I might as well be honest. I don’t enjoy nursing my babies. I nursed my son until he was a year old, and I’m hoping to make it that long with my daughter, but that doesn’t mean I like it! I know it’s supposed to be this beautiful bonding expreience between me and my kiddos, but I just don’t feel that when I nurse. I feel annoyed, and bored I know so many people that just adore nursing their children. They cherish it, they are saddened when their babies decide to wean, while I keep a mental countdown going until I’m done nursing for good (just under 7 more months in case you are wondering). It’s not painful, I can even sleep through it, we really have no problems with it. I just don’t enjoy it.
Why do I hate (and love) breastfeeding? Let me break it down for you:
What I hate:
1. It’s all on me – No one else can do it! I don’t/can’t pump, so anytime the baby needs food it’s my responsibility. Even if hubby is watching the kids so I can nap or write or have a minute to myself, as soon as the baby starts crying for food he has to get me because I’m the only one that can do it.
2. All the touching – At time I just want to push both kids off me and say “STOP TOUCHING ME!!!”. All day I’m holding them, or they are climbing on me, sitting in my lap, or being nursed. It can get a bit overwhelming at times, especially when there is no break from it. ever. ;)
3. Feeling like I’m starving – the first few months I’m usually okay, but somewhere around month #5 I start feeling like I can’t get enough food. I can eat a huge dinner and be hungry for another full meal 30 minutes later. Since I hate cooking and/or preparing food this is extra annoying.
4. Lack of sleep – I’ve heard that babies who take formula often start sleeping through the night before breastfed babies because it takes longer for a baby to digest formula than it would take them to digest breastmilk. I’m not sure if this is true, but I’m sure ready to stop getting up 3+ times a night to nurse my 5 month old baby girl ;)
What I love:
1. The smiles – the little milky grins from baby right after she’s had her fill.
2. It’s free – The price really can’t be beat. Formula is SO expensive :/
3. The health benefits – no denying there are plenty of health benefits for mom and baby. And that’s one of the main reasons I do it. (that and the cost!)
4. Portability – I love not needing to worry about packing bottles, or milk, distilled water etc. All I need is myself, the baby and my nursing cover and I’m good to go. Super easy.
So there’s my confession. I don’t love nursing. I actually kinda hate it. But I do it anyway to save money mainly, and the health benefits are pretty good too. I could never judge a mama who chooses to do formula or can’t nurse. Even though I hate doing it, I am thankful that I am able to nurse my kiddos and that both of them figured it out immediately. I dont’ know if I’d be able to make it if we had any big issues :P
What about you? formula or breastmilk? In your opinion what are the pros/cons of your choice? No fighting or arguing please! Just friendly conversation and sharing of stories and experiences. We are all imperfect mamas and we all make the choices we feel are best for our families. And those choices don’t always look the same as the ones our friends make. <3
If you are nursing, check out these awesome deals from an affiliate of mine! These are affiliate links, and I will get rewarded if you choose to get a FREE nursing cover or FREE nursing pillow! You can’t beat free!!!
Gabrielle says
What a refreshing post! I love your honesty. I really am one of those moms who looooves to nurse her babies. I really can’t think of a single thing about it that I dislike. We had to fight to make breastfeeding work with my first baby, so it’s something I really cherish and don’t take for granted.
As for the sleeping through the night thing, I really think that’s a myth. I’ve known of many formula-fed babies who did not sleep all night, and my first baby actually slept through the night at 3 weeks old–and I’m talking 12 hours straight! I woke her up around 10 to nurse, but she would sleep from 8 pm to 8 am and was exclusively breastfed.
Kudos to you for continuing to do something you really don’t enjoy, all for the sake of saving money and being healthy. That’s wonderful.
Paula says
wow! that’s fantastic that your baby slept that well that soon! sigh hard not to be jealous ;)
I’m glad that you can love it, I wish I was one that did, but oh well.
Stephanie Pass says
Gabrielle,
What you said is very familiar for me. I had horrible issues with nursing my first baby. Two lactation consultants gave up on me, but I was gonna be damned if I didn’t nurse. I went on to successfully nurse my first until she was about 2 1/2 when she weaned.
I had such a difficult time those first 2 weeks with my first, that nursing is something I will never take for granted. I cherish it. It’s like this precious thing that I want to keep and protect forever. I cry when my kids wean themselves.
Plus, I do enjoy that release of oxytocin when I’m nursing. It’s such a great relaxing rush that comes over me. Half the time I can barely keep my eyes open.
But, I agree it can be totally annoying and boring at times. That’s why I have either a good book, my iPhone, or the tv remote handy whenever I nurse. Otherwise, I’d go nuts. Plus, I completely understand the whole touchy thing and hunger thing. There are times when I don’t want to nurse, and I want to lay in MY bed by MYself without a baby or toddler attached at the nipple. And, I starve through breastfeeding, too. Every single time, all I want to do is eat.
But with all the annoying times, I know this is just a fleeting moment in the lives of my children that is truly one of the best things I can give them.
I’m crazy, I know it. I believe in child led weaning, so we nurse forever in this house. Baby #2 was 4 1/2 when he weaned himself, with a bit of suggestion from mommy ;) And, baby #3 just turned 3 and is still going strong. I think she might go forever if I let her. She loves those milkies.
Amanda says
Thank you for your honesty! I feel the same way as you do. Both my little ones self-weaned around 7 months but even so I was never in love with breastfeeding. I was never one of those ladies who loved being pregnant either. I heaped a lot of guilt on myself with my first baby because we had major issues breastfeeding and even when we worked through them I never had those warm-and-fuzzy feelings that were “supposed” to be there.
Paula says
I’m the same way with pregnancy! Definitely not a fan ;)
I don’t get any warm fuzzies from nursing either. but my kids and I are still close, as i’m sure you are super-close with yours as well. ;) nice to know we’re not alone!!!
Risa says
I totally agree with you! Yes, I am more bonded with my son than I think that I would be if I weren’t breastfeeding, but I don’t like it for the same reasons you don’t. I do pump and my hubby will get up with him one night a week sometimes with a bottle I’ve pumped but I still wake up, can’t sleep through it, and eventually end up holding him to rock him back to sleep because he starts crying about something else and won’t stop. My 6 year old wants to snuggle and I’m like no no I’ve had a baby on me all day. I’ve finally gotten to the point (after about 2 months) where I will let my hubby touch me again lol. But the benefits outweigh the annoyances, and there are great things about it too.
Paula says
you are right, the benefits outweigh the annoyances. I need to keep that perspective!!! ;)
Aprille says
I stuggled a lot with nursing our son. He wouldn’t nurse for almost three weeks and I wanted to do it soooo badly. Finally a lot of tears, formula, pumping, and meetings with FOUR lactation consultants, it finally clicked for him. Within a week he was refusing a bottle and has been nursing ever since. He nursed every hour for months and months, and was still up every two hours at night when he turned one. He didn’t sleep through the night consistently until he was 19 months old!!! I’m still recovering from the exhaustion.
We are still nursing and he just turned 28 months.
I too have a love hate relationship for all the reasons you mentioned…and the teeth. He’s never been a biter but his latch has always been less than ideal so I always am left with indentations from his teeth. It’s like combination nursing / nibbling. So in that sense it’s beyond annoying and down right painful at times. But we only nurse for about 5 minutes a side and are now only nursing twice a day. I never crack or bleed or get sore either so it’s not that big of a deal.
Right now I’m in a bit more of a love stage just because he’s growing up so fast and he’s so sweet when he nurses and it really helps calm him for bed. I keep telling mysf that he won’t nurse forever even when it feels like it!!!
Paula says
wow! that is dedication girl!!! way to go! I’m sorry it’s painful for you though :(
Kassi @ Truly Lovely says
Ok, so I haven’t had kids yet, so this was an interesting read for me. You always hear people say all the positive things, so it’s refreshing to hear that it’s not positive all the time. Makes you wonder though, everyone seems to love it, but it can’t always be roses!?! So thanks for being honest!!!
Paula says
I really do know a lot of people that just adore it! which is just crazy to me! (I wish I was that way and loved it)
it is definitely not all roses, but for me the benefits outweigh the annoyances, even though I do whine about it ;)
Shell says
I used to get so frustrated that it all fell to me- especially those middle of the night feedings. And while babies #2 and #3 would take a bottle if I pumped (first one would NOT for anything), I still would have to pump to get that supply for when I’d be gone or have to pump to make up for the missed feeding.
But I did love the convenience of it most of the time- I used to say I nursed b/c I was too lazy to have to deal with bottles!
Paula says
haha I like that “nursing because I’m too lazy to deal with bottles”! definitely true for me too (among other reasons)
my diaper bag isn’t even large enough for bottles to fit! ;)
Kate @ Mommy Monologues says
I don’t pump either or supplement with formula. I’m strictly a breastfeeder & I find it exhausting. I’m ready for it to be over (baby turns 1 at the end of March & then we start weaning!)
The only thing I would add is I HATE how huge my chest gets when I’m pregnant & nursing. I go from a 34 C to a 36 FF. No lies. I have to special order nursing bras.
Those are only complaints because I wouldn’t do it any other way. I know that the benefits outweigh the hard stuff! I love how much my babies love to be close to me & how we really are attached, etc. It can be wonderful & overwhelming all at the same time!
Paula says
yes, I hate that too! I just wasn’t brave enough to write it! I’m a generally small person all around and when I’m nursing a lot of my shirts and dresses become un-wearable because they are WAY too revealing :/
“wonderful and overwhelming” i love it ;)
Becoming SuperMommy says
I totally could have written this.
#3 is six month old (six and a half!). I nursed #1 and #2 until they self weaned at 10 months, and honestly I’m hoping she’ll wean even earlier. I’m still doing it, but really… not crazy about it.
Paula says
haha nice! my little one doesn’t seem to LOVE it like my son did. She and I both seem to just do it so she’s fed and that’s it ;) I’m glad we’re on the same page at least.
yay for sticking with it even though you don’t love it!
Amanda says
I know exactly how you feel – especially #1 and #4. I believe strongly in the health benefits of nursing, but I nursed until my son was 1 and that was it. I needed sleep SO BAD. Plus, nursing was often painful/uncomfortable.
There were some really sweet moments, but there was a lot more discomfort, feeling tied down, and nursing strikes. Oh joy, trying to get a screaming baby to latch on. There goes nursing discreetly when you’re away from home.
Paula says
my feelings exactly! :)
i hate it when they scream and then won’t latch. can be so frustrating. my son’s first birthday was the last time he ever nursed and I’m planning to do the same with my daughter or maybe even a week or two early! ;)
Elisha says
Totally with you on this. I never enjoyed breastfeeding. Ever. I was tired of being touched constantly, tired of always feeling hungry and just plain tired!
I know it is healthy, cost effective, etc.
That is why I stuck to it with each of my boys for 8 months. :)
I do miss those sweet quiet moments of him looking right in my eyes and the world stopped. Nothing else mattered except Mommy and baby bonding time :)
Paula says
those moments are definitely priceless <3
Katrina says
Ah! I love your honesty! Thank you for writing this. I have quite a few friends who could have written your words!! Many of my close friends nursed because it is the “in” thing to do (so it seems) because it’s been noted as the “best” for the baby, and who doesn’t want the best, if they can provide it? But even though they nursed, they did not enjoy it and was happy to wean the baby at 6 months. Me? I’m the oddball of my circle of friends. I’m the mommy to nine kids…#10 due in May 2013…and I LOVE nursing. I love it for all the reasons you hate it, LOL. I love that no one else can feed the baby – love that he needs and wants ME most. ( My baby – MINE! hehe.) And I love, love, love all the touching. The no sleep thing is never an issue for me because I sleep with the newborn/infant/baby and they almost always sleep through the night when they are next to me all night long. I sleep just fine that way. (I know that many moms can’t sleep well with baby~everyone is different! If I didn’t sleep well with a baby in my bed, then believe me he’d be in the crib! I need my sleep!) And yes, the perk is that it’s FREE! And portable! And healthy! I guess…if I’m honest…the only thing I don’t like about nursing is that I can’t eat/drink whatever I want. No alcohol – blah! I want my glass of red wine in the evenings! Ah well.
Paula says
that’s awesome that your baby sleeps through the night with you! I co-slept with my oldest until he was 4 months and still occasionally put the baby in our bed now (She’s 5.5 months) but neither of them sleep through the night when they are in our bed. they still wake up to eat :/
mmmm red wine would be nice. I’ve been pregnant or nursing since I turned 21 so I don’t have much experience there but it sounds nice ;)
Ruthie says
I personally liked nursing, well, mostly. What I hated the most was always excusing myself to go nurse. I had to do this for my daughter because she wouldn’t nurse if she was covered. With my son, I was so use to do nursing uncovered, I just did it automatically even though he would nurse covered. I always felt like I missing things. I must say I loved having my babies close and knowing I was the only one able to supply them with food. Event today my kids and I have a closeness. They still love to touch me and climb on me!
Paula says
that is sweet that you still have that closeness with your kids! I hope that I always do with mine as well.
missing things is never fun! I’m grateful my baby will let me nurse her with a cover, so we’re able to do it pretty much anywhere!
Hannah says
It’s so taboo among mothers to say anything “bad” about nursing. Thank you for being so honest!! My oldest child had a REALLY hard time nursing, but she eventually caught on. My milk supply wasn’t very good so we supplemented with formula and I managed to nurse her until she was a year old even though it was difficult right up until the end. My second baby was born SCREAMING angrily and turned purple with anger when I tried to nurse him. Even though I got help from numerous lactation consultants, doctors, etc, he never did get the hang of it. At 3 months, I got mastitis and that completely ruined my milk supply so we switched to all formula. In a month, he had gone from an unhappy, screaming, scrawny baby to a happy, chubby baby. With my third baby, I agonized over what to do. There was pressure from medical personal, family, friends, and the general public to breastfeed or at least to give it a try. The thought of breastfeeding again literally made me sick to my stomach with anxiety and I decided not to even try it. Best decision ever! This is the first time I’ve been able to actually enjoy having an infant! Frankly, I find bottlefeeding much more bonding than breastfeeding and I love that I’m not the ONLY one who can feed her.
Paula says
oh my goodness! what an adventure you had trying to nurse! I can’t imagine going through that :( It’s definitely not for every one! and not the most essential thing you can give your baby either. Much better that you be a well rested, not stressed out mama than a breastfeeding one! ;) Glad you were able to make the decision that was best for you and your babies even though it’s not the “norm”! Kudos to you Hannah!
Diane Rabinowitz, RN, IBCLC says
“While breastfeeding may not seem the right choice for every parent, it is the best choice for every baby.” – Amy Spangler.
Sarah says
99% of the time I love nursing. :) I do at times wish DH could nurse some too so it didn’t always fall on me. Ha!
Paula says
haha you read my mind! I often tell my hubby that he needs to take a turn nursing! ;)
Rebecca says
Hey Paula! Thanks for linking up with Moms Against Manic Mondays!! I love meeting new friends through the blogosphere. :)
I’m one who loved being pregnant and adored nursing all four times, even with some complications with a couple of them at the beginning. I know every woman and every family is different, and I respect that. Thank you for a transparent post that encourages women to face how they’re feeling about something, and evaluate whether to cease or push through. I’m proud of you for pushing through; that takes courage and stamina. Go you!!!
With love,
Rebecca
From My Mountain View (dot) com
Paula says
thans Rebecca! :) I’m glad that you enjoy pregnancy and nursing. I’m not a real fan of either, so I’m always extra happy for those that enjoy it. hehehe <3
kelli @ eat pray read love says
I, like the others appreciate your honesty. You can’t make yourself love something! :) I don’t adore pregnancy but I do love nursing. I think it began with #1 because he was born ill, and I was determined that something in our lives would be normal! He struggled for 5 weeks but finally caught on.
I will say this, I’m nursing #4 as we “speak” and it hurts like heck this time for some reason. (he’s 8 weeks old) Anything ever work for you if you had pain? It’s not an infection- I”m not red and I don’t have fever.
Paula says
:( I”m sorry you are in pain! will be praying you find the solution or it clears up quickly. I don’t know of any off the top of my head but you could try searching here or calling a consultant in your area?
this is the site for the le leche league
http://www.llli.org/
I hope that helps! :)
kelli @ eat pray read love says
Thanks that’s so sweet! Advil and a hot compress did wonders. :)
Saretta says
I nursed my first son until he was 16 months old, when he stopped himself when the colostrum came in for my second son. I had two months break, and then here I am again. Been nursing my second for four months now. My first son was a nurse allllll the time kid, but I got blessed this time around. My second son slept through the night pretty much since birth and seven minutes every couple of hours around his nap proves sufficient. (I think I just didn’t know what I was doing much with the first.) I love that I can breastfeed. I don’t pump at all…I’m it. I think breastfeeding is what helped me connect to my first son. It’s not so much of a emotional reason for me to nurse…I just feel that God made me for this purpose…he made my body to provide for my children. It’s not always easy though. The hardest thing for me is not being able to do some of the things I love. I can’t just take my baby to a women’s bible study…so I can’t go. Any excursion I take on my own has to be on speed and isn’t very relaxing. It is sometimes hard to always be on duty so to speak. But the good thing is…I don’t ever have to worry about a recall. :)
Paula says
hehe not having to worry about a recall is pretty awesome ;)
and that is wonderful that you love it :) I was actually able to find a women’s biblestudy that allows me to bring my baby which has been a huge blessing. <3 (bsf international) but it is hard to never "get a break" so to speak.
Alix says
I one of the mama’s that adores being pregnant and adores nursing. My first didn’t latch well at first, which caused cracking and bleeding, and even once he started latching better, nursing still wasn’t comfortable for about 3 months. So that part I didn’t enjoy, but once we got past that, I loved it. I sobbed when I realized that he had weaned himself, around 15 months. My second is now 5 months, and we have had an amazing nursing relationship from the start. I’m hoping to exclusively BF for at least a year, and continue BF’ing for at least 2 years. Sometimes I do wish hubby could nurse her, so that I can take a hot bath in peace ;)
Paula says
that’s awesome that you love both. I’m always jealous in a way of those that love it ;) wow 2 years is a great goal! there is no way I could do it, but I know several people who do and it’s awesome for the kiddo!!! sigh, wouldn’t it be great if hubbys could nurse too?!?!?! lol I’m always telling my hubby it’s his turn to nurse her. ;)
Glenda Childers says
I am glad you shared your story … it will be a relief to others who feel the same way.
Fondly,
Glenda
Paula says
thanks for the encouragement Glenda <3
Judith at WholeHearted Home says
I loved all of your thoughts on why you liked to nurse. Those are helpful in offsetting the natural thoughts you have to the opposite. There is so much for a mother to do that our husbands cannot help with because they work. I often found as I was sitting and nursing my mind was rushing on to other things that had to wait. It was especially difficult when company was coming. A fussy baby and a party can be difficult because you must often stop to nurse. These are the things that play on the good things about nursing and at times can seem to out-weigh the good. As someone who is now older, I want to encourage you that you are doing such a good thing for your children. Even though sometimes you would rather not be nursing, you have chosen something so much better for them. You are learning to be unselfish, something that will stand true for you as your children reach into their teen years.
I nursed my children, but one of them needed to have formula with cereal mixed into it. After being accustomed to nursing I found formula + cereal to be a royal pain in my neck!! Mixing it (especially in a rush when you really should have left the house already) can be a nuisance. Washing the bottles …. What a pain. Yes, they had those disposable ones since I was 12….so there is nothing too new out there. Going on vacation….what a mess!! I still was the primary person to feed my child….so there goes the theory that someone else can feed them. All in all…I preferred nursing to bottles and formula. I also was sad when I nursed for the last time…isn’t that funny how that happens?? I hope this has encouraged you??
Thanks for linking up over at WholeHearted Home.
Paula says
thank you so much for the encouragement Judith, and for sharing your story!!! I love hearing stories and experiences from moms who have been there. definitely an encouragement!!! <3
Noel Lizotte says
You are not alone! obviously, from all the previous comments!! I left my indepth comment on BlogHer’s like to your post … so not going to repeat it all here.
This choice is the important thing. Your reasons for your choice are important to you. Everybody should have the choice and not feel inferior either way.
Paula says
I read your comments on blogher (having trouble replying over there) thank you!!!
I agree, no one should be made to feel inferior regardless of how they choose to feed their baby! there are much bigger issues to worry about ;)
thanks for stopping by!!!
Michelle says
This completely my experience! I wrote my own breastfeeding experience not long ago. I nursed both my kids. Both times were painful in the beginning and there were a lot of tears shed because the pain were so unbearable. I had a lot of clogging issues, not to mention bleeding in the beginning. I am grateful I had lots of supply and able to nurse as I know moms who really wanted to, can’t. I don’t take it for granted. My son took the bottle easily so I got a little break with pumping but my daughter refuse to take the bottle and was more demanding. I really wanted to enjoy nursing and kept at it for 14 months. Luckily both kids weaned off on their own and I have to say, I was really relieved when I was done.
You listed out pretty much my love and hate of nursing.
You’re not alone! And now I know, I’m not either. :)
Paula says
:( I’m sorry it was so painful for you. I can’t imagine being in pain with it, since I already don’t enjoy it!!!
Yay for not being alone in something though <3
AlwaysARedhead says
I had no desire to breastfeed at all, so didn’t. I don’t stop other women from breastfeeding, it is their choice, just like it was mine not to.
Paula says
well said.
Kristina says
Why don’t you supplement with formula? My two youngest children wouldn’t take bottles, but I didn’t have the angst about nursing that you have. I’m just wondering if it would help if someone else *could* feed them occasionally. All moms need breaks, significant ones. You need to be able to get out of the house without your children, even if you are nursing. You need to be able to recharge, and nursing shouldn’t keep you from doing that. So, I’m wondering if there would be a way for you to supplement during those times when you just need a break, which would make all the other aspects of nursing easier.
Paula says
I was definitely considering it! (finances is the main reason) but I decided to start her on solids a bit early and see how it went from there. She LOVES baby food, so that has helped and gives me some rest time, because she sleeps a bit longer at night now. Thanks so much for the encouragement! :)
Cori says
I am so happy to see this, as I feel the same way as you. I have three kids. The first one I refused to even try breastfeeding. I mean, I already spent 9 months watching every single thing that I put into my body, why would I want to do it anymore? My second child, I decided that I would give it a shot, but if it wasn’t smooth sailing, then hey at least I tried and I wouldn’t have any hard feeings over failing (in fact I kind of hoped that my baby just couldn’t figure it out).Breastfeeding _#2 ended up being smooth sailing, not one single issue, but my lord no one ever tells you how much effort is involved (pumping, storing, engorgement while away for an extended amoun of time, ect). So by #3 I felt obligated to try and breastfeed again, after all I already had all the supplies. 10 weeks in I and going strong. My feelings on breastfeeding – it’s certainly not as glamorous as it is made out to be. P.S. I think the main reason I do it, is because I’m cheap and to save money as well (kind of like the main reason I am giving cloth diapering a shot)
AlwaysARedhead says
I used cloth diapers for all three of my children and loved using them. I had purchased enough of a well made cloth diaper, that I had no need to buy more. As for the cost related to breastfeeding, that didn’t cross my mind either, it was not part of my decision. My decision was made well before I even had three children, I just didn’t want too. The desire was not there, though the desire to have babies was and if I could do it all over/have a fourth I would and wouldn’t change the way I did anything.
Paula says
that’s awesome that you were able to use the same ones for all your kids! I had planned on doing that but Little Man wasn’t potty trained before Princess was born so I ended up having to buy more :P oh well.
Paula says
saving $ is definitely one of the BIG reasons I nurse my kids. Probably the biggest reason actually. I cloth diaper for the same reasons, and it’s really not as bad as you would think! Like AlwaysARedhead here I love it! Going into it I thought I’d be making a huge sacrifice to save the $ but I ended up preferring cloth to disposable diapers. I’ve blogged quite a bit about our experience with cloth too, if you need any help let me know. I’d love to help!!! (PS – I don’t think cloth is for every one, but it’s definitely way better, and easier than I was expecting!)
https://www.beautythroughimperfection.com/category/cloth-diapers/
JennyAlis says
I breast fed all three of my daughters. The first was 5 weeks premature. We had a lot of problems for the duration of the first month. She had a poor suck, her root was basically nonexistent, and she had a small mouth that would not latch. We figured it out, primarily through my persistence. I was too tired to think about any other way to feed her. She nursed for 8 months. My next daughter had zero problems and nursed for a year. My third had a few minor difficulties, mostly with my sore, red, broken down, bruised nipples. She nursed just over 2 years. I loved nursing. I never felt like it was a burden. Yes, I was always the one to fix things. But I did so wherever we went. No big deal. I pumped regularly and froze the milk for future use. I was also a maternity nurse, for 20 years.
Here is the thing. In today’s society, Breast Feeding has become an intellectual endeavor. It is over thought, over documented, over politicized. Those who do not are shunned, yet those who do are provided less overall education and assistance. The decision to breast feed or not is a highly individual one. Unfortunately, many of the decisions are done to please a mother, mate, friend, Doctor/Midwife. Lactation Consultants are seen as “Crunchy Granola Hippie types” to be smirked at or sloughed off. Indeed, the nurses on the maternity ward resist and complain when having to engage in further Breast Feeding education.
Yet the mother who chooses to not Breast Feed is treated as an uneducated simpleton. She is regularly given a “night off” with the nursing staff watching and feeding baby all night. She is not offered any additional tips or tricks for bottle feeding, how to spot sensitivity/allergy to milk products, additional information for burping and constipation.
All in all, it is entirely the woman’s choice. However, their choice needs to be made with accurate and complete information so they can make a good decision. One that will fit in with their particular life, their own personal comfort levels, their personal medical needs and the like.
Writer Mom says
Paula, thank you for this honest post. I know someone right now who is in need of your story. I’m so glad that you are able to weigh the pros and cons of nursing your babies. Moms sacrifice and you are a testament of that! We moms can give you all the advice in the world, but only the Lord can really cure you of this feeling. I will pray that He soften your heart in this issue. Thank you for sharing your story, so sweet. Stopping by from Wednesday Link Up.
Mrs. Price says
I could have written this post. I have always dislike nursing. Not a big fan of being pregnant either. But I love my boys. I especially understand the stop touching me. It made me giggle. But I am willing to nurse for the benefits of my boys. I have 2 weaned and one on the way. :)
A Little R & R says
I looooooooooved nursing and was so sad when I had to wean my youngest. He used me as a human binkey through the night, but got angry when food came out because he wasn’t hungry. Needless to say, this resulted in endless sleepless nights for both of us…and after a month of that I decided to wean. I nursed both of mine for 12 months each and was sad that it ended. But each mother finds it a different experience – it’s not the same for everyone. I WILL say, that something that is so natural doesn’t not usually come naturally. At first it is hard, both mother and baby have to LEARN to do this “natural” thing and it hurts like the dickens at first. (and with #2 I fought with mastitis the whole time – so it was painful most of the time for me). But, I wouldn’t trade those moments for all the gold in the world. :)
Crystal & Co says
A very candid post. Love your honesty.
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Darby Dugger says
Just found this post while looking at your “writing portfolio” tab. I’m a little late to the conversation, but I must say I appreciated this post so very much. I have four children and I have disliked breastfeeding every. single. one. I struggle with Mastitis and have had it 11 times between all four babies. Every time I “let down” I feel like I am going to vomit. It is rough all around for me… I do it… but I don’t enjoy it despite my prayers to help me enjoy it. I find it really hard to relate to women who treasure it because I’m counting down the days until I’m finished. Ha.
Tasha @ Thirty-one:10 says
It is ALL on us breastfeeding mommas!
We are compiling resources for mommas-to-be and breastfeeding mommas. Come link up your favorite relevant posts: thirty-one10.com/motherhood/milking-it-you-want-me-to-do-what-to-my-boobs/
Thanks for sharing this!
Tara Nicole says
THANK YOU for your honesty. Nursing came relatively easy for us, once we figured out the latch (within the first 10 days). After fighting infertility for 3+ years, I swore I would love every minute of everything. But I’m still human. And while I love nursing the majority of the time, there are those nursing sessions where I have to force myself through them. It’s hard to admit it sometimes!
Jacqui says
oh my gosh! This is so refreshing to hear. I have a 10.5 month old and 6 weeks after her birth, we were surprised with our now 3 week old. I never thought I would be good at motherhood but our first bub has been a breeze and our second whilst a bit colicy is also pretty good. Breastfeeding surprisingly is a complete breeze, no pain, enough milk to feed a small
Country – blah blah blah! On the flipside I had hyperamisis in my pregnancies and I just didn’t enjoy being pregnant and now I really don’t enjoy breastfeeding, I’m looking for every excuse not to do it but overwhelmed with guilt just for thinking about stopping.
I don’t take it for granted my poor sister had no end of
Problems and she is far more maternal than I.
My reasons are the same as yours but nit only that after not owning my own body for over 20 months now I really just want to be able to buy clothes I like, feel myself again and not be leaking milk everywhere hahaha. Im still bf and will continue to do so for awhile longer but definitely not a year. I sound incredibly selfish I know, I would do anything for my babies, but seriously no matter when we stop bf we are overwhelmed with guilt but most of us weren’t actually bf ourselves.
That’s my rant thanks for listening nice to know I’m not the only one!
Paula says
so glad you are encouraged! and you are DEFINITELY not the only one :)
The way I look at it is this. Yes it is good for the baby (and you) to keep nursing. BUT if it is stressing you out and worrying you, at some point it will be best for you and the baby for you to stop so that you can be a happier, less stressed out mom! You and your dr. are the only ones who can say when that right time is. but don’t let yourself feel guilty when it comes :)
Jojo says
So glad to read this! I have a two year old that i bf for 13 months and loved it as my LO and I could sit there all day just enjoying each others special time in peace and silence. Now with our second one, I hate it purely because I never get a break from my toddler to do it in peace. Also bf this time, I know a selfish but it take more of what little free time I get to myself. Oh and also my second can’t standing anything I love to stress eat on, milk, chocolate, pop, chip, fast food. So if I decide to enjoy a treat I pay for it for two days. I too am trying to find any excuse to stop.
Like others though i feel so bad about wanting to stop. I feel like my second is not getting as much dedication from me as the first did so I am still doing it. Also bf does help me lose weight, it is cheaper and better for my kid but i sure do Loath it.
Catie says
Glad to hear of someone else who doesn’t enjoy it. I HATE nursing. It’s painful for me, and I have ended up pumping for both of my kids. I only have done it for 3 or 4 months for both. I don’t plan on doing it long with my baby on the way either- it just doesn’t go well for me
Lee Cockrum says
I was never able to get pregnant, so I don’t have any breast feeding knowledge. It is a part of being a mother that I desparately wanted to experience. I’m also not organized, so I loved the idea of not having to deal with formula and bottles!!
Anna says
You have kind of summed up what being a parent is. And it never ends. Mine are grown and there are still things I would rather not do, but that are important to the relationship. Breastfeeding is about what is best for the baby and that is the moment you become a real parent–when you do what is best for them rather than best for you. You are going to have lots more normal things that you won’t like–tantrums, possible learning disabilities, parent teacher conferences, throwing up all night, messes all over the house, immunizations, kids wanting to do things before you think they are ready, and I have not even started on the teens. You have made a lifelong commitment to both the joy and the stress that comes with the decision. There is no endpoint. The good thing is that you love them more than life itself which makes you willing to give up your desires to put their best needs first.
Nicole B says
Thank you for your honesty! So many moms act high and mighty and put down those that choose to not or stop breastfeeding. I had a lot of anxiety and a bad experience with BF’ing. I leaked all the time. I didn’t want my husband touching me. I felt like a cow. The demand was so exhausting I literally could not keep up… It was very hard on me. I BF for 4 months and stopped. Best decision for ME and my baby!