When Little Man was about 18 months old he hit the tantrums stage and he hit it hard. There were literally days when I would tear up a little when I heard him waking up in the morning because I was already dreading what was to come. I was pregnant at the time and let’s just say those were some miserable months!
Thankfully, we got past the tantrums just before the Princess was born and he’s been doing pretty well adjusting to the new baby and such. He turned two and I was still wondering what the hype about the “terrible” twos was all about. We had our rough days of course, but nothing too bad and even the bad days didn’t come close to the craziness we went thru at 18 months.
And then March 2013 happened. To his credit, my boy was sick for part of the time and he’s getting all 4 of his 2-year-old molars at the same time…in spite of all of that (or maybe because of it) we’re back to tantrums. Back to screeching and crying. Back to throwing himself backwards on the ground in semi-random protests.
If you are looking for me, I’m the mom in Target with the adorable 2 year old that seems to be practicing for a circus act or more likely, he’s screaming as if I’ve been torturing him on isle 7. Yep, I’ve become that mom.
I will say this…round 2 is not quite as bad as round 1. Maybe I’m just numb to it now, or maybe I’ve actually learned not to take the tantrums personally and how to calm him down (most of the time) by remaining calm myself and not giving in to protest-tantrums. Maybe it seems easier because I’m no longer worried that I’m not parenting well because my son throws fits. Maybe God is just being gracious and merciful to me and giving me peace in the midst of the chaotic toddler years. Most likely, it’s all of those things put together.
If you think about it, say a prayer for me. Some days I find it more difficult than others to be the patient and loving mommy that I strive to be. It may not be as challenging this time but it’s still exhausting.
Do you have any tips for making it through the tantrum year(s)? How long did the stage(s) last for you kids? PLEASE tell me it will be ending soon?
Erica says
My son is 2 and a half. We never really left the tantrum stage. Although, now that he is more verbal and can process thoughts, I can reason with him more. That doesn’t mean he didn’t hit me and throw his toys at me last night. (time outs work) I put him in his bed and say “you can not hit”. I leave him in there until he stops screaming, anywhere from 2-20 minutes. Then when I go back in, he usually is ready to say that he is sorry and I explain that I understand that he is mad because of this and that, but he cant not throw toys, hit people or what ever he did because he is upset. If he would like to tell me what he wants instead of throwing a fit he will be more likely to get what he wants. I always ask “do you understand?” he says “yes” then we go and play.
At dinner he started crying because he didn’t have teddy grams. I asked him why he was crying. I told him he didn’t need to cry about it, if he would just politely ask for some more I would be glad to give him some. He looked at me like that would be a new concept, but he stopped crying and asked. It’s all about learning.
Erica
Carrie says
Praying for you!
Both of my sons can talk quite well now, although one of them still resorts to “baby talk” frequently. But when tantrums are being thrown, I calmly tell him to speak like a big boy. I let him know I can’t understand him when he talks like that. Once he calms down and explains what is bothering him it can often be a very simple solution.
I think I’ve seen you mention this before on your blog but I’ve also noticed that this son also does so much better with his attitude when he gets regular one-on-one mommy time. So I work to make that happen each day. As I’ve sought to do this each day, I’ve started to see how his personality is different from the rest of us…and how precious he is. It’s such a delight to be his mommy!
kellianne says
my son just turned 2 a month ago and it seems the day of his birthday he woke up ready to throw tantrums! he is fine one minute and the next he is hitting his head on the wall in protest of throwin himself on the ground for no apparent reason. I laughed at the so called terrible two myth before…now not so much!! but at t end of the day he can be the sweetest little guy and it makes it hard to stay mad for too long…gotta love them :)