A few days ago I wrote a post about finding myself in motherhood. While motherhood is often equated with losing yourself, after 2 and a half years I’ve realized that the opposite can be true as well (but you can read all about that in the post).
The discussion in the comments section of that post was one of the most interesting we’ve had in awhile. Several moms shared how they too had found themselves after becoming moms but there were some that were still feeling a bit lost in motherhood.
I have definitely been there too. My entire first year of motherhood I felt lost, and downright lonely. I thought I was so prepared for motherhood, but it took a greater toll on me emotionally and mentally than I ever imagined possible. I was definitely lost, and had no idea what to do.
So I wanted to write this for the ones that are feeling lost today. We’ve all been there, and even after we “find ourselves again” there are still days when we feel utterly lost all over again. Ironically, a few days after I wrote the post mentioned above, I started feeling stressed and demoralized by life. It’s easy to feel overlooked and overwhelmed as a mama. It’s oh so simple to get lost in the mundane and forget to see the beauty. And let’s face it, changing 15 dirty diapers and wiping up over a dozen spills and being bossed around by a toddler all afternoon is enough to make any one feel lost.
So if you find yourself stuck today, wondering how you are going to make it ’til bedtime, through the week, or the long years ahead, let me remind you: just because you feel lost today, doesn’t mean you always will be. Just because you feel unnoticed doesn’t mean no one cares. Every time you wipe a bottom, or kiss a scratch, every mess you clean, and story you read, each action is seen by the Almighty God who cares for you.
Your service is enough. You are enough.
Though you may feel lost along the way, this is only a season, and you will find yourself again. Embrace where you are, embrace who you are now, and you will find who you want to be, ready to shine in the beautiful ordinary of motherhood.
Sarah says
Delighted to meet you. I hope you don’t mind if I splash around a bit to get to know you. This looks like a refreshing place to dip into some serious momma goodness.
And … I have some other mom friends, a melody of moms, that I think would love to read your post as well. It would be an honor to have you join us over here where we share momma notes …
http://justsarahdawn.blogspot.com/2013/05/momma-notes.html
Splashin,
Sarah
Bridget says
Thank you for posting this. I myself have been in one of those moods for the past few days. Just reading this made me tear up
Becky says
I have felt this way so frequently this year, it is nice to know Im not the only one!
Gail @ BibleLoveNotes.com says
I like you’re thoughts on finding yourself and losing yourself in motherhood. I guess we mothers experience just about everything along that spectrum, don’t we?
Laura says
This is the sweetest encouragement, Paula. Thank you for the many ways you share your heart.
Karrie says
thank you so much for your words. it is true that motherhood is a calling and that we can’t forget how important we are through the mess and stress. visiting from Soli Deo Gloria
Mel Caldicott says
This is such an encouraging post. I too had a very lonely, lost first year of motherhood. We need to remember what it’s like for first time mums and how hard it can be. A little support, encouragement, care and a good laugh can be a gift that goes a long way. Thanks for sharing something which so many of us experience. Linked here from The Wellspring. Blessings.
Glenda Childers says
Beautiful words for sweet young mommas.
Fondly,
Glenda
Alana @ Sparrow + Grace says
Such an encouraging post! I think I range between “lost” and “found’ depends on the day and how confident I feel in my role as a wife, mother, and homemaker. It’s all tied together, at least to me. Also, if I haven’t been able to do anything for myself in a while {blogging, visiting with friends, window shopping, etc}, I can feel a bit lost sometimes, which is why it’s so important to take time to refresh.
Jenni Mullinix says
Such a wonderful reminder for Mamas. Thank you for sharing this with the Thrive @ Home community!
Naomi@WhatJoyIsMine says
Paula…what sweet encouragement and reminder to young mamas that it isn’t in vain and they are important even in the mundane of motherhood. Thank you for sharing this at WJIM. Blessings.
Elle Cowan says
oh i remember those days… miserably I’m afraid, but i can assure you there is light at the end of the tunnel, my little darlings are all big darlings now and have flown the nest and truthfully i did start having children a little too young but it has worked out for me , i got myself sterilised in my early thirties as i had my children close in age and knew that i would never want any more, so now i’m all mine once again and selfishly loving it to the max! i adore my children of course i do, but i would never underestimate the sheer hard work that being a parent entails, i went into it naively but oh my days it was the steepest learning curve of my life! so all in all, great article! i think we would all do each other a great service by being honest about our mis-givings and such, it can be so over-whelming being a mother and when you feel youre surrounded by almost angelic super-mum-like beings who never get it wrong or make the odd short cut, its easy to see why some women end up feeling very upset, frustrated and inadequate! its sisters day today and to me that means all women, but especially fellow mothers, so remember girls, you are doing a great job and nobody is perfect, were only human after all! <3 much love <3
Jillian @ Hi! It's Jilly says
I got a little teary-eyed while reading this post. Thanks for the great reminder! Your posts always hit home. :)
kailin says
Thank you. I couldn’t have run across this at a better time. I just quit breast feeding a month earlier than my goal. It feels like I just crawled out from under a rock as I realize that for the last 18 months (9 months of pregnancy and 11 months of breast feeding) my entire life has been about my daughter. I no longer have friends, have only been out 3 times with out her, and anytime I talk to someone I talk about my daughter. Realizing this just put me, unexpectedly, in a dark place. I’m 19. I’m starting to miss my life, resent my baby and SO, and I want things to change. I really need to feel like my own self again. The person I need instead of who everyone else needs.
Reading this and learning I’m not the only person who gets lost in mothering. And what’s funny is up until recently I didn’t mind and I think That’s how I got as lost as I Did.