Last week I went and pre-registered at the hospital for the birth of my baby girl.
It was so surreal walking in through the doors of the maternity ward where just 19 months ago I walked out of those same doors with my newborn son. I could see myself there almost two years ago, getting into the truck to take our boy home. I was so nervous, I was so scared and excited. I wondered if I could “do” this motherhood thing. I wondered if I could handle it. I wondered if I would be “good enough”. So many fears, so much excitement, and a precious boy to cuddle.
I didn’t realize how much I had grown and changed as a person, and as a mother in the past 19 months, but I am an entirely new person. So many of the fears that held my heart captive that day are not even a thought in my mind today. So much anxiousness and anxiety that has faded and all but disappeared in the last year and a half.
I have failed at many parts of motherhood, and I have succeeded at many parts of it too. I have good days and I have bad days, and so does my little boy but we are learning and growing together.
My life was forever changed the day I walked out of that hospital and brought my baby boy home. That was when the reality of motherhood and taking care of a child really hit, when I got to bring him home. When I saw him laying in his carseat in the back seat of our truck… I was so scared, but it was a precious time.
And now, I’m imagining a similar day. One that will take place in just 6 short weeks. The day we bring our baby girl home. I have some nervousness, but nothing like last time. I know that God will see me through. I know that I will make it by on His strength, and that I will be a good mama by His grace. I don’t fear motherhood like I once did. I embrace it, and I love it.
Walking through those doors today made it all so much more real to me. In 6 weeks I will be walking in them again, walking in to birth my baby girl, and start a brand new chapter of life. Nothing will stay the same. We will all have to figure life out together again. There will be lots of adjusting lots of stress and lots of LOVE. I cannot wait to hold that sweet girl in my arms, and bring her home to our house. To our happy family of four. As much love as our hearts hold right now, I know they will be bursting with joy at the sight of our sweet baby girl. the fourth member of our family. I am so excited for things to change again, to introduce our son to his new baby sister and watch their love for one another form.
So much to look forward to. So many changes are about to take place, and I know nothing will be the same, but I welcome it. I can look on that day with no fear because I know God is holding that day, the same way He’s held every day of my life. I have my sweet hubby by my side and our precious in my arms, soon to be joined by his sister.
Life is changing again. and I’m so thrilled.
Robin says
Aw you’re getting close!!! How exciting!!!
Elizabeth Spence says
Good luck! My first two kids are 14 months apart and it just sort of felt like I was on repeat for a few years. (“Didn’t I just do this? Oh yeah…I did.”) Learning to juggle multiple kids is a little rough but it’s so nice to have that confidence the second time around that at least it isn’t all brand new.
futurehope says
I wonder how much I will feel like I’m on repeat… I’m sure that will be a challenge! but I knew I didn’t want to re-start diapers, pregnancy, nursing etc. after I was totally DONE with it all with baby #1. I want all this stuff out of the way! lol
Gail Purath says
very exciting times and you are so right about our lives changing forever with the birth of each child. I read your About page and we have lots in common. I was married at 19 and had my son at 22 and my daughter at 24. My husband and best friend and I have been married 42 years now. Bless you as you prepare for this birth and the life change that comes with it. Gail (@1-Minute BibleLoveNotes.com)
futurehope says
oh wow! I love hearing about people who were married super young but are still together and in love now!!! SOOOOO encouraging because it seems everywhere you turn young marrieds are divorcing etc. makes me so sad!!
Kate @ Teaching What Is Good says
Oh, I’m so excited for you!! I remember with great delight those days and weeks before my babies were born. What a joy that God has taught you so much and has blessed you so much!! Praying for you during these next few weeks!!
futurehope says
Thanks so much Kate :)
Ruth@GraceLaced says
What an exciting time for you! Looking forward to hearing of your new little blessing!
futurehope says
Thanks!!!
Kathryn says
This is so beautiful. :) So happy for you.
futurehope says
Thanks Kathryn :)
futurehope says
awww congrats to you!!! wishing you an easy labor/delivery ;)
heading over to visit your blog! thanks for sharing!!!
futurehope says
Thanks for stopping by!
I feel like I’m better at going slow and enjoying it when the baby is here, than when I’m waiting…but then, I’ve always been bad at waiting! ;)
thanks for the advice and for stopping by! :)
Denise says
Praying for you.
Jenni says
Motherhood definitely causes you to look at life differently, doesn’t it? I love it! My little just turned one last week. :)
Liz @ thequickjourney.blogspot.com says
Congrats on your beautiful babies. We’re about to welcome our third little one in August and I can hardly wait until he/she is in my arms.
Adrienne says
What beautiful post! Motherhood changes everything about the way I see the world. It’s so much better. Stopped by from PYHO. :)
MB@NewLifeSteward says
Congrats! How exciting to prepare for your second little blessing and be able to look back and see God’s faithfulness to you!
Mary Beth
newlifesteward.com
Sunflower Faith says
Congratulations and beautiful post! Such a joy reading it!
Michelle says
Motherhood is about grace, compassion, love and forgiveness. A lot of that is towards ourselves. I’m so excited for your little girl. Thanks for linking up this week. :)
Sherri Davidson says
Such exciting times. It will not always be easy but oh sooooo worth it!!! Praying for an easy delivery and a fast recovery.
Theresa says
ok, i got tears in my eyes. i can’t think about bringing a child into the world and the love of a mother without crying. this was beautiful! congratulations!!! blessings as you hold her and she looks into your eyes and you bond!
What Joy Is Mine says
Paula…what an exciting time for you and your family! Praying for a safe and easy delivery. Thank you, as always, for sharing this at WJIM.
Sarah Avila says
What a lovely post! It’s amazing how a baby can change us; and it’s even more amazing that the Lord gives us grace to do it. I couldn’t be a mom without Him.
Sarah Avila says
Oh, and thanks for linking up again!!
Shell says
Such an exciting time coming up!
Michelle @ Changed By The Maker says
I echo all your feelings, but I was 36 when I had my first! I had quite a bit of fear built up, but the Lord is good! I enjoyed thinking again about those first days as a mama! Thanks for linking up with me at Make Life Meaningful Monday!
Malisa Price says
What a beautiful post!
Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? says
It is soo amazing, isn’t it?
And, what’s crazy, is how much your heart grows with the next one.