Before I had any kids a “fun & relaxing” day would be spent with my hubby, we would hang out all day playing board games or watching tv and we would end the day by going out to dinner together.
Now, I consider anything fun, as long as my son is having fun. The other day I spent a majority of the day following him around outside as he explored a huge field, played in the dirt etc. Normally, walking around a field would not be my idea of a “fun” day, but at the end of the day I realized that I had had a really enjoyable, and relaxing day just exploring and hanging out with my son and watching him learn and play.
I realized that this shift of expectations is coming more and more naturally to me as I grow in my mommy hood. When my boy was younger I would have had to tell myself that it was a good day. Convince myself that I was having fun even though I’d rather be doing something else. Now, I expect my days to be slower, doing less than I would have before I had a baby. Doing less things that are just for “me”. I’m blessed that I get 2 hours to myself int he middle of the day while he naps, that’s my “me” time, and even if I don’t get any more time during the day to do what I want to do, I’m usually content with that.
- I have stopped expecting to make it through a meal without my son demanding “bites” of whatever I’m having (even if he has the same thing on his plate.)
- I have stopped expecting my son (and the floor) to make it through a meal and remain clean. – 99% of the time everything is a mess after meal time, and that’s ok, I expect it and make sure I have time to deal with that before we’re rushing off to a new activity.
- I have stopped expecting to be able to just “run in and out really quick” at a store, instead we take our time and explore different things, and probably sing a few songs down some of the isles.
- I have stopped expecting every day to be a day full of romance and me and my hubby spending quality time together. (we are both tired by the time he gets off work these days, so we don’t play games or go on dates as often… BUT it has made our time together that much sweeter!)
- I have stopped expecting my kid not to throw a random tantrum in public. We’re working on it, but it still happens, and me realizing that it’s a possibility at ANY moment and for ANY reason helps me to be a lot more patient with him as I deal with it.
I’ve started planning on messes, planning on tantrums and tears, planning on pit stops to look at rocks or touch things in stores etc. I plan on getting dirty during the day, and I plan on sharing my food (and make my serving sizes accordingly!). I plan on being delayed every where I go because little man wants to walk at his own speed, and doesn’t understand the concept of being in a hurry. I’m ready for these things to happen, I make sure we have enough time when we leave the house for the day for any/all of those things to occur before we get home.
Because of this I’m (usually) not flustered or thrown off when any or all of these things happen and I’m able to deal with whatever is going on much more patiently than when I was expecting life to occur the same way it did before baby. Becoming a mommy really does change everything. Some changes are more fun than others, but I’m learning that a shift in expectations really can make all the difference.
Have your expectations about your daily life changed since becoming mother? Is it something you are still working on? What tricks and tips do you have about changing the way you view your days that has helped you in your motherhood?