Alex and I often talk about the songs and sayings that our culture offers about love that are so unhealthy. Some of them sound very sweet and poetic and lovely, but when it comes down to it are impossible, unrealistic and majorly over the top.
For most of these songs I can still sing along and enjoy it, giving them a sort of poetic license to exaggerate. All love and romance songs are not ruined for me just because I don’t agree with a line or two. I often tell myself they are being poetic, and they don’t really mean what they are saying etc, just so I can enjoy the song. That being said, I do think some of these songs are hurtful to young girls who may be taking them to heart.
One that has always rubbed me the wrong way is Taylor Swift’s song “Ours”. The line that gets to me is in the chorus. She says that:
“life makes love look hard”…
Seeming to imply, that love is not hard. That love is easy and just comes naturally all our lives.
I have to disagree! Love is hard. Commitment is hard. It’s a challenge to put another person’s feelings above your own. It is hard to take another person into consideration every time you make a decision. It can be difficult to stay commited when the storms of life hit. It would be simple to run away from every problem, but that is not what love does. Attraction is easy, lust is easy, but love? Love is much harder, much deeper, and much more beautiful.
Maybe if we didn’t assume love was easy, there would be a lot less divorce. People wouldn’t go into marriage expecting it to be simple all the time. Maybe if we didn’t think love was easy we wouldn’t claim we had “fallen out of love” when things got hard, and instead we would fight to keep love alive, and continue loving.
As much as I enjoy Taylor Swift and her music (my husband is a HUGE fan of hers) I have to disagree on this one.
A quick look at the “love chapter” of the Bible 1 Corinthians 13, and we will see just how hard love is!
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
That’s a pretty difficult list. Patience, kindness, lack of irritability. yikes. I’m a failure every day at a lot of these. But love also endures all things – Love will endure when your spouse fails, it will endure when things life is hard. It will endure when it is HARD to continue loving. By God’s grace it endures.
To me, saying that love is not hard cheapens it.
I know that love is hard, but I also know that it is beautiful and wonderful.
Love is hard, and in many ways, that is the beauty of it. If it were easy, it wouldn’t be love.
What about you? Are there love songs that rub you the wrong way? Do you think love is easy or hard?
Fawn says
I love your transparency, Paula. Wishing you an awesome weekend!
futurehope says
Thanks Fawn! same to you…sorry this reply is so late ;)
Rosilind Jukic says
Awesome post…and I totally agree. Its not easy. Thank you for posting this, I needed to know that I’m not crazy for thinking the same thing! Popping over from WLW
futurehope says
thanks for posting Rosilind!
and you are defiantly not crazy :) … that or we are all crazy together!
Gail Purath says
Yes, you are so right. Married at 19-42 years ago, I concur that love can be hard…but everything worthwhile takes effort and devotion. And that’s what makes love wonderful too! Thanks for sharing. Gail (BibleLoveNotes.com)
futurehope says
so true “everything worthwhile takes effort and devotion”
thanks for stopping by Gail! I love hearing from you!!
Monica Tillery says
Very nice post! I agree, people don’t realize how difficult relationship can be and how much work they are. Just like plants it takes lots to grow and strengthen it!
futurehope says
Very true, it takes so much more effort than it would seem. (but so worth it!)
thanks for stopping by today!!! : ) I loved hearing from you!!!
Denise says
Such a nice post.
futurehope says
Thanks Denise!
L says
I LOVE this!! So well said and so encouraging as well as truthful. Thanks for writing this post!
Much love,
L
allglorious-within.blogspot.com
futurehope says
Thank you! I’m glad it was an encouragement!
Following you! thanks for sharing your link!
Becky Moseley says
You are so right, marriage is so hard, but so worth it. Whenever you put two sinful, different people together, it is going to be tough. Praise God for His grace and mercy!
futurehope says
Amen to that! We would not have made it this far in our relationship if it weren’t for God! and I’m so thankful that we have made it!!! :)
F.... says
I haven’t heard that particular song, but I have to agree with this post! If Gods love is the most pure and perfect love, in no way has anything he ever done for a sinner like me looked remotely “easy.” Love may be hard, but it’s worth it. Although I am sure it wouldn’t have rhymed in the song. Hahahah. Great post!!
futurehope says
haha yeah fitting all that in with the tune would be a challenge! lol I always sing “life and love are hard” instead of “life makes love look hard”
Kelly JS says
I’m not familiar with the song but I’m like you. I listen to a variety of music because I can separate myself from the ‘message’ and just enjoy it. Love is hard and thankfully so or it’d be easier to walk away from it.
futurehope says
so true. I’m glad it’s hard. The hard times we’ve made it through together have made our trust in God and in each other that much stronger!
Kelly says
You are so right. Boy is love HARD. it is SO easy to give up isn’t it? Love is work and a commitment above all else i think.
futurehope says
I totally agree! it doesn’t sound as poetic that way, but in truth it is so much more beautiful :)
Kim says
Hollywood only looks at the “I” side of marriage. That’s why it then gets hard, ha. Great post. The hard part is the good part. The ties that bind two people together for a lifetime like the wrinkles. They tell a story.
Kim
Laynah Rose says
Amen! You make such a good point! I often think about how younger people are taking song lyrics too, but not enough to have one that sticks out to me. I think, for me, there are worse ones than “life makes love look hard”