The One Thing Good Moms Refuse To Admit

So often, as moms we make jokes about what a poor job we must be doing raising our kids.

Whether it’s the sarcastic laments that the “mother of the year award” must be passing us by after we’ve just messed something up or the memes about “just trying to keep the kids alive”, we’re pretty quick to make a joke at our own expense.

Good moms refuse to admit

I make those jokes too, and I laugh at them, but I would like to go on record saying I think I’m a good mom, and I bet, if you were honest with yourself, you’d think the same about your own parenting skills.

Yes, we’re imperfect. I mean, you all know that my children frequently eat things like this, that I RARELY clean my kid’s room, that I totally compare my kids to other kids their age and I grin (with relief) when I see other misbehaving toddlers in public.

I am far from being the perfect mom. But, really, I’m far from being a terrible mother too.

That’s the whole point of this series, to remind all of us that we don’t have to be perfect to be awesome mamas to our kids. That we can make mistakes, and do things different than “the norm” and still be fantastic parents to our own children.

So don’t be afraid to admit it. You are a good mom. Say it loud, say it proud. As loudly as you would say “I guess the mother of the year award is passing by my house this year” or “I must be the worst mother ever because…”

Be honest with yourself. Remember your good days, not just your mistakes. Rememeber the time you made cookies with your kids or spun in circles until you almost threw up. And if it’s been awhile since you’ve had some silly fun with your kids, don’t feel guilty about it, just  schedule something fun for this afternoon. Even if it’s just an impromptu dance party in the living room. Make the smile, laugh with them, that’s all that it takes.

Most importantly remember…

You are an awesome mom.

Admit it to yourself and don’t be afraid to believe it.

You are rocking this. And I’m almost positive you deserve more credit than what you have been giving yourself.

Don’t be afraid to be a good mom. Because you already are. Just accept it.

I know there are a lot of good moms reading this right now, so I’m going to ask you to be brave, and leave a comment admitting it. No disclaimers, not self-deprecating jokes, just tell me you are a good mom to your kids, how old your lucky little ones are, and something fun you’ve done recently together.

It doesn’t have to be amazing or pinterest worthy. The most precious memories are oftentimes the simplest.

Just take a moment to remind yourself, and then share it with the world. You totally deserve that.

Thanks for reading
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Young wife, mama, author, blogger, encourager, friend. Lover of hot weather, chocolate, watching my kids giggle and encouraging people.

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Comments

  1. Sarah Rogers says:

    Lol, okay, deep breath… My name’s Sarah and I’m a good mum to my boys (3 and a half and 21months) – yesterday we went on a train ride to the next village, bought a sticky bun in the café and came back on the next train… Two happy boys! Thanks, Paula, feeling better already! X

  2. Yes! I am an awesome mum if I may say so myself :-)… Not perfect but definitely awesome.
    Hmmm….doing away with ” false modesty” can be such a beautiful thing!

  3. Yay! I’m a good mum! Actually, I found this quite hard to type. And yes I did make a joke about failing to win mother of the year award on Monday morning upon leaving the house for school when I realised that the kids coats were still wet in the washing machine having been thrown in after our muddy Sunday afternoon walk and promptly forgotten about!
    Thanks for such an encouraging word, Paula about standing up and saying we’re good as much as we come out with those self-deprecating jokes.
    Blessings
    Mel from Essential Thing Devotions

  4. I am a good mom – by the grace of Jesus Christ! :) Last night I crawled out of bed approx 397 times for my grumpy, teething baby… and then I got up and made them each a healthy, balanced breakfast at 7 am. Eggs, toast, kiwi, bacon, juice. ;)
    Thanks for the reminder to stop name-calling ourselves. We give each other grace, but not always ourselves.

  5. I am a good mother to my seven children. They range in age from 2 to 12. I recently spent the whole day cooking with them, and even though the kitchen and the kids were beyond dirty afterwards, they had fun. I had fun. Thanks for affirming all mothers today. We are truly blessed!

  6. I am a great step-mom. Even though I’m not all that valued from the world’s perspective, I can’t imagine anyone who would shower more love and be a more caring stepmother than I am for my husband’s two girls, 11 and almost 8. I can’t wait to throw a sleepover birthday party tomorrow night… I’ve been planning and making all sorts of things for a month! I have to stop saying “Well, I’m just the stepmom…” and start saying, “Yeah! I’m their stepmom!”

  7. I’m changing my thinking starting now! Thank you for this post.

    Next time the “I’m a bad mom” feeling creeps up (probably in about 5 minutes), I will remember this: “I am far from being the perfect mom. But, really, I’m far from being a terrible mother too.”

  8. I am a GOOD MOM. When I typed that I also tried to think of a great example of how awesome I am, but I could only think of ways I am failing or mediocre tasks that I’ve done. BUT I’M REFUSING THOSE THOUGHTS. I am a good mom because today I am letting my kids take ownership of cleaning their room and bathroom, and letting myself rest for a bit. I am a good mom because I took the kids on an errand and said “no” to them wanting things they shouldn’t have, and said “yes” to more reasonable requests. I am a good mom because I know I yell too much, and I’m trying very hard to not yell so much. I am a good mom because I sat through 3 episodes of Blue’s Clues today, even though I’ve seen every episode at least a dozen times already.

  9. My name is Theresa and I am a good mom. My children are 31 and 28. I am a good mom because I raised my kids in a normally dysfunctional home.
    See http://mthupp.wordpress.com//?s=normally+dysfunctional&search=Go for a funny story about our normally dysfunctional family.

  10. I love this so much & the message you sharing!! It’s something all us moms need to keep telling ourselves. I’m definitely going to share, bc our messages are so similar. :)

  11. I am a good mom because I read books with my kiddos. There, I said it!! Feels good!:)

  12. Siri spicer says:

    I am a good mom because I shower my girls with lots and lots of hugs. When they are feeling down they know where to come. :)

  13. It’s hard to admit or accept when you are doing a good job when you see what society says is “good”. I enjoyed reading this. I followed you from mommy moments :) glad I took the time to read your post, I’ll be gentle with myself today :) Have a great week!

  14. I have to join in on this because it is such a good idea and I love the positive message! It’s so true that we never want to say we are good moms. I think it is mostly due to not wanting to sound ‘better than’ or full of ourselves. But I think saying it out loud or even typing it like here, is so encouraging! Thanks so much for this post!

    I am a good mom. I have a 18 month old son and we love going to the park. He is super active and loves to be outside so we try to go everyday!

  15. Rachael D says:

    Yes!!! Great post :) We really have to learn to appreciate ourselves, as well as other Mamas around us…

  16. Lorrine Kush says:

    Thank you. We all down play our abilities as moms. Why? Especially when we are trying to teach our children to have self esteem and pride in their abilities, and we aren’t modelling it for them. I am mom to three kids, ages 6,3, and 22months. I am a good mom, because I let them splash in every puddle and squishy mud on our walk home yesterday. They had a blast and were thoroughly soaked.

  17. I’m a good mom. Darling Daughter is 10 (going on 14) and in 5th grade. I’m not ‘the permanent best’ anymore (that’s what she used to call me when she was much younger), but sometimes I’m still okay to be around. Right before spring break this year, she saw the issue of Martha Stewart Living with the French macarons on the cover and decided she wanted to make some since one of her school friends has been ooh-lah-lahing about French macarons since her parents took her to Paris two years ago. So we did. We didn’t have time to get them filled before DD left to spend a few days with her grandparents, but for a first effort at macarons, they came out remarkably well, and we had fun doing it.

  18. Thanks for this, Paula! You are right that we are too hard on ourselves. Thanks for the reminder! I am a good mom. Why, just yesterday, I put together an impromptu scavenger hunt for my kids that involved chocolate and praising Jesus! :)

  19. My name is Rachel and I am a good mom. I have an 11 month old, 2 year old and 3 year old foster children. I take them to the park and play with them almost every day.

  20. Oh my…I try my very best to be a good mother. Okay, I AM a good mother. That is so very hard to say sometimes! LOL I have Evie (seven), Dominic (nearly five), and Little One (4 months gestation and growing). We’ve just decided to give homeschooling a whirl next year and we’re making small adjustments in preparation. Just a few minutes ago, the kids and I hauled a lightweight bookshelf and beanbag chairs out to build a reading nook. :) It’s not perfect, but both kids spent (a record) 15 minutes coloring, reading, and not fighting within 3 foot of each other. I call that serious success!

  21. Margaret says:

    I’m a Good MoM !! :) I Love my 6 month old son. Wev been practicing sitting an enjoying going for walks outside together :)

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