him we were going to get ice cream.
Just him and I, on an unexpected “late night” (by his standards) trip to the ice cream shop.
It wasn’t a reward for bad behavior, but it was the only way I could show him in a big way how special he is to me.
No distractions. No sister competing for attention. No chores or toys to get in the way.
Just two ice cream cones and a mama and her boy.
I’d like to say it solved all of our problems. That he was a different child the next day. It didn’t and he wasn’t. We’re still working through this tough season. But through it, I’m hunting for extra ways to show him love.
Because some days I get caught up in the teaching and the correcting that I miss the “I love yous”. I don’t want the time we spend talking about how you can and cannot talk to your mama to deafen his ears to how much I care about him.
It was a small thing. But it was also a big thing.
I’m still figuring out this challenging age of not-quite-five. It seems like he is too. But we’re doing it together, ice creams in hand, and I think we’ll be alright.
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Crystal says
Thank you. I really needed that. The love I have for my son is so special, yet he is so difficult most days to handle. This was a breath of fresh air to me. I feel alone, like I must be the only mom who has an extremely hard headed and strong willed son.
Sherry says
Me too?
Tina Feehan says
Hi I have 4 children and my eldest was quite a difficult child to say the least. I read an amazing parenting book (well I read many) called the incredible years written by an American doctor called Carolyn Webster Stratton and I followed her plan and things were so much better when following her suggestions. Also an amazing book is raising boys. I had 3 boys then a girl all in 6 years so things got pretty grueling at times. Having regular 1:1 time with each of my children was one of the best recommendations along with ignoring the bad (within reason)!and praising the good. You sound line a lovely mum and you probably know about what I’ve mentioned but I thought I’d share with you just in case. Enjoy your children. They grow up in the blink of an eye and you wakeup one day and you realise you’ve done a great job when all along you’ve questioned your parenting skills, listening to others instead of listening to your own better judgement is the most common mistake most of us make. Gut instinct is usually right so taking your son out for icecream was probably the best thing you could have done for him at that time. We’ll dome you. Loved reading this.
Jennifer DeFrates/Heaven Not Harvard says
Oh my lanta! Almost 5 was a rough stage for us, I mean every stage has its tantrums and challenges, but that was a rough one for us too. She was having more grown up expectations and wants, but without the maturity to process and handle them. She is almost six now and I feel like we’re coming out the other side, but it took LOTS of prayer and fro yo at her favorite place didn’t hurt either – GOOD JOB showing him he is loved just because. That is how God loves us!