New moms are always told to enjoy every minute. I know for myself, and every mom I’ve met, this is seemingly impossible. I can understand the sentiment “enjoy it, it goes by so fast”, because I’m starting to see just how quickly time seems to pass by, when kids are involved. Time is flying and that kind of freaks me out.
It’s slowly sinking in that I’m reaching the end of this stage of motherhood and I will soon be baby-less My daughter is fast approaching her first birthday and I’m expecting to see her take her first steps at any moment. Such a surreal feeling, realizing that she is growing up so quickly right before my eyes.
It’s bitter-sweet. Bitter, because I know I have limited days of rocking babies, and cuddling little ones. I already miss the “new baby” smell and the tired sort of joy that comes during those first few days and weeks of life with a newborn.
Sweet, because I’m excited for the new stage of motherhood that I’m entering. I’ll soon have two toddlers on my hands, and while that is an entirely intimidating thought, I’m also thrilled about it. I anticipate more chaos, more laughter and a whole lot more tantrums in our futures, and I can’t wait! (well, I could wait on the tantrums, but you know what I mean)
It is strange to think that soon, I will be done with bottle feeding, and even spoon-feeding my kids. I won’t be making baby food anymore, I will be able to have conversations with both of my kids, and listen as they talk to each other. They will be able to (safely) play with each other for longer periods of time, and I won’t be carrying a baby with me everywhere I go. My hands will still be full, but my arms will be quite empty.
As I take moment to remember, and reflect on the past few years I can honestly say that I did not enjoy it all. There are minutes, hours days and even weeks of motherhood that I did not enjoy. And while that may be a statement that seems to be laced with regret, it is not. Motherhood in itself is a bittersweet task and the hardest thing I’ve ever attempted. I find no shame is saying that I haven’t enjoyed all of it.
As I think back on this baby-stage that is rapidly coming to an end I remember the pains and the fears that overtook me at first. I recall the feelings of inadequacy, and the feelings of joy. I remember being terrified and thrilled. I’m reminded of my depression, and all the times I wondered if I could make it through another day and how I always did make it through even when I thought I couldn’t.
But with all of this, the good and the bad, I don’t regret being unable to enjoy every minute. Motherhood is hard, and I’m learning to stop worrying about enjoying every minute, so that I can start enjoying the journey. I find peace in things that once troubled me, because I learned from them, and I’m able now, to see God’s grace working through each of my shortcomings and fears. The hard days, and every mistake I’ve made, they are all part of this beautiful, sometimes broken, journey of motherhood.
While I still can’t enjoy everything while I’m in the moment, I’m able to look back and smile at each piece that has shaped me as a mama, even those rough and jagged pieces that were so hard to endure. The hard times still come and go, but seeing how God has guided me through the rough patches thus far on the journey, gives me hope fot he hard days to come.
No, I don’t enjoy every minute, I’m still not sure that it’s even possible to enjoy it all. But I am enjoying the journey as I learn to trust the One that guides us on our way.
What about you? What’s your perspective on “enjoying every moment?
Randomly Fascinated says
I find that saying to be a little annoying. Yes, I totally understand it, and have probably said it myself occasionally, but we all know that it is not possible. And saying that i should just puts more pressure on me during the time I am already stressed and does not help in any way :) I agree with you I do not enjoy every moment because it is not possible, but I try to carve out time to enjoy moments. Another thing that I have found helpful is to take videos of all sorts of things including small things (pictures are good too, but videos are better). Last night I watched a 5 minute video of my son eating a sandwich. Yes, just eating a sandwich nothing else. I sat and watched the entire thing giggling every couple seconds because I just found it so cute. Yes, I felt a little crazy but I also think that it is a great way for me to enjoy these moments a little longer. And anytime that I come across Little Man doing something that he shouldn’t or making a mess (or a mess that he had made that I didn’t know about) I picture. I think it is a good way to take a step back and gain some perspective, plus it is a great picture that I laugh about later (or sometimes right then :)
Diane says
Thank you for sharing on Family Fun Friday at happyandblessedhome.com! Blessings!
Crystal @ Serving Joyfully says
I agree that I haven’t enjoyed every minute. But, I think that keeping in mind that it is fleeting helps me to get past those not-so-great moments with more grace. No, it’s not fun when my 3 year old wakes me up in the middle of the night coming into my bed and kicking with his feet (digging in is more like it) so that I don’t stand a chance of getting back to sleep until he does.
But, when I remember that it’s fleeting, and that one day I will miss those moments, it helps me keep it in perspective. It helps me cuddle him and try to enjoy it even though he’s not so cuddly in those moments when his feet are burrowing into my abdomen…lol.
I do think that keeping it in perspective helps me to enjoy each moment as much as possible.
momstheword says
No, I don’t think that we CAN enjoy every moment of it. Friday I wrote a post called “The Day Motherhood Didn’t Live Up To My Expectations.” There are just going to be some of the days where it’s hard. But there will be some wonderful days too!
My children are young adults now. While I do remember those precious childhood days, and would love to hold my babies again anf cuddle, I also love the men they have become and looking forward to the future.
I loved what you said about enjoying the journey and trust the Lord to guide you. He will, He is so faithful!
I have a Monday linky party called “Making Your Home Sing Monday” and I would love to have you link this up (and any other posts that you want) if you’d like to join us. The linky party is live now!
Jen Stults says
No, I have not enjoyed every single minute of motherhood. :) I don’t think I know any mom who could honestly say she has. But as a whole, I have enjoyed it immensely (and will continue to)! As my youngest two are now four years old, I do wish sometimes I would have taken more opportunities to “stop and smell the roses” so to speak. But realistically, sometimes you just can’t! As moms we fill so many roles in the home, and as much as I’d love to just play with my children all day long, if I do then we won’t have clean clothing to wear or good food to eat. So, my goal is just to relax and enjoy whenever possible and not to stress about the rest!
Sarah says
Breathing in and enjoying every moment of today …
I hope you don’t mind if I splash around a bit to get to know you. This looks like a refreshing place to dip into some serious goodness.
Also wanted to extend an invite … to share this post (or another fave) to encourage even more moms. We could use it.
Join the Melody …
http://justsarahdawn.blogspot.com/2013/06/time-out-time-in.html
Sheila at Longings End says
But with all of this, the good and the bad, I don’t regret being unable to enjoy every minute. Motherhood is hard, and I’m learning to stop worrying about enjoying every minute, so that I can start enjoying the journey.
Paula — you are soooo right. Motherhood is HARD. The hardest thing a woman will ever do. And we can’t enjoy every single minute and I agree we have to let that go or we will burden ourselves with mommy guilt even more :)
But as you are seeing, they do grow up FAST and before we realize our nest is empty. I blogged about that today as I am wistful and missing my three boys of summer and all the fun we had in those days.
I pray God gives you grace for every step and mis-step, and that you will indeed ENJOY this BLESSED and FLEETING journey.