As a new mom, I was very strict about bedtime routines. They were short, sweet and to the point. I did NOT want to be one of those parents that had to spend an hour in the kid’s rooms to get them to sleep.
We’ve successfully had a quick bedtime routine for almost ten years of parenting now.
And then this year happened.
Our particular flavor of child-traumas came in the form of:
- Our house flooding in Tropical Storm Imelda
- Moving into Grandparents house
- Abruptly moving out of Grandparents house to be able to social distance
- School being canceled
- 2+ months of sheltering in place
All of those situations led to our bedtime routine completely flying out the window. Obviously.
Not as obviously, I really struggled with it at first. Bedtime routine has been a constant for us since the kids were tiny, and I didn’t want to throw it out the window and never get it back.
For the last 3 months, I’ve had to let go of my personal hopes for bedtime, and embrace something new.
Lots of cuddles at bedtime.
New books about not being scared.
Getting up a few times a night to bring comfort after a nightmare.
Long conversations with the 9 year old about whatever is on his mind before he goes to sleep.
Bedtime used to take five minutes a night, and now it takes 30-90 minutes. But we’re learning to embrace it.
As a parent, I often start with what I think is best, but usually whatever I thought was best, morphs into what is actually best for the kids.
And right now, laying with my daughter until she falls asleep is best for her.
Talking to my son about marvel plot lines, the latest book we’re reading together or whatever else is on his mind, is best for him.
Parenting is so often about letting go, and our bedtime routine is just another in a long string of things that I’ve had to let go of, because my kids needed something different than I thought they did.
What about you? Are things changing at your house because of this crazy situation? I’d love to hear how you’re handling things.
Linda Johnston says
When your kids are 20 and 21, you just have to be flexible! Our general rule is one meal a day together and 2 nights of family activity, game or movie usually. Parallel living is working.. We are in the at risk category so they do all our errands. Enjoy your days together.
Paula says
That is so neat to hear that you’re still having family games & movies when they’re adults. I hope that our family is this way too in another decade! :)
Wendy says
Many of our routines have been shaken up, but sometimes, when things are shaken up, you realize that maybe there’s a better way than what you’ve been doing. That being said, I’m here on the right day–because I haven’t been the most flexible today! Thanks for the reminder!
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Yes! Sometimes the kids needs pave the way to a better path anyway. It’s interesting how quickly things can change, and even become something unexpectedly better!
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I agree that routines are an evolving process that may need to adjust and change as the children grow. Now my kids are teens and I miss the days when they used to want me to read them bedtime stories. But at the time, I remember thinking, no not another one!
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Okay, bedtime routines crumbling? Sounds disastrously familiar! Suddenly, a stable life becomes a chaotic jumble, right? Childhood disruptions, they leave a mark, don’t they? Remember that time when a massive power outage hit during my final exams? Everything went haywire, schedules vanished. My concentration took a nosedive! Honestly, coping felt impossible; sleeping felt even harder! Trying to re-establish normalcy after felt like climbing a slippery slope, but at least I could always turn to papa’s games to unwind.
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