I am currently pregnant with our second baby. and I am absolutely thrilled and excited! I knew in my heart it was time to grow our family a bit more, before we even knew I was pregnant, so when we found out I was beyond thrilled. . .
But I know this is not always the case. Not all mama’s are overjoyed when they get the news that they are pregnant. Some are terrified. Some are not happy. I imagine, angry, frightened and scared are first reactions for many mamas.
And, I think that’s okay. ;)
When my son was only 4 or 5 months old I started having pregnancy symptoms. I’m still not really sure what was going on with my body, but I had literally every symptom in the book and then some. And I was TERRIFIED. I tried to deny it, I tried to avoid it because I was NOT ready for another baby. then of course I felt guilty for not being thrilled. If God was blessing the world with new life, how dare I experience any emotion but pure joy right?
Long story short, I ended up not being pregnant. I got the results back from the dr. the day after I had come to terms with being pregnant again, and was able to thank God for new life, even through my fear of having two so close together. Turned out that I was all worked up “for nothing”… but, thinking back, maybe it wasn’t for nothing after all.
It is hard for moms to confess that they weren’t thrilled when they first discovered they were pregnant. But the truth is, it doesn’t make you any less of a mother. Just because your baby might have been unexpected, does not mean God has not already begun preparing you to be an amazing mama. And no, your baby won’t be scarred for life just because your first reaction to the positive test wasn’t squeals of joy! ;)
The truth is having a baby is a huge thing. There are so many changes coming your way and it can be very intimidating, and it can take a lot of time to get used to the idea (good thing you have 9 months!). I think the important thing is to remember that God is in control, and spend a lot of time praying and asking for His help and wisdom as you embark on the new journey of motherhood. Seeking help and advice from other seasoned mama’s is always a good place to start too. Don’t be afraid to be honest about your feelings, chances are those mama’s have been there too!
*I know for some, motherhood may not be a good option right now. You may be in high school still or have any number of other issues in your life that make you say, “I CANNOT have a baby right now.” If that is the case, I encourage you (again) to pray, and seek God’s wisdom, thank him for the new life, and ask for His guidance in seeking a good adoptive family to raise the baby. If you don’t know how to get started in the adoption process I would encourage you to find a local church and talk to a leader there about your situation and ask them for help!
Click on the image below to read more posts in this series, including the introduction post:
Kate @ Teaching What Is Good says
I’m with you in that every time I was pregnant (all 9) I was THRILLED! I loved being pregnant: the nausea (9 months of it), the swollen limbs, the everyone thinking I was delivering twins any day starting at 7 months…all of it.
But I had a dear friend who was very distraught in being pregnant with her 7th (and last) baby. It took her until she was 8 months along before she could rejoice. But God uses this in our lives to stretch us and to push us into living the surrendered life in joy and according to HIS will.
You are so right that being honest (without being disrespectful to God) is where we start. God will work in our hearts from there.
Thanks so much for sharing this very encouraging post on Loving Our Children today!
I definitely wasn’t thrilled at the surprise of being pregnant,I was a young mama too, but it grew on me and God did prepare me those 9 months to become a mother. He’s still preparing me for each new challenge that mothering presents.
Blog hopped over from Loving Our Children! It’s nice to ‘meet’ you, I joined your blog too :)
The first time I was pregnant, I miscarried. My husband and I hadn’t planned on a baby at that time, and can I tell you I was relieved? And in a heartbeat I felt horribly guilty. And then simply sad at the loss of the life I wouldn’t get to know. The second time was an accident too :) but a happy one for me. And now we are looking forward to the possibility of adding to our little family as well…
“Don’t be afraid to be honest about your feelings, chances are those mama’s have been there too!”
This is so important. I think we often feel like we are suppose to be happy and excited to be mamas all the time and are afraid to admit that it isn’t always that way. And I’ve found that honesty deepens friendships and allows other people to find freedom in honesty as well. Thanks for sharing this today.
Visiting from Teaching What is Good :)
Emily, I am so sorry for your loss.. .though I have not experienced a miscarriage, I understand when you say you were relieved and then felt guilty. sending hugs your way <3 I'm glad that God has blessed you with more children. they really are such blessings, but I admire you a LOT for your honesty! You will be able to help so many other young women walking a similar path and point them to God through your honesty!!! thanks so much for sharing!!!
Melissa B. says
Our baby was very much a wanted baby but pregnancy was really hard for me. I was not thrilled to be pregnant simply because I was suffering from prenatal (or sometimes it’s referred to also as perinatal) depression. And despite being deeply in love with the son inside me and wanting him badly, I was still depressed. I was crying, every day almost, sometimes for hours so badly I could not stop crying and could not function and was having near panic attacks. When I finally had him it was such a relief because it was like this cloud over my life had been lifted. I just wanted to share my experiences because you can love your baby but still have a hard time with pregnancy.