Welcome back to the Confessions series! Today we have an amazing guest post by Jessica of Hand Me Down Grace! This post has been such an encouragement to me, and I hope it is to you as well! If you are wanting more from this “confessions” series click on “the series” tab above to be taken to the intro page and an index of all the posts thus far.
At the core of each of us is a longing to know unequivocally that we are loved.
When I found out I was pregnant with my first daughter I though about all the things I wanted my daughter to know without question. At the tip-top of my list was that I wanted her to know beyond any doubt that she is completely and fully loved.
I mean really loved.
I want her to live all of her days knowing , from the start, that she was and is loved beyond measure.
I decided that one practical way to accomplish this goal was to never say “I love you but…” to her. I realized that I was hearing other mama friends make statements like:
- I love my daughter, but she has such a sassy mouth.
- Don’t get me wrong, I love my children, but they get on my last nerve some days.
- I love my son, but he never listens to a word I say.
- I love my kids, but {insert complaint here}.
I know that I’ve been called to motherhood. As Ann Voskamp said, “God needed someone to love the least and the little into real and whole people” and each day I am blessed to wake up my daughter and get down to the dirty work of mothering, and it is quite literally dirty work some days.
I made the commitment not to say “I loe you but…’ to her, but…sometimes I catch myself thinking it in those down and dirty motherhood moments.
- I love you, but I can’t wait until we are past these tantrums!
- I love you sweet girl, but can you just sit still for five seconds?!
- I love you, but can’t I have a moments peace?
the “I love you buts…” are joy stealers and I admit to having my joy stolen more than a handful of times.
Here is the thing, God has never once said “I love you but…” about us. You won’t find a transation of John 3:16 that reads “For God so loved the world, but…” He has loved us beyond measure through Jesus with no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
I want my daughter to know that I love her without condition, but more than that I want her to know that my ability to love her hinges on my understanding of Christ’s love for me. I can’t conjure u perfect love. No, perfect love comes from Christ and flows out of me.
That is grace. It is complete and total grace that he would use my imperfect mothering and shot-through-with-holes ways of loving to raise a generation that knows the origins of real no-buts-about-it kind of love. I pray with every fiber of my being that she will know that kind of love and rest in it all the days of her life.
His love is the way to end the sentence. I love you. Not because you please me. Not because you are the perfect child. Not because I am the perfect mother who never gets frustrated. I love you because Christ first loved me.
I love you.
Period.
The End.
Jessica Hoover is a wife, mama, writer and grace lover. She lives in the hills of North Carolina where her family serves with a missionary training organization. She dabbles as a birth doula and loves chocolate, {hot or iced and always sweet} tea, British dramas, cheering on other mamas and heaps of good conversation. She blogs about her belief that grace is the biggest kind of brave and can be found talking about it all on twitter and facebook.
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Jen Stults says
This post is such a good reminder! As mothers, we must first understand and appreciate God’s love (and GRACE!) for us before we can reflect such love to others. Thanks for the encouragement!
Jen :)
Lisa notes... says
“God has never once said “I love you but…” about us.”
Yes, that is grace indeed! So grateful for this truth. Thanks for sharing, Jessica.
alyssaz says
True words. I had never thought about it like that. I am sure I do it all the time
Heather Anderson says
I love this! What a great reminder for all parents to hear. Because Christ first loved us, we can love our children with adding the word but.
Nancy Sturm says
I loved this post, but…. Just kidding! Shame on me. Seriously, you gave a beautiful explanation of grace in action.
No ifs ands or buts about it. Thank you!
Laura says
What a cutie! These are good words to remember, Jessica. Thank you for pointing out how sometimes our words communicate a conditional love.
Kate @ Teaching What is Good says
Very good reminder of where our focus should be just like His! Now, to live it out! Thanks for linking this post up with me.
Jennice says
Wow, I never thought abt it that way.Thank you for the,reminder