“Looks like the mom-of-the-year award will be passing me by again this year.”
“I’m just trying to make it through the day and keep the kids alive.”
How many times have you heard people make these jokes? Or maybe you’ve said them yourself. I know I have!
As moms, we’re pretty quick to make a joke at our own expense. Sometimes, it seems to lessen the sting of mommy guilt that so easily overwhelms.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with joking. I love a good joke and I’ll never stop giggling at those funny memes that come across facebook.
But there is one thing I notice none of my mom friends doing. None of us give ourselves credit for being a great mom.
How often do you hear a friend say I’m a good mom! Probably never.
How often do you say it yourself, even if only privately and in your own mind?
Dear mamas, this has to change. I want each of us to have the ability to look at ourselves, even on the hardest of days and realize what amazing mothers we are.
You, precious mama love your children so fiercely. You sacrifice sleep, comfort and so much more just to take care of them, and show them they are loved.
You give of yourself so freely, and yet instead of realizing how wonderful you are or seeing yourself through the adoring eyes of your children, you worry that it’s not enough.
You see your imperfections instead of your beauty.
I’ll be the first to tell you I’m an imperfect mom. I mean, you all know that my children frequently eat things like this, that I RARELY clean my kid’s room, that I totally compare my kids to other kids their age and I grin (with relief) when I see other misbehaving toddlers in public.
I am far from being the perfect mom. But, really, I’m far from being a terrible mother too.
That’s the whole point of this series, to remind all of us that we don’t have to be perfect to be awesome mamas to our kids. That we can make mistakes, and do things different than “the norm” and still be fantastic parents to our own children.
So don’t be afraid to admit it. You are a good mom. Say it loud, say it proud. As loudly as you would say “I guess the mother of the year award is passing by my house this year” or “I must be the worst mother ever because…”
Be honest with yourself. Remember your good days, not just your mistakes. Remember the time you made cookies with your kids or spun in circles until you almost threw up. And if it’s been awhile since you’ve had some silly fun with your kids, don’t feel guilty about it, just schedule something fun for this afternoon. Even if it’s just an impromptu dance party in the living room. Make the smile, laugh with them, that’s all that it takes.
Most importantly remember…
You are an awesome mom.
Admit it to yourself and don’t be afraid to believe it.
You are rocking this. And I’m almost positive you deserve more credit than what you have been giving yourself.
Don’t be afraid to be a good mom. Because you already are. Just accept it.
I know there are a lot of good moms reading this right now, so I’m going to ask you to be brave, and leave a comment admitting it. No disclaimers, not self-deprecating jokes, just tell me you are a good mom to your kids, how old your lucky little ones are, and something fun you’ve done recently together.
It doesn’t have to be amazing or pinterest worthy. The most precious memories are oftentimes the simplest.
Just take a moment to remind yourself, and then share it with the world. You totally deserve that.
I have a special present for you, to show you how much I think you are amazing. Subscribe below to get free weekly emails about real-life motherhood in the midst of the stickiness, the challenges and the imperfections. AND I’ll also send you a free digital copy of one of my books, Confessions of an Imperfect Mother. I’d love for you to have it, to laugh and cry along with me at the joys and difficulties of motherhood!
Sarah Rogers says
Lol, okay, deep breath… My name’s Sarah and I’m a good mum to my boys (3 and a half and 21months) – yesterday we went on a train ride to the next village, bought a sticky bun in the café and came back on the next train… Two happy boys! Thanks, Paula, feeling better already! X
Paula says
That’s awesome!!! My son would LOVE a train ride! :) Sounds amazing!
Tamkara says
Yes! I am an awesome mum if I may say so myself :-)… Not perfect but definitely awesome.
Hmmm….doing away with ” false modesty” can be such a beautiful thing!
Paula says
Yeah! :)
Mel Caldicott says
Yay! I’m a good mum! Actually, I found this quite hard to type. And yes I did make a joke about failing to win mother of the year award on Monday morning upon leaving the house for school when I realised that the kids coats were still wet in the washing machine having been thrown in after our muddy Sunday afternoon walk and promptly forgotten about!
Thanks for such an encouraging word, Paula about standing up and saying we’re good as much as we come out with those self-deprecating jokes.
Blessings
Mel from Essential Thing Devotions
Paula says
yay Mel!!!! :) You DEFINITELY are a good mum!
Kay (A Ranch Mom) says
I am a good mom – by the grace of Jesus Christ! :) Last night I crawled out of bed approx 397 times for my grumpy, teething baby… and then I got up and made them each a healthy, balanced breakfast at 7 am. Eggs, toast, kiwi, bacon, juice. ;)
Thanks for the reminder to stop name-calling ourselves. We give each other grace, but not always ourselves.
Paula says
That’s awesome!!!
Ally says
I am a good mother to my seven children. They range in age from 2 to 12. I recently spent the whole day cooking with them, and even though the kitchen and the kids were beyond dirty afterwards, they had fun. I had fun. Thanks for affirming all mothers today. We are truly blessed!
Paula says
That sounds like fun!!! :)
Grace says
I am a great step-mom. Even though I’m not all that valued from the world’s perspective, I can’t imagine anyone who would shower more love and be a more caring stepmother than I am for my husband’s two girls, 11 and almost 8. I can’t wait to throw a sleepover birthday party tomorrow night… I’ve been planning and making all sorts of things for a month! I have to stop saying “Well, I’m just the stepmom…” and start saying, “Yeah! I’m their stepmom!”
Paula says
Yeah! that’s awesome grace! :D
Diana Shirley says
Don’t be so hard on yourself, step parents are awesome. It sounds like you have a lot of fun planning special things for them! Trust me one day they will realize exactly how much they are loved by you and they will appreciate it a whole lot! You are never just a srep parent especially when someone puts forth as much effort and caring as you do!
Amy @ {Life to the Full} says
I’m changing my thinking starting now! Thank you for this post.
Next time the “I’m a bad mom” feeling creeps up (probably in about 5 minutes), I will remember this: “I am far from being the perfect mom. But, really, I’m far from being a terrible mother too.”
Paula says
yay! :)
Hannah says
I am a GOOD MOM. When I typed that I also tried to think of a great example of how awesome I am, but I could only think of ways I am failing or mediocre tasks that I’ve done. BUT I’M REFUSING THOSE THOUGHTS. I am a good mom because today I am letting my kids take ownership of cleaning their room and bathroom, and letting myself rest for a bit. I am a good mom because I took the kids on an errand and said “no” to them wanting things they shouldn’t have, and said “yes” to more reasonable requests. I am a good mom because I know I yell too much, and I’m trying very hard to not yell so much. I am a good mom because I sat through 3 episodes of Blue’s Clues today, even though I’ve seen every episode at least a dozen times already.
Theresa says
My name is Theresa and I am a good mom. My children are 31 and 28. I am a good mom because I raised my kids in a normally dysfunctional home.
See http://mthupp.wordpress.com//?s=normally+dysfunctional&search=Go for a funny story about our normally dysfunctional family.
Charity Craig says
I love this so much & the message you sharing!! It’s something all us moms need to keep telling ourselves. I’m definitely going to share, bc our messages are so similar. :)
Charity Craig says
BTW, I found you on SITSsharefest. :)
Jennifer-Mommy Life After Ph.D. says
I am a good mom because I read books with my kiddos. There, I said it!! Feels good!:)
Siri spicer says
I am a good mom because I shower my girls with lots and lots of hugs. When they are feeling down they know where to come. :)
Debbie @ Heartbeats Soul Stains says
It’s hard to admit or accept when you are doing a good job when you see what society says is “good”. I enjoyed reading this. I followed you from mommy moments :) glad I took the time to read your post, I’ll be gentle with myself today :) Have a great week!
Julia says
I have to join in on this because it is such a good idea and I love the positive message! It’s so true that we never want to say we are good moms. I think it is mostly due to not wanting to sound ‘better than’ or full of ourselves. But I think saying it out loud or even typing it like here, is so encouraging! Thanks so much for this post!
I am a good mom. I have a 18 month old son and we love going to the park. He is super active and loves to be outside so we try to go everyday!
Rachael D says
Yes!!! Great post :) We really have to learn to appreciate ourselves, as well as other Mamas around us…
Lorrine Kush says
Thank you. We all down play our abilities as moms. Why? Especially when we are trying to teach our children to have self esteem and pride in their abilities, and we aren’t modelling it for them. I am mom to three kids, ages 6,3, and 22months. I am a good mom, because I let them splash in every puddle and squishy mud on our walk home yesterday. They had a blast and were thoroughly soaked.
Susie Sward says
I’m a good mom. Darling Daughter is 10 (going on 14) and in 5th grade. I’m not ‘the permanent best’ anymore (that’s what she used to call me when she was much younger), but sometimes I’m still okay to be around. Right before spring break this year, she saw the issue of Martha Stewart Living with the French macarons on the cover and decided she wanted to make some since one of her school friends has been ooh-lah-lahing about French macarons since her parents took her to Paris two years ago. So we did. We didn’t have time to get them filled before DD left to spend a few days with her grandparents, but for a first effort at macarons, they came out remarkably well, and we had fun doing it.
Tina at Mommynificent says
Thanks for this, Paula! You are right that we are too hard on ourselves. Thanks for the reminder! I am a good mom. Why, just yesterday, I put together an impromptu scavenger hunt for my kids that involved chocolate and praising Jesus! :)
Rachel @ Wife, Then Mama says
My name is Rachel and I am a good mom. I have an 11 month old, 2 year old and 3 year old foster children. I take them to the park and play with them almost every day.
Jessi says
Oh my…I try my very best to be a good mother. Okay, I AM a good mother. That is so very hard to say sometimes! LOL I have Evie (seven), Dominic (nearly five), and Little One (4 months gestation and growing). We’ve just decided to give homeschooling a whirl next year and we’re making small adjustments in preparation. Just a few minutes ago, the kids and I hauled a lightweight bookshelf and beanbag chairs out to build a reading nook. :) It’s not perfect, but both kids spent (a record) 15 minutes coloring, reading, and not fighting within 3 foot of each other. I call that serious success!
Margaret says
I’m a Good MoM !! :) I Love my 6 month old son. Wev been practicing sitting an enjoying going for walks outside together :)
Catlyn Paxson says
Im an awesome mom. My daughter is 3 & my son is 2 months. We went to target and it was right next to train tracks and we watch the train go by. Then we went to chik fil a and she played in the play area. She was so excited for the train. Tomorrow we are going to Disney world epcot.
Casey Ste. Croix says
Hi, I’m Casey and I am a good mom to my 15 month old. Today he saw our hiking pack in the closet we’ve named Narnia and would be be content until I pulled it out. He then proceeded to try to climb into it. So, in my shorts and flip flops, I loaded him up, strapped him on and walked around the block in the hot Hawaii afternoon son. He loved every short minute. Thanks for sharing this. I really needed it.