Did you see the story floating around about the stranger who paid for a mom’s meal because she was breastfeeding in the restaurant? At first glance, it seems like this is awesome. Finally, some one not being harassed for nursing in public. Instead, she’s supported for feeding her baby.
I am always, always for supporting moms.
The thing that has me scratching my head here is – why is this such a big deal?
I nursed both of my children. I made it to a year with one and nine months with the other. But I don’t need applause for breastfeeding. I’m not looking for anyone to recognize me for feeding my kid. I’m a mom. That’s what we do.
Be it through bottles or breasts, we feed our kids. I can’t help but think that if the same mom had been sitting in a corner feeding her little one with a bottle, she wouldn’t have gotten a free meal that day.
And let’s be real, there are challenges and sacrifices that are made regardless of how you feed your kiddo.
There is much to be said about the normalizing of breastfeeding. I for sure want women to feel empowered to be able to do it if they so choose, but it’s not a contest. You aren’t more of a mom for breastfeeding or a lesser one for taking the bottle route.
In fact, a mom who chooses formula could probably use a free meal more than a breastfeeding mom since breastmilk is free and formula is crazy amounts of expensive.
I just don’t get it. All these lines in the sand. All these “thank yous” for doing something ordinary, in an attempt to make it seem more normal.
I can’t see how “nurse-ins” (the cute term for nursing protests) are making this regular thing of feeding your child seem anything less than weird.
Yes, let’s support and encourage moms. Sure, nursing moms made need some encouragement not to quit. But I don’t like the way it can discount the challenges that come with formula feeding. Like formula moms aren’t allowed to have a hard time or don’t deserve to be recognized for the sacrifices they are making for their babies as well.
What do you think? Is breastfeeding normal enough? Do you think that mom deserved a free meal for nursing in public, or was she just doing a regular thing? Share in the comments!
Lauren Tamm says
I always really enjoy your motherhood posts, Paula. This is great. I definitely don’t think any mom needs an applause for breastfeeding, but I do think a little encouragement for all moms is incredibly helpful. Some days I just want to walk up to a mom that I don’t even know and say, “You’re doing an amazing job.”
rebekha says
Good article.
I don’t know what to say when someone says I’m doing great to be breastfeeding. It is odd. As you say, I’m a mum.
I feel I need to downplay the problems I had initially as everyone assumes you would only continue breastfeeding if it were easy, right?
The applause started around 8 or 9 months which seemed like no time to me on the breastfeeding journey. I had always planned to go to 1 if I could.
But one came and neither of us were ready so on we go into the next year.
I’m wondering what age the applause stops and the judgment for feeding til too old begins.
Breastfeeding a toddler in public is probably not appalled as much as an infant
Katelyn Fagan says
I left a different comment on the Facebook thread, but I just don’t know why you are choosing to read so much into this! My family has been blessed by strangers kindness, just because “we looked like a nice family.” A lady had chosen to pay it forward by paying for our entire Walmart purchase. It was very emotional because of all the other things going on in our life at the time, and the gesture meant so much.
So, if someone wants to pay it forward, why are we second guessing them? They paid it forward!! They are doing something kind for someone else. They are the welcome voice admist the anti-breastfeeders. But, who’s to say that someone else out there isn’t paying for a meal for a family that did feed their baby with a bottle at the table, simply because they think “they looked like a great family.” Or even because they remember how expensive formula was when they were feeding their child.
I think we should let good deeds be good deeds. Period. The woman did it to support and encourage a stranger, not to make a huge, public, political statement. No one knows her name. Her story was shared by the recipient as a way to show her gratitude.