I’m sorry about the New Baby.
I’m sorry that since he’s been here, things have been totally different for you and for us.
I’m sorry for those days/weeks/months where Mommy wasn’t quite herself because if you only knew what my body went through to give birth to that New Baby…
I’m sorry that no matter how much you say to him, he just doesn’t say anything back.
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I’m sorry that all of a sudden, you’re not the baby anymore–you’re not babied anymore–and sometimes we expect more out of you than we should.
I’m sorry that my knee-jerk reaction when you approach The New Baby is some exclamation like: “STOP.” “NO.” “DON’T TOUCH.” “WASH YOUR HANDS!”
I’m sorry that Mommy is just about always exhausted from sleeping in three hour stretches and isn’t as energetic, playful or patient as she used to be.
I’m sorry that when you startle him, sometimes he flails his arms and smacks you in the face and Mommy busts out laughing even though THAT REALLY HURT AND STOP LAUGHING MOMMY.
I’m sorry, so very sorry for that dirty diaper I handed you that wasn’t wrapped up quite as tightly as I thought it was.
I’m sorry that The New Baby maxes out our home’s crying quota everyday and there’s nothing left for you.
I’m sorry that we have to bring like 18 bags everywhere we go now and you usually have to carry one of them.
I’m sorry we can’t jump in the car and go on our anywhere adventures like we used to.
I’m sorry that Mommy can’t hold you when she’s holding The New Baby because that’s just plain dangerous for all of us.
I’m sorry that you keep seeing cool clothes on The New Baby and you keep hearing that they used to be your clothes and that’s confusing because IF IT’S MINE THEN WHY IS HE WEARING IT?!?
I’m sorry that when you’re doing your absolute best to comfort him, sometimes he just keeps crying.
I’m sorry that your complex, yet sporadic needs are mixed in with his simple, yet repetitive needs and it often leaves you waiting longer than you’ve ever had to before.
But I’m not sorry that you have a little brother who already adores you.
I’m not sorry when I see his face light up as you play with him–a smile reserved only for you.
I’m not sorry for the multiplied fun and love that only a sibling can bring to your life.
I’m not sorry that you’ve had to learn that you’re not the center of the universe.
I’m not sorry that you’ve become so much more patient, helpful, generous, gentle, and nurturing because it’s in the big sibling job description.
I’m not sorry that your Daddy and I love you and loved your babyhood too much not to do it all over again.
I’m not sorry that my attention is divided between the two of you because I know that neither of you would trade the other for Mom’s undivided attention. Seriously, no one in the world would do that.
So sweet Toddler, I know that an apology for The New Baby probably doesn’t even make sense to you because you love him too much. But if you could help me get your little sibling through this helpless first year of his life, I promise that he’ll get bigger and more playful. And I promise that this crazy season will be over in a minute–Mommy will get more sleep and we’ll get back to our adventures. Except we’ll have one more awesome person to share in our adventures with us.
Let’s be fair though… the new baby needs some apologies too!
Consider getting a fun gift for the big sibling to help them celebrate the new baby.
Coloring shirts are one of the MOST fun ways to do this. There’s one coloring shirt for big bro and one coloring shirt for big sis. They can color the shirts with washable markers to design them again and again OR use permanent markers to keep their original design forever! Kids LOVE decorating their own shirts and these are too cute!!!
These shirts are perfect for helping your older child announce your pregnancy too! They can do it in style with an adorable shirt they have designed themselves!
Help your toddler feel special by creating a customized book for the new big brother and big sister.
Visit these posts for more tips about preparing your toddler to become a big sibling and Tips for helping your toddler adjust to the new baby!
Are you planning on giving big brother or big sister gifts to the older siblings when baby is born? What gift(s) will you give them?
For even MORE tips about preparing your toddler to be a new sibling, and helping them transition once the baby arrives, check out my ebook on the topic! I know that every one is busy, so it’s a quick read that can be read in small snippets while the toddler is sleeping or while you feed the baby! Check out the book by clicking the image below.
Oh love this! I’m currently 3 months pregnant with my second and can imagine I will need to be saying this all to my 3 year old when baby is here! xx
This tugged at my heart. My toddler just turned 40 and the baby is now 36. Those days have long been gone but the happy memories came flooding back. They have always been there for each other and we have shared many laughs about those early days. Thank you for sharing this.
This is the best comment! Oh what a sweet perspective for those of us in the trenches with diapers and boogers and tragically broken toys <3
Absolutely love that you added what you are NOT sorry for. My oldest was 19 months when her brother was born. It definitely meant big changes in her life, and I felt bad most days that her life was turned upside down. But, watching them together now, I know she wouldn’t have it any other way.
I love this!! My then 3 yr old coped fab when his lil bro was born but now baby no.3 is on way he is 8 and is really struggling with the fact! I cannot wait to now do our own thing as a couple for both our boys who will be big and bigger brothers. X
I’m sorry I don’t believe in this. I’m sorry my 2nd and 3rd baby never got to be the first. I’m sorry that my younger child has older siblings that love her but She doesn’t have a younger sibling to love. I’m sorry I think every child has a special spot and learns from that spot. Don’t feel sorry for the first kid! They were the only one that got just you!! This kind of Momma guilt is cute but that’s about it for me. I have 25, 23, 18, 17, and 6. We need to stop saying we are sorry and start saying “oh by gosh by golly kid! You are so lucky you aren’t #adulting!!” I love my babies and I’m not sorry.