The following is a true story about what happened at our house while I was cooking dinner last night. No, we had not even attempted the eating of said meal yet. It was still being prepared when these things took place.
- Big brother wants to play in the sink in the bathroom, but knows this is not allowed so slams the door in an attempt to keep his sister (and hopefully his mama) out.
- Sister’s fingers get slammed in said door.
- General screaming and crying from both parties ensues.
- Kisses, hugs and reprimands are given liberally by mom while she tries not to catch the kitchen on fire.
- Brother runs into the bathroom while Sister is being comforted.
- Mom really should have paid attention here, but was too busy wondering if she would suffer hearing loss from the high-pitched screams of the barely hurt two year old she is cuddling.
- Brother decides the best way to keep Sister out of the bathroom once and for all is to lock the door from the inside, also exit the bathroom himself and pull it shut.
- No one can get into the bathroom.
- Brother realizes it’s locked forever and begins screaming.
- Sister feels much better but seems to be considering screaming again just to keep up with Brother.
- Brother suggests getting a saw and sawing out the door handle so we can go in the bathroom.
- Mom shoots down this idea.
- Mom returns to making dinner while the kids attempt to knock their way into the locked bathroom.
- Daddy comes home.
- Daddy goes to the garage to get his screwdriver while the kids chase after him like poor forlorn orphans who have never known love. (Daddy hugs > Mommy hugs)
- Daddy gets to work unscrewing the doorknob to the bathroom.
- Mom continues cooking and doing dishes.
- Dad removes doorknob and kids run into the bathroom as if it’s a candy store offering free samples.
- Dad starts putting doorknob back on the door.
- Sister decides this would be the perfect time to unroll all the toilet paper rolls, since mom and dad are preoccupied.
- Brother cheers her on until Dad notices.
- Mom hears Dad yelling for backup.
- Mom gives Sister a snack and continues cooking.
I will spare you the rest of the details, but this is just an average day in our home. And that is just before dinner.
Actual mealtime takes place around fabulous conversations such as:
Brother: “I want chicken nuggets for dinner, I’m sooooooo hungry!”
Mom serves chicken nuggets
Brother: “no, I don’t like this, my belly is FULL I said! I want to just go play”
*playing for the next hour*
Mom: “Okay buddy, time to go potty and get ready for bed”
Brother: *Immediate tears* “But I’m soooo hungry mom! My belly is EMPTY!”
Some variation of the above conversation happens every single night. We could be having his very favorite dish, he could even possibly eat three servings of it, but when bedtime rolls around the food magically flees from his stomach and he becomes ravenously hungry once again. It’s astonishing the way the body of a toddler works. I will never cease to be amazed!
What are the funniest mealtime/cooking antics your kids have ever done? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments! This is the UNEDITED truth about motherhood, where we learn to laugh at those crazy moments that happen to all of us! – Check out this link for MORE Unedited truths about motherhood!