We were in the middle of the store when the tantrum started. This was months ago, and I still remember the incident well, although I do not recall what he was crying/screaming/sobbing about, but it was something life-altering in his little 2 year old brain I’m sure.
I was annoyed and embarrassed as it seemed every head in the store turned our direction. I could practically hear them all thinking “there goes another young mom who can’t even handle her children” and other thoughts about my horrendous parenting skills. Times like these I really wish I had bought this onesie (Affiliate) for my daughter to wear in public.
I could tell this tantrum wasn’t ending any time soon, so we left the store immediately. I picked up the baby, abandoned 0ur cart and fled the building. An older woman opened the door to leave immediately after we did. She looked over at us for a moment and I cringed a little inside, ready for her to spout words of disapproval at me or my children.
Instead she looked me in the eye with a smile and said “He’s such a little love, they both are…” and then walked away.
I can’t begin to tell you how beautiful those words were to me that day, and even now. She came to me in a moment when I had truly forgotten that my son is a “little love”. I couldn’t see past the obnoxious amount of tears to remember that, he’s not trying to cause trouble, he’s just struggling right now.
I loved that the kind woman was willing to point it out to me. Not in judgment, or reprimand, just a simple statement, a beautiful reminder of the sweetness of my children.
Our kiddos are little loves, even when they throw tantrums and even when they’re wild. They are beautiful, and they are learning. I’m so thankful for that woman on my hard day, because she reminded me of the type of mama that I want to be; patient and kind in the midst of tantrums and the tumultuous toddler years. She could have said a lot of things, we had inconvenienced her shopping trip and were in her way as she tried to exit the store. But she chose to speak words of love to me and my children. Something I was struggling to do myself. But she gave me hope, and that made all the difference in our day.
So maybe it’s been a long day, or a long week (or month? or year…) but what is one thing that your child does that makes your heart melt? One thing that they’ve done to remind you what Little Loves they are? Share in the comments so we can enjoy the stories together!
For tips on dealing with tantrums check out this post to hear something I figured out about preventing tantrums, shortly after this incident in the grocery store!
Yep, that made me cry. :) It was a hard day here with my oldest and I needed to hear that.
Oh man! They need to have one of those sweet ladies in every store for sure!! So so sweet!!!! <3
Khristin Z says
I hate it when I yell or am short with my kids. It’s something that I am working on. But one day I was speaking harshly to my son and he looked at me (2 years old) and said “That’s not nice talking to me. ” We talk about using kind words and speaking in a nice way and not being demanding with others and he reminded me that I was doing what I told him not to! That was a moment of parenting turn around for me! I should be treating them how I expect them to treat others. My sweet little love reminded me gently of the lessons I was teaching to him.
Ashley @ 3 Little Greenwoods says
Now that my 3 are getting a little older I think I’m going to strive to be that Little Old Lady. All mamas need to hear that their children are “loves” and that they are doing a great job.
I remember recently what my 3 year old granddaughter had said. She was down a slid, look over at me a said “I love you Gamma!” No prompting just straight for her pure heart. I love her so much ♡!
My kids range in age. My oldest just left for college and I am really sad about that. My youngest came over, looked me in the eyes and said, “She’ll be back Mommy,” and gave me a kiss. He showed me what it’s all about.
thank you for writing this, I really needed to read it today!
Debbie Duffy says
beautiful , not everyone knows what your going through or how to handle it…… God bless you and your little angels and angel that comforted you ♥
Bernice Vanover says
I wait till after a nap. Feed them lunch and tell them that I have no money for toys or anything extra. I have snacks and drinks available and have never had any problems.
My two boys are now 19 and 20. Looking back, I saw my situation when my kids were little. This story encourages me to be a little more patient each day as I still have a hard time controlling my anger whenever my patience is put to the test. I picked up my diary yesterday..written in 2004..yes, I wrote a diary :) And I happened to come across one about when my husband and I had a massive argument .. he was scolding our then 9-yr old older son because of an unfinished homework but his temper flared up so much that I was also on the receiving end of his anger, which resulted in us having a screaming match. Our kids witnessed the whole thing. Then by end of night, our 9 year old said to me, which touched me so much and brought me down to tears: “Mum, you know we have heart. We should forgive and love. Heart is also for us to talk to God.” Children are our precious love, given to us for a great purpose in life.
“He’s such a little love” and departed the store with her two bottles of wine, 1 she opened in the car.
When my son was 18 months old my friend and I had gone to a nice restaurant for dinner and of course my son went with us. He started getting sleepy while we were because he hadn’t had a nap that day. He wouldn’t listen, he was throwing food on the floor, and nothing I could do seemed to be calming him down so we decided to leave. I took him into the bathroom to change his diaper before we headed home and as soon as I laid him on the changing station he started screaming. I tried to play with, talking to him, sing to him, anything to calm him down but nothing was working. I was so embarrassed. I was so worried about what people were thinking and in that moment I felt so small. I was literally all most in tears trying to get my uncooperative child changed and cleaned up so we could get out of there. A woman walked into the bathroom and looked at me. I instantly felt like she was going to say something about all the noise my child was making and how it was disturbing her. Instead she smiled as she walked by us. It was a genuine smile not one of those fake, awkward smiles. It gave a little relief. After she had washed her hands she walked over to us. She said Hi to the baby and told me how sweet he was. She must have seen the tears in my eyes and hopelessness in my face because she before she walked out she looked back at me and said “Don’t worry honey, we’ve all been in that place. You’re doing a great job.” After she walked out I started to cry but not because of my screaming child. I cried because in that moment I felt comfort. It made me realize that I wasn’t the only mom that had at some point had a child that was fussy in a store or a restaurant. It was comforting to know that people aren’t looking down on me because I’m a young mother. I had my son two months after I turned 18 and all the hate out there for teen mom’s really gets into my head sometimes. But in that moment I felt like I was going to be ok. I didn’t feel like I was failing as a parent like I normally would (even if only briefly) in a situation like that. I don’t know who that woman was and I’ve never seen her again but she made a huge impact on me that day. I still hear her words every time my son starts to get fussy in public. I hope some day I can bless someone else with the comfort that she blessed upon me.
Just the other day, I was exhausted, frustrated and tired so everything was just getting to me. I sat on my bed to take a breather and i believe my 4 year old son new somethibg was wrong because he came upto me, placed his hands on my face and said ” you so beautiful my mum” , straight away my heart melted and I dropped everything that was sitting on my shoulders. Our children maybe some of the reasons we get frustrated but they are always the ones that make us melt.
My little girl is my world but her bad days are terrible. But at the end of every bad day she tells me she loves me and is sorry that she was bad. She tells me all the time i am her best person and her best mummy. She is so sweet xx
Yashmitha Padayachee says
come on, now im crying too…. Im also so quick to disprove of my kids behavior, yet offer support to other mums!!! thanks for this
This lady was right on target! We need more understanding of our children. Recently I was very disturbed by comments posted by Christian ( they say they are) folks I know after watching a video clip which appeared to be a spoiled child. Most all comments was to whip with a belt. Nonsense, violence breeds violence. After a few years helping with an AUTISIC grandchild, my eyes have truely become opened. Things are not as always as they seem.
Something very similar happened to me. I had my two girls with me. One was just a baby and my oldest was 3. She was mad because she had to share a leg hole in the cart with her little sister. So when I took her out of the cart, she threw herself on the floor and started to scream. So I left my cart with spinach in it, picked her and the baby up and walked out of the store. As I was putting them in the van, a lady drove by, rolled down the window and said “Bless your heart” and drove away . I really needed that.
My son is 2 also my fiancée and I were in the store him our son one day. And he was having a tantrum about like you discribed. I was making a game of it with him and making it fun for us all. When his dad came around the Isle he said he heard a guy in the next Isle say what a brat. I wanted to find this guy and inform him that my son maybe having a fit cause he is tired, but I also wanted to tell him atleast my son is young and has a reason to be this way, but what was his excuse. Lol luckily the gentleman was gone I guess he knew better than to say it where I could see him because I did voice my opinion out loud to inform everyone that atleast I was enjoying my child and wasn’t beating him like they probably think I should have. Gotta love kids they tell the truth and I have learned to do the same.
I had been having one of “Those” days everything and everyone seemed to be falling apart at the seams.
I was down in the basement trying to finish up one of the many stinking loads of laundry and I heard screaming from the kitchen. I couldn’t quite place the need but I recognized the tone, you know the one… “Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaama!” after about four such rapid fire yells, I tripped myself over baskets, soaps and scattered odds and ends to stumble my way up the stairs and investigate the cause of this bellowing need.
As I reached the top of the stairs I nearly tumbled over my three year old son who had been scream searching the house for me, screeching to a halt I looked down at his bitty blond head and began to reprimand.” Jeriah, you cannot just scre….”
“Dere you are Momma! I missed you so much! He said this while throwing his chubby arms around my knees and burying his beaming cheeks into the folds of my jeans,
I needa tewl you, (He looks up into my eyes, his baby blues are shining at me, holding all the warmth and power of the sunshine itself right now) I Apprec -u-ate you SO MUCH!!
They really do make the worst days (though they often help cause said days) completely worth it…