We’ve all heard the saying about taking the word ‘divorce’ out of your vocabulary when you get married, but the fact of the matter is, divorce exists, whether we like it or not.
To be honest, my husband and I kept it in our vocabulary when we got married. Not as an option, but as a warning. I am not even the slightest bit tempted to divorce my hubby, I can’t even imagine getting to the point when I would be, but I’m not naive.
I know that most people don’t say their vows while silently plotting to break them a year or two down the road. It’s a process getting to that point of separation, so instead of ignoring it, I want to spend every day walking in the other direction with my hubby.
I love waking up each morning, knowing that he is choosing me today as he has done every beautiful and each difficult day for the past 5 years. Just as I have chosen him and just as we will continue to do until “death do us part”.
Not because we think divorce doesn’t exist, but because we know it does, and we know too many couples who have walked that road. We’re actively choosing a different path every single day. Every ‘I love you’, and with each ‘I’m sorry” we choose a different road and we walk together. We’re choosing to do more than just “stay married” and avoid divorce. We’re choosing to stay happily married.
We don’t want to be caught unaware and suddenly be miles from one another. We don’t want to just keep our vows and say we barely made it.
We want to make it happily, through the successes, joys, failures and sorrows that our lives may bring us. Walking together, and walking away from divorce, not striving blind and hoping we don’t end up there. Taking the time to love, and to listen. Finding time for each other even in the middle of crazy work schedules and all-nighters with the babies.
It’s intentional, on both our parts. Fawn would say, “it takes effort, not work”, and she’s right. Effort to love and be loved through every bit of life, even when life gets hard. Effort to stay together, working together through everything and walking away… away from that D-word that so many of us don’t like to talk about. It’s real, it exists, and I don’t want to ignore it, I just want to be sure I’m facing the other direction with my man by my side.
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