My son is 18 months old and EXTREMELY vocal. We’ve been working with him for months, encouraging him to “use his words” instead of fussing, he’s doing great with that, but I’m still amazed at the number of words he can use. I can’t keep track, but I would say he knows and regularly uses over 80 words at this point. He’s consistently saying “thank you” and there are a couple other little 2-word phrases he uses.
With all those words, he does not say “I love you.” He has said it one time, about a month ago, but that was it. Has not said it again since. This boy is told dozens of times every day that he’s loved. I tell him all the time. When my hubby comes home he tells him too! He’s around his grandparents a lot and they are always saying how much they love him. He probably hears those 3 words said to him more than any others (except maybe “no no”). But doesn’t mimic it.
After thinking about it, my guess is he doesn’t say it because it has no meaning for him. He uses words related to what he’s doing and seeing. But ‘love’ is not a word that he has felt he needed to say yet. He is shown love, and he shows his own love for us, but he doesn’t talk about it.
I’m all for saying “I love you” but it has been interesting to note that even though my son doesn’t use those words he still feels loved and shows his love extremely effectively.
He shows love in many ways, he gives hugs, his face lights up when some one he loves walks in the room. He snuggles, he loves to share his food and toys with people, he tells me I’m “pretty pretty” when I dress up and says “thank you” when some one gives him something.
He receives love by being snuggled, played with and cared for. He is a really happy and loving kid but those three words “I love you” have so far been useless to him.
All of this got me thinking about my marriage… Do I tell my hubby I love him, more than I show him that I do. Even if I didn’t say those three words, would he know that I love him still and feel just as loved/cared for by me? I think that mostly the answer is yes… but I’m endeavoring over the next week to be more intentional about SHOWING my love for people. Especially my hubby. I’m not going to stop telling him I love him, (I think saying it is really important too!) but by the end of each day I want to have SHOWN him that I love him in so many ways that saying it will just be “icing on the cake” ;) (and every body loves cake!)
I don’t think it will ever cease to amaze me how much I learn from my little son. He’s so small, and so naïve, but he teaches me so much!
Question for you: What ways do you show your hubby/family that you love them without using those 3 words? Let’s get creative together!!!
Kate @ Teaching What Is Good says
Sweet! Verbal affirmation can be so difficult for us sometimes. My day only told my mom that he loved her about 7 times in their 49 years of marriage. But he SHOWED her hundreds of times each day. But I want to LIVE and SPEAK my love to my husband and my children.
Thanks for the encouragement to do it! And thanks for linking up again this week! I love reading your stories about your family!
Christy @ Raising Knights says
My now 2yo also had a large vocabulary at about the same age, adding new words every day, but never saying “love you”. He would repeat everything else you would say to him, but not that until he was close to two. Now, of course, he loves to say “love you much!” Sweet toddler love! :)
With a husband and five sons, one of the best ways to show my love is through good home cooking and baking. Another way is to simply do things for them that they normally are expected to do for themselves, like cleaning their room. We also use the hand sign for “I love you” when we are leaving each other.
Kate @ Teaching What Is Good says
I’m writing to let you know that I have awarded you the Liebster Award for wonderful blogs that have under 200 followers. I’m posting about it in the morning and you can find it at: http://teachingwhatisgood.com/ive-been-awarded/
Love and hugs,
Fo my son, the best way to show my love is to cook of him, followed second by cleaning his room without a lecture!
Thanks for this post~ I will remember to cook him something special and tidy a portion of his room tonight (without a lecture!).