Dear Second Baby,
I’m sorry that you’re the first thing on his mind each morning, and that no matter where I put you, he finds you.
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I’m sorry that he has just one volume and it’s yelling. Usually within inches of your precious tiny ears.
I’m sorry that he can insist on holding you for 15 minutes, but then he’s done with you after 30 seconds.
I’m sorry, so very sorry about the licking.
I’m sorry about the diaper-changing assistance he offers, with all of the loud exclamations detailing the appearance of your poop.
I’m sorry about his stroller pushing, how it’s often too slow or too fast with swerves and wheelies and it just about always ends upon impact.
I’m sorry about the leg-yanking he does when I’m holding you because he wants you on his level.
I’m sorry that his first year was filled with cuddles and googly eyes and yours is just Mommy trying to keep The Toddler from heaping all of his toys on your head each day.
I’m sorry that he expects you to be awake whenever he is awake.
I’m sorry about all of the sleep interruption via smothering kisses, pesky pokes, and yelled lullabies.
I’m sorry that his first year was about savoring the sweetness and yours is about hour-by-hour survival.
I’m sorry that your simple, yet repetitive needs are mixed in with his more complex, yet sporadic needs, and it often leaves you crying longer than he ever had to.
I’m sorry that you’ve had to learn patience before you’ve even learned to lift your head.
But I’m not sorry that you have a big brother who adores you.
I’m not sorry for all of the extra love you get because you have three people intimately invested in your life.
I’m not sorry that you’ve got a best friend who will have your back through just about anything life throws at you.
I’m not sorry for the way The Toddler has taught me that you little ones grow too fast not to enjoy each snuggle, each day, each stage of your rapidly changing lives.
I’m not sorry that my attention is divided between the two of you because I know that neither of you would trade the other for Mom’s undivided attention. I mean, would anyone in the world do that?
So Second Baby, I’ll run my best defense to get you to the other side of this helpless first year of your life. And should you survive, I’ll be sure to look the other way while you show your big brother all of the life-threatening love he’s been showing you.
You can also ease the transition by getting your oldest a special new shirt they can COLOR. There’s one coloring shirt for big bro and one coloring shirt for big sis. They can color the shirts with washable markers to design them again and again OR use permanent markers to keep their original design forever! Kids LOVE decorating their own shirts and these are too cute!!!
These shirts are perfect for helping your older child announce your pregnancy too! They can do it in style with an adorable shirt they have designed themselves!
Looking for more ways to make your older child feel special? Try one of these sentimental gift ideas for the new big brother/big sister!
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If you have a baby you need to apologize to, then it’s likely you also have a toddler who is doing his best to transition through a HUGE life change. Here are a few tips we’ve found to make that transition easier for toddler and mom/dad!
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Or read part two of this post…where mama apologizes to the toddler!
Michelle says
What a beautiful post. I completely agree. I used to worry that my later children were not going to get as much attention as my first, but now that I have more than one, I see how lucky they really are.
Paula Farris says
Oh so funny and oh so true! My daughter and her 21 month old son live with us. She is expecting her second baby in just under a month. She’s been pretty nervous about how The Toddler will interact with The Baby. I read her your post and we had a good laugh. We especially enjoyed the licking one, though I’m pretty sure she hadn’t considered that possibility. LOL Thank you for easing some of her concerns and in such a delightful way.
Chris Rose says
This is awesome! My wife is going to love this. We have a 4y/o son and an 8 mo old daughter who share everything mentioned above. The pulling of a leg and one volume (loud) is spot on. Haha! Thank you!
Shawn says
The best apologies!!!!
Sandra says
You wrote what I think so often these days. My boys are 3.5 years and 6 months. They love each other so much and our house is never quiet, my schedule is never empty, no day is ever boring. My baby gets sooooo many kisses and cuddles and showered with affection it’s crazy. Yet he still gets dragged around to all those appointments and outings set up for the big one.
And I know for fact that my big one wouldn’t want to trade the little one for more time with me. When I offer a one-on-one “date” he always insists his little brother to come to.
DENISE TOPPING says
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POSTING THIS. I THOUOGHLY ENJOYED READING THIS. ALTHOUGH ALL MY 4 CHILDREN ARE GROWN. IT MADE ME TAKE A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE. I RAISED ALL 4 BOYS ALONE AND THIS WAS ALL SO CUTE AND OH SO VERY TRUE. HOW REFRESHING TO READ SOMETHING SO SWEET AND ENDEARING. I LOVED READING IT VERY MUCH. THANKS AGAIN.
Sarah Pierce says
I just love this! Its not often that I share how hard, and scary it can be having a 2 year old an new born (now almost 4 months). It is definitely survival for this little one! My oldest is quite compulsive and curious, and sometimes that would result in a wack or three :( that I wasn’t fast enough to stop! Thank you for posting this! I shared it and its beautiful!
Mary Carver says
HI Kate, I love this post! I could write my own version for my 8 1/2 yo and 2 1/2 yo!
I actually work for ForEveryMom.com, a faith-based parenting site, and I’d love to share your post with our readers. We’d give full credit to you as author, link back to your post, and include your bio and social media links. What do you think?
Emily Lahm says
Please add me to her blog.