Remember that “dear mom on the iphone” letter that went viral a year or so ago? It seems to be making it’s rounds on the internet once again, sparking much discussion, debate and even backlash as the open letters of support for the mom on the phone come out.
It’s amazing, how one little post can inspire such emotion in mothers everywhere. Some were encouraged to put down their phones and spend more time with their kids. Others were made to feel guilty for no good reason and still more were inspired to encourage other moms that we don’t have to watch every last millisecond of our children’s lives.
Incredible, that one little post can spark all of that.
I wanted to weigh in today, on this whole iphone debate and really, every other mothering debate that has gone viral online:
Dear Moms, with and without phones,
I see you over there, worrying about if your parenting skills are measuring up to those of the moms around you. Sometimes you see another mama doing something you disagree with, and you feel justified in your own worth as a mom. Other times, you see those moms who seem way more engaged with their kids than you ever could be and you feel unworthy.
Motherhood is hard, we’re all doing the best we can and we all feel like we aren’t measuring up. So my dear fellow mamas, let’s stop looking outward to measure our worth. Let’s quit looking at one another to see who is spending more time online, or blogging, or instagraming or pinning. Let’s end the worries about coming off as a better mom than the one two park benches over and start looking to our kids to see how we’re measuring up.
Do they know that they are loved? Are they learning and growing at a speed that’s right for them (even if it’s different than the speed of the child on the next park swing)? Are we loving them in the best ways that we know how? Are we making mistakes, but learning from them and teaching through them? Yeah, I’m willing to bet they are, and we are. Us moms and kids, we’re learning and growing together.
My parenting might look different than yours, but my kids are loved. So are yours.
You might catch me at a moment of weakness, or you may never see me break down in public. We all have handle our struggles differently, but let’s stop encouraging ourselves with the mistakes that we deem another to be making. We’re better than that, mamas.
The fact of the matter is, you are doing a good job. I’m doing a good job. Phones or no phones. Whatever decisions we’re making for our kids, make them out of love, and I think we’ll all end up okay.
So dear every one, can we just stop comparing? Stop judging one another? Stop trying to justify our own insecurities by shining a spotlight on another (even imaginary) mother? The truth is, most mommy wars would cease to exist if we merely stopped looking at one another to see how we’re measuring up, and started looking at our kids and seeing how wonderfully we are love them.
The thing is, our worth as mothers is not measured up against the successes and failures of another mom. Our success as a mother is measured in love, and although we may parent differently, all of our love meters are overflowing.
Love looks different in every family and in every child. But it’s what matters most.
More than a phone, or a birthing method, or what you might have for lunch that day, or where your child goes to school. Those are all important choices, but they mean nothing without love.
Let’s remember to love. And let everything else go.
Another mama (who is sometimes on her iphone, and sometimes not)