Non-mother people have all these misconceptions about sleeping.
When you are pregnant they say “Sleep now, you’ll need it when baby comes”. Because that makes total sense. It’s super easy to sleep when I have to get up every eleven minutes to pee and my entire body aches like I have some sort of hybrid-flu situation going on. Yep, I’ll just sleep now and stock it all up in my handy “sleep bank” so I won’t be tired when I’m up with a newborn. Oh wait, I forgot…that’s not how sleep works guys.
It doesn’t really get better though does it? Baby comes along and every one says “sleep when baby sleeps”. Oh, okay. And I guess I should never bathe myself, eat, clean the home, shop for groceries or do laundry. Alrighty then, fabulous plan my friends. Fabulous plan.
I always endured these comments, though I was flabbergasted by them. Believe me people, I’m sleeping whenever I can it’s just not really that do-able. Especially with every child that is not your first. Because “sleep when baby sleeps” suddenly means all of the children must sleep at the same time and that is one strategic mess to try to synchronize nap time. I think it averages out to about 0.00021% of the time all children sleep at the same time. So good luck with that “sleeping while every one sleeps thing”.
I made it through these days with one solid thought in my mind. “It won’t be like this forever. I’ll get to sleep when they get older.”
Except then they got older. And sleep is STILL not a guarantee. Because they get scared of the dark. And they figure out how to get around their child-proof doors and decide to come join you at various times throughout the night. They still wake up screaming for no aparent reason and you can’t even nurse them back to sleep anymore! You can just pat them and hope they stop. They get older and make up irrational things to be scared about and it’s really hard to be comforting about an irrational fear at 4 o’clock in the morning when you’ve already been up with a puking older brother throughout the night and didn’t get to bed on time because Sister kept freaking out about an alleged bug in her room that magically was gone every time a parent entered the room.
Then, as my friends with older kids tell me, as your kids get older and becoming teenagers, you lose sleep waiting for them to get home or wondering where they are.
The simple truth is – when you become a mom, you also immediately become sleep deprived forever. As in #sleepdeprivedforever – lament with me on twitter if you are ever around and feeling sleepy. It’s quite satisfying. Things like:
and of course
and we can’t forget
Do you feel sleep deprived forever or have you found a magical way to sleep through the night? While I have mastered a bedtime routine that is SUPER easy – finding time to sleep is still a daily struggle! – Share your best #sleepdeprivedforever moment with us in the comment or on twitter (bonus points if you do both!) Let’s laugh at this crazy ride of motherhood together!
And for extra fun — join us over here for MORE funny, unedited truths about motherhood! Like the actual stressful thing about bathroom time as a mom – and the reality of meal time and a whole lot more! Let me know your favorite unedited truths we’ve done so far or make up your own in a comment!