Have you seen the viral national news story about a restaurant owner in Maine who screamed in the face of a toddler for whining?
The internet is doing it’s thing and it’s going everywhere right now. The parents of the toddler finally shared their side, and it’s clear that the restaurant owner left quite a bit out of her own tale.
I’m just amazed by this entire thing.
There are so many people supporting the restaurant owner for “calling out” these “bad” parents. . .
But let’s be real a minute. Calling a child “it” and yelling in her face is never an okay option. I don’t care if these are the worst parents in the history of parenting (which, it is clear they are not) it’s not your job to yell at a child.
If she was being disruptive (as kids often are), they you quietly talk it over with the parents. Give them some options, offer to box up their meal, maybe even bring a whisk or something from the kitchen for the child to play with. Not scream at their baby. Not ever.
Sure, the mom probably should’ve had snacks or a toy in her purse to entertain her child or give her a snack while waiting, but I think we’ve all been there. You’re on vacation out of snacks and the toys you normally keep in your purse have long since stopped being entertaining.
I’ll be honest, as a mom of two toddlers, I will be the first to say that they sometimes scream in public. That’s a thing that happens because they are kids, unpredictable and still figuring out how to handle their emotions.
I know that some people think that we should hide our children indoors until they have achieved the ability to be utterly silent, but that’s just not realistic. How can kids learn to behave if they are never given the opportunity to do so? How do they learn about being in public if we hide them away?
When did children become so offensive anyway? As if every coo and cry must be hidden from the public eye. Obviously there are places that children don’t belong and for the most part people don’t take them there. You won’t catch me and my kids at an adult movie or a fancy restaurant, but a diner on a Saturday morning, yeah you might see us there. You also might hear a whimper or two from my baby just as I am prepared to hear some from yours.
That’s just life with children.
If my kids are cranky and can’t be consoled, I walk them outside, that’s my job as a mama and I do it. But sometimes it’s easier and quieter to deal with the tantrum right there where we are. A lot of the time uprooting them from their seat will cause much more of a scene then just fixing the problem at our table. So we do it and it’s no big deal.
I’m really not sure how I would react if a restaurant owner, or any one else, screamed in the face of my kid…but I have a feeling I wouldn’t be as gracious as these parents are being.
What do you think of this story? How would you handle it if a restaurant owner did this to your kid?
Do you have a kid that sometimes throws tantrums? The post linked below might help if you do, it was a GAME CHANGER with my toddlers!!!
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Ashley Whisenant says
Yes, thank you for this! I do not agree with letting a child scream for 40 minutes, but it is never OK to call a child a “demon” and scream in their face. I was disgusted reading some of the comments on one of the articles about it yesterday. So many people were saying you should never take those “brats (or insert other inappropriate name)” out in public. So many demeaning comments about toddlers and children. It is as if there is a culture of people who don’t even acknowledge that toddlers are humans too. I don’t always know when my 18 month old will have a meltdown, but if he does then my husband and I take turns eating and walking around with him. He will never learn to compose himself if we don’t take him out and experience different settings. It was really eye opening how much hatred there is towards innocent children.
krista says
I totally agree. Kids are kids, and its the adults job to address the other adults if the behavior is disruptive! Or to just accept that the child is just being a kid and will quiet down eventually!
Lauren says
This is a great perspective on parents, children and those who exist around children (which is to say – everyone). I didn’t even read the article about the restaurant owner as I’ve known for a long time that I have very little patience for people who don’t like children. Choosing to not have or not enjoy children is a personal choice – but it’s everyone’s job on the planet to nurture and care for children everywhere. If you are truly not capable of this, you must remove yourself from the child – not the other way around. YOU are the problem – not the kid. Even when the child is misbehaving and the parents don’t know what to do or are handling it differently that you would. The bottom line is that this restaurant owner felt justified in her intentions to be rude and hurtful – this young, innocent child – though noisy- had no such vile intentions. Thanks for standing up for the most up standing section of our society: our children.
Kay S says
Thank you! I’ve honestly been ashamed to know this happened in my home state. It’s certainly not an experience I’ve ever had though, thankfully. I keep wondering other perspectives (like from an unbiased restaurant patron who happened to be there and witness the whole thing) but ultimately, even if the parents were full out neglectful all the time, that isn’t the child’s fault and you do not call a toddler a demon (among other things she called her) for crying! And definitely do NOT yell in a toddler’s face like that. Just no.
Wendy-Lee says
The restaurant owner responded inappropriately, but the fault of the whole situation was the parents’. A little girl screaming for 40 minutes is not only “cranky”, she’s throwing a tantrum or used to getting her own way. I raised 3 children, 2 of whom were colicky, strong willed, spirited and loud, but I would not have allowed them to carry on like that for 40 minutes in any public place. That is just rude and disrespectful to the other patrons in the restaurant, who are not obliged to pay to listen to that! The child should have been removed from the restaurant …. fair for the parents? No, they might have missed out on a nice meal, but sometimes being a parent requires something more than lazy parenting.
Kate says
I’m sorry I have 4 kids and while I agree that I would be pissed if someone yelled at my kids, I am also smart enough to have the common sense to not let them cry for 40 minutes in a public restaurant. Heck, the crying probably wouldn’t have lasted 2 minutes. You as a PARENT should have a common sense to walk out of a public place and not disturb the Peace with your crying child. It annoys me why would I subject other ppl through that.
Nicole says
I don’t agree with this author at all, this incident is completely the parents fault. Remove your screaming child from the the restaurant, period, end of story right there. If they had been respectful enough to do that, this situation would have never escalated to what is it! And I’m sorry but the author herself said she sometimes deals with her toddlers tantrums at the table?!? Nope! I don’t really care what’s easier for you as a mom, please remove your screaming child from everyone else’s earshot. Not ‘every cry and coo’ has to be hidden from the public eye but two minutes of crying is completely different then 40 minutes of screaming.