Beauty Through Imperfection

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Tantrums and grace

tantrums

Last week my son was horribly behaved. Not just generally  naughty (he’s a toddler, so ‘generally naughty’ is nothing to blog about) but honestly horrible. We have been dealing with the normal “toddler stuff” for awhile now. He’s been experimenting with throwing tantrums and telling me “no!” etc.
Honestly, the tantrums don’t bother me that much. My son is a pretty logical child and so he usually has a reason for throwing a fit. (doesn’t make the tantrum okay, but it does help me to maintain patience throughout it, because I can understand why he’s upset and that he just doesn’t know how to respond to disappointment yet..)

This week, there was no logic to it, he was just plain horrible. Screaming for no reason, asking for something then when I gave it to him yelling “no!” and literally throwing it back at me etc. Hitting, crying, yelling, throwing things… it was awful. There was no reasoning to it (that I could see at the time…later I realized he was teething and he was changing sleeping patterns as well). It was just a horrid week. My hubby would come home from work and I would just be exhausted. Ready for my day with my son to be over. I hate being that way, I hate getting “tired” of being with my son, but it was that bad that I was just weary.

I would hear my boy wake up in the morning and I would groan, tears would come to my eyes, then I would literally pray and beg God for patience to make it through the day. beg Him to make me a little more Christ-like today as I try to be loving and gracious to my boy who has seemingly turned into a monster..

It really got me thinking though. About God’s mercy, and God’s grace for us.
Lamentations 3:22,23 says:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.

23 

They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
Those verses breathed life into me in this rough week. Reminding me that God is so gracious to us. He forgives us when we are undeserving and He doesn’t hold yesterday’s sins over our heads.
How simple it is for me to wake up and greet my son with lack of patience expecting him to be poorly behaved yet again. But then I remembered grace. Then I remembered God’s love for me, how He continues to poor out His love to me every time I fail, even in the midst of my “tantrums” and sin. He doesn’t lose His patience with me (though He does discipline at times).
“Please help me to be more like You” I prayed. “please help me to be patient and treat my son with grace”.
And He did. I’m sure I didn’t handle everything perfectly, but we made it through a really rough week. My boy’s teeth came in and his sleep schedule has been adjusted to suit him better. He’s happy and healthy again. And I learned about grace. I saw how it is painful to give sometimes, and it just made me so much more thankful for all the grace I have been given. For all the patience God has towards me his unruly daughter. I need His grace every day, and I also need to give grace every day as I teach my son and we learn together.
Peace.

I know that my son cannot comprehend the love and grace of God right now, but I pray that I am being a good example of it towards him, and one day he can see my example, my successes and my failures and it will all point him to God. To the one who gives grace more than any other, the one that loves us like no one else can. the one that created love.

 

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. It’s so hard to turn around and give to others what God has given to you. We gratefully accept his new mercies and grace each day, but it’s hard to extend the same things to others.

    Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job pointing his little heart towards Christ!

    Mary Beth
    newlifesteward.com

    Reply

    • well put Mary Beth. It is so hard at times!!! thanks for the encouragement!

      Headed over to visit your blog now! thanks for commenting and sharing the link to your blog too!

      Reply

  2. It is amazing what happens when we become mothers! We begin to understand God all the more; especially His grace and mercy because it is even greater than what we are able to give to our children. To know that God loves us more intensely than our greatest love can give is absolutely wonderful.

    Reply

    • You are so right! It really does amaze me that God’s love for me (and my child) far exceeds my love for my little boy. I love my little guy as much as I possibly can, so much it hurts sometimes!!! and I know it’s still NOTHING compared with the love Christ has already shown us. truly incredible!

      Reply

  3. This is an amazing post because it makes an easy for mothers to understand analogy. I wonder how many tantrums I’ve thrown? Actually, come to think of it…I’ve been throwing one lately…ugh…

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  4. Parenting has taught me deeper levels of grace I would otherwise had never known. So thankful that his grace is new every morning. Thanks for sharing your heart!

    Reply

  5. Thank you for sharing – parenting is not always easy but so very often rewarding! And when we tap into the strength and grace that God has anew for us each day, it is really amazing what we can do, together with Him. Thanks for the reminder! Visiting from coveredingrace.

    Reply

    • thanks for visiting!!! :)

      you phrased it perfectly “parenting is not always easy but is rewarding!” That pretty much sums it up doesn’t it?

      Reply

  6. being a mother teaches us so many things, gives us so much strenght that most of men have no idea.
    My daughter is in a tantrum stage as well but when it happens I just keep telling myself: “it will pass.it’s just a stage”. hope it’s all better now for you. it will all get better!

    Reply

    • thanks so much for the encouragement. He’s been better this weekend, but still throwing in some tantrums here and there! Keeping me on my toes for sure! ;)

      Reply

    • thanks Marianne :)

      It’s funny because things that we “know” (ex. that we are God’s children) just become so much more clear when we have children of our own. truly amazing!

      thanks for stopping by today! <3

      Reply

  8. awww you have 2 pretty close together! :) We will too in a few months!

    poor little baby teething. I always thought it was so pitiful when my boy was so little and teething, because he had no idea what was going on!

    this week has been better so far thankfully!

    thanks for sharing the link to your blog! I will go check it out :D

    Reply

  9. awww i’m sorry you are going through it with your little guy too! hopefully it passes quickly for all of us! :)

    I totally agree, being a parent has helped me understand God a lot more and in different ways than ever before! truly amazing! :)

    thanks for stopping by my blog and sharing about your journey!!!
    Headed over to visit your blog now :)

    Reply

  10. Oh wow three times so far! you must be a pro by now! ;)

    GREAT verse for the tantrum times… wow. thanks for sharing that!!!!

    headed over to visit your blog now, thanks for sharing the link!

    Reply

  11. Prayer is pretty much the only way to get through some toddler days isn’t it? :P

    thanks for sharing your blog link, I’m headed over to “visit” you now!!!

    Reply

  12. sounds like a lot of us are going through it at the same time! Nice to not be the “only one”, it sure feels like I am sometimes!!!

    thanks for stopping by & for sharing your link, headed over to visit you now!

    Reply

  13. yes it is nice to not be the only one! lol! I know I feel like I am alone at times too! Thanks for stoppin back by! :)

    Reply

  15. Beautiful post about tantrums and grace. So much truth. thanks for sharing. I definately find that when I see my own behavior in my children and then identify God’s response to me, which is so often grace, I am better equipped to be a good mother and lead my children to the Lord. Keep up the good work.

    Reply

  16. What a sweet post about God’s grace! So thankful that your little man is back to himself — teething is no fun. This reminder about extending grace to others as they are “growing and adjusting” is beautiful. :)

    Reply

  17. Even though my boys are now teens, those toddler days still feel like only yesterday. I guess that’s a testament to how challenging they were at times :). Bless you, mothering is hard work. I think you are being a wonderful example of Jesus for him.

    Reply

    • oh wow, that DOES say a lot for how difficult this is :P I guess that means it just keeps getting better though? *hopeful* :)

      thanks so much for the encouragement!!!

      Reply

  19. Sounds like the day I’m dealing with… my 2-yr-old wants to nurse constantly and is being very whiny, which is a change from normal because usually she’s pretty happy playing with her older sister. It’s driving me nuts! So thanks for this reminder to show her grace, as I don’t know what she’s dealing with right now (teething, growing, etc).

    Reply

    • awww those days are the hardest in my opinion! When I know what’s irritating him I find myself having much more grace… Not how it should be, but that’s how I am. Much harder to show grace when I don’t understand WHY… hope she gets past whatever is ailing her soon <3

      Reply

  20. Welcome to SDG! Oh, I have had weeks like this, too, and I am always amazed at how God speaks through my own little ones (sometimes loudly). So glad that you found grace and grace found you.

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  21. Oh honey, I so remember those days! Take heart, I can tell you that they DO NOT LAST!! Keep faithfully tied into the heart of God (as you are doing with your time in the Word, letting Him refresh you) and your love and direction with your son WILL yield the peaceful fruit of righteousness!

    Praying for refreshment for you today!

    Reply

  26. Oh goodness, I can certainly relate to this post! Teething toddlers make for lots of tantrums…sometimes its me throwing the tantrum! Thanks for sharing! I found you from the linkup on Denise in Bloom.

    Reply

  27. Oh my…this brings back such memories! :) My daughter (who is now a college graduate) had such a temper! She would throw what I call “stand-up tantrums”. Totally hilarious now, but not at the time. I wanted to pull my hair out! Especially the time she decided to throw one in the middle of the store at the top of her lungs! LOL But the funny thing is I miss those days…they pass too quickly!

    Reply

    • aww that’s so sweet <3 glad you can look back and laugh now!!! The days are passing so quickly!!! I can't imagine him starting school, much less finishing it!!! eeeek! it's all going by so fast!!! <3 thanks for sharing your story with me :) I love it!!!

      Reply

  28. Oh teething. I remember these times. I will admit that Advil and Tylenol were my friends at this time. There are still times though when I hear the kids waking up during my quiet time that I cring. I often wonder if God cringes when I wake up. When we focus more on Him and less on us then it quickly changes our mind set. Thank you for linking up your randomness this week.

    Reply

    • Teething is really so sad :/ tylenol has definitely kept us both sane lots of times! lol

      “When we focus more on Him and less on us then it quickly changes our mind set” – very wise words!!! thanks for sharing!!!

      Reply

  29. When we become mothers, we think we will be the ones teaching but, sometimes, we are the ones learning. This was a great post! Thank you for being so open and for sharing at WJIM.

    Reply

    • So true! I have had to dedicate an entire section of my blog to “what my son is teaching me” because he really does teach me so much!! <3 thanks for stopping by!

      Reply

    • not officially. He was teething, and also the next week he went through several huge “growing up” milestones, so maybe that was jsut his little body’s way of preparing for it? I don’t really know, but thankfully it seems to be done with for now! :)

      he’s still throwing tantrums/fits at times but not nearly what it was last week, and there seems to be more “reasoning” behind them when he throws them. lol

      Reply

    • oooh having food does seem to avoid many problems doesn’t it! lol

      “use your words” is a very common one I’m noticing. funny, it’s so simple but extremely essential!

      Reply

  34. We’re going through this right now, with our 14 month old daughter. It’s reassuring to know we’re not alone – and so encouraging to know I’m not the only mom who handles tantrums with grace and not punishment!! I feel pretty alone in my circles, in that respect. Thank you for being REAL ♥

    Reply

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