I feel like the Pinterest culture of epic birthday parties and crafty-everything is drawing to a close. Now we just want real, not extravagant.
The reality is, I may plan an epic birthday party once, but then the rest of them are going to be spent at the park with some friends or at the beach with family. Nothing extraordinary, just a special kind of ordinary.
The wonderful thing is, the kids don’t really care either way. We can do a fun little daisy handprint craft, or we can just go crazy with finger paints on a piece of paper. Most of the time he prefers the crazy free-painting to the structure anyway. It might not be blog-post-worthy, but every moment with my children doesn’t need to be.
There are aspects of my life you will never see here. Every giggle does not need to be recorded, every craft doesn’t deserve it’s own blog post. The parts of our daily lives that are the most special, would never go viral on Pinterest. Instead, they make my children’s hearts glow with happiness and that’s worth more than the craft that got viewed ten thousand times.
Life is not a Pinterest project. It’s a love project.
How can I show my children how dearly they are loved and cherished by their mom and dad. I fall short every day. Frankly, sometimes it’s easier to post a delicious recipe or game night ideas for kids, than it is to live in the moment with my kiddos.
We I have to remember what is most important. I want my children to view my face, my eyes, on theirs more than anything. I type this as they are sleeping, reminding myself that when they awake I need to turn this off. Turn away from the computer, because in 16 years when my children are growing out of our house, I don’t want to have my Pinterest boards full of snazzy projects to look back on with walls empty of imperfect, blurry family photos because we couldn’t quite capture one where we weren’t giggling.
I want to have those smudges on the walls from crayon I could never quite wash out.
I want to have the rocking chair that is all but worn out from hours of rocking and reading books together.
I want to have tired knees from crawling around with them, and sore cheeks from laughing together.
Most importantly, I want to have a relationship with my kids that stretches far past college or wherever their lives may take them when they leave here. I don’t want Pinterest memories, I want the kind that can’t be written about or photographed. The ones that live in the heart forever, even if there’s nothing in hand to show.
Snazzy parties are fun, and I love a good craft, but we must remember to do what they love, even when it’s not blog worthy or nearly as epic as the one pinned to my “do this someday” board.
Hugs are real. Scribbles on paper show the beauty of what my son loves right now. Simply, fabulously ordinary. Give yourself permission to embrace it, instead of trying to live up to other people’s standards of beauty. If your children want an intricate craft project, by all means create one with them, but if they want to be free and get paint in their hair and create something that only a mother could love, let them, do that with them. Allow them to be fabulous in their own way, even if it’s not something to brag about. Embrace the ordinary, for in it, is the freedom to truly enjoy life with our kiddos.
I still LOVE Pinterest. I just don’t like the way I allow myself to feel guilty if I’m not keeping up with the coolest boards and the snazziest crafts. I’ll still pin all the fun things I see, I’m just not going to let myself forget that my kids wants and needs are infinitely more important than how many amazing crafts we do each season or how blog-worthy their birthday parties can be.
How will your embrace the ordinary with your kids today? Do you find social media to be a burden at times, forcing you to try to keep up with the crafty things you see all around you? How do you fight that feeling?
Blair @ The Seasoned Mom says
Hi! I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your blog (and Blogging on the Side). I especially appreciate all of your advice and tips for other bloggers at your Blogging on the Side site. It’s such a great resource!
Stephanie says
I had an illness last year that put me out of commission right as my blog was starting to take off. I’d spent money on hosting and a new dSLR camera and had all these ideas that I was excited to do and blog about, and then… it all ground to a halt. My fiance assured me it was okay, that my health came before anything else, but there was still that feeling of failure.
My point is that it’s hard for bloggers to turn off the computer, to put down the camera, to stop trying to think one step ahead. We’re the workaholics of the Internet. We’re the talked-too-much in class crowd. We’re the “excited to see beads on sale at Hobby Lobby” types. We have focus and determination, and we have to remember that our blogs don’t just need that from us – our families do too.
I don’t see blogging as a burden, but I do feel like I can be too hard on myself when I’m not creating content every week. My daughter is older, so there’s less crafty stuff we do together (and she was never really into crafts anyway) but I freaking love DIY, and it can be hard for me to tear myself away from a project to do something with her. I have a tendency to not finish something if I get pulled away from it.
I think tonight, we’ll eat dinner outside by the fire pit. Nothing Pinterest worthy, just some comfort food and a girl’s night out(side).
Tammy @ creativekkids.com says
I loved this post. I have been spending way too much time on the c omputer lately–so this was a good reminder. The Pinterest part of blogging does not take me away from my kids, just the time it takes.
roxy says
i don’t have kids, but i understand the pressure in regards to keeping up with the trends. i have so many things favorited on pinterest that i’d like to try…no rush. just gotta keep telling myself that. :)
Alli says
Two of my grandsons have birthdays in April. Last year my daughter asked if they had rather have a birthday party or go to the beach for the weekend. They chose the beach! I once asked my daughter, “When do they get too old for birthday parties?” :) I’m all for keeping it casual and I’m a party planner.
Kathleen Kidder says
Paula, you make some soul-searching, valid points here. Our personal lives suffer sometimes because of our involvement online and when the guilt feelings creep in we get bogged down and become unproductive allowing our digital world to fill the needs for immediate gratification. Women, especially, have a great need to communicate and be validated, especially if they are removed from a workplace where there was interaction with many other people. I’m learning to embrace alone time with my family one moment at a time even if the conversation and interaction is not always satisfying. Your post reminds me again of the most important relationships in my life. It took courage to write your very honest feelings. Kudos my friend.
Molly Young says
I love this!! Such a GREAT reminder so all of us busy mommys and bloggers! Thanks for sharing from your heart!
Jenn says
I love this! I enjoy pinning all kinds of stuff on Pinterest, but the truth is that I will never do most of it. I am just not a craft mom. I love to play outside with the kids and get messy. And birthday parties are optional! But love isn’t! :)
LeeAnn G Taylor says
Just found Blogging on the Side this week and then your blog showed up on the Blogelina commentathon list. Yay!
“Life is not a Pinterest project. It’s a love project.”
I love this.
Today I embraced the ordinary by saying “yes” when my 4 yr old asked me to snuggle in her bed with her tonight. This is not a normal part of our nightly routine, so when she asked, I chose to say yes and cherish those sweet snuggles. They will be just a memory before I know it.
It helps to remember that whatever else seems more important that loving on your kids at that particular moment is almost never actually more important!
Enjoyed reading!
Felicia says
Oh how I love this post!! You are so spot on!! I don’t have a Pinterest for this very reason!! I won’t record, everything that I would pin I wouldn’t do and as someone borderline OCD that could prove for failure for me. I love bragging on my kids and my life, the ups and downs, but life is so muh more than the snippets we see online!! Thanks for that fun reminder!!
Elizabeth says
Thank you for the reminder! Starting and maintaining a blog is an awesome task – and I haven’t even been doing it that long. It is a good reminder to know what is essential, what is good, and what is best left behind. Thanks for this! :-)
ANDI says
great title for a post – and all those cute kids! :D
Shashi @ RunninSrilankan says
You are indeed right – those wonderful parts of our lives dont and dont need to make it onto pintrest or blog posts or faebook – they are ours!
Enjoyed your post
Toiia L. Rukuni says
I love this post! A great reminder for us Mothers and Bloggers! I have a challenge of finding time to find balance with writing and it takes place during my children’s bed times and nap times, so I put in most of my work in the morning and late at night. Keep up the good work!
Chrystal @ YUMeating says
I was one of the beta testers for Pinterest long before it was open to the public. At the time it seemed like it was the same 10 pins being posted over and over. It’s been amazing to see how it has grown but it also saddens me that so many seem to take it so literal. As a food photographer/blogger and freelance writer I know how the behind the scenes of those perfect Pinterest photos work. The end result many see are weeks if not months of testing, trial and error. Then, so much goes into make that perfect photo. I would like to think that people know their test of that pin are not likely to turn out the same for that very reason. All social media sites have addiction tendencies, and Pinterest is probably the winner. It’s so easy to get sucked in and look at pretty pictures for hours at a time. I know when I am stressed I specifically go to Pinterest to look at travel photography because often the photos are very peaceful and serene. So, Pinterest isn’t all bad if you use it wisely.
Brittany says
“Life is not a Pinterest project. It’s a love project.”
I LOVE this. It is so true, but hard to remember when we constantly have our iPhones or cameras ready to capture the next Pinnable, quotable, whatever-able moment.
Far better to live IN the moment than to always capture it. I went to Uganda last December and the parts of the trip that are most etched in my mind are the ones where we weren’t allowed to bring cameras–because then I had to focus on what was happening to remember it.
Anyway, thanks for sharing. : )
Betty says
I just love that expression “love project.”
Carie Spence says
I am betting, like me, that half the things people pin, never actually get made. It’s nice that you remind people that it doesn’t have to be perfect, just fun…and together.
Jeryl M. says
Some people seem to need to have their entire lives on-line like if they don’t post it on-line it didn’t happen. I hate that. I mean do we really need to know every last thing about anybody else’s life or do they need to know everything about mine? I don’t think so. There is such as thing as sensory overload. If we put too much information out there, how can anyone see what is truly important?
Amanda Smith says
I love pinterest, and I agree that the real and simple pins are best. And you are so right about kids growing up fast. Mine are 20 and 12. I can hardly believe it. They are both so independent. So definitely enjoy those little one while you can.
Mystiqua says
Oh wow! I have been feeling this very same way…I have recently tugging at whether I was spending too much time on my social media networks and blog so I took a “blog vacay”. I am finding that my marriage and my children are my number 1 priority at this time. Although I love blogging because it helps me as an outlet, but it started to take up a lot of my personal time with my kids. So I have set some priorities and time management requirements for myself. Especially since I am a homeschooling mommy (of six children) so my time is very limited! I loved how you called it “A Love Project”. May you be BLESSED! Thank you so much for this reminder.
April says
I have a very busy Pinterest board, but I have to admit, I think I’ve only done a few of them and all but one were workouts. Blogging does keep me VERY busy, but as I learn to navigate my time, I’m learning to get up a little earlier, stay up a little later and blog around the children’s nap times so I can experience them.
Katie @ Pick Any Two says
While the world of social media is amazing for providing new ideas and connections, it also brings with it a host of comparisons and anxieties. It’s easy to always feel behind or distracted. I admire your commitment to living life to the fullest, with blogging and crafting and pinning coming second.
Tomes Edition says
I agree family time is very important and should be prioritized. I love taking pics because I believe in savoring the moment. I’ll say do what makes you comfortable and don’t allow social media to dictate your pace.
Becka says
Your children are adorable! :) I agree we should spend more family time. I have been thinking that too.
Celine says
I love your post Paula! It’s the simplicity and “realness” of doing things that make life extraordinary. keep creating wonderful memories!
Audrey Ann says
Great post, thanks for sharing! What a great perspective and reminder about what’s most important.
Elizabeth says
Paula,
You have written a very wise post. I have one grown daughter and two teenagers. There are ten years between my first and second born. When I asked my oldest if she remembered certain special things from her younger years, she didn’t. Do you know what she remembered? All of the everyday stuff. All of the snuggling on the couch and reading times. Having fun in the grocery store. It really changed what I have done with my two younger kids.
I love Pinterest, too ;)
Paulina says
Words of wisdom! It is so easy to want to keep up and make life blog worthy but truth is life is messy and it doesn’t benefit anyone to try to portray a perfect life. You are so right about moving in the moment instead of worrying about what others do it what you’ll be able to post or not!
Kristin Sumner says
I love my blog but I love my kids more. My kids and family come first before my blog, before my reviews before facebook and so forth. I love reading these types of inspiring blog posts.
Dawn says
Thank you for your post, I have 4 kids and have really enjoyed Pinterest. I get a lot of ideas for crafts to share with the kids and we have a lot of fun with these projects. I agree that in reality nothing is perfect, but it is fun to be inspired.
Visiting from Commentathon
Tammy says
You get the great mommy award! I loved “Life is not a Pinterest project. It’s a love project” and How are you going to celebrate the ordinary moments today (paraphrase)……such a great approach to life.
I like to ask: What will surprise and delight me today? Opens the day to much more curiosity!
Megan Bailey says
This was such a great reminder that life is made up of more than Pinterest posts. I am mildly addicted to Pinterest, but have made a point to avoid the crafts and perfect decorations posts as much as possible. I usually just look for funny/geeky posts to cheer me up. But, when it becomes another form of keeping up with the Jones’, I will definitely log off.
nannette and the sweetheart says
I love Pinterest but don’t let it rule me :) Love your quote: Life is not a Pinterest project, it’s a love project.
Renew Your Space says
I don’t have kids, but I love pinterest for so many reasons. It’s like a big vision board of the things I want to do and see. It definately doesn’t create pressure on me to be perfect, I love the inspiration it gives me….
Charlotte says
Ironically just found this post on pinterest. Completely agree and have a similar post drafted to publish at some point (when it’s about half as beautifully written as this one ;) x
Ashleigh @ Passion for Life, Love, and Health says
Ahhhh I love this post!!!! I’ve never stopped to think about it like that. I’m not a parent (and never will be), but I think this is a lesson that we can ALL use. I think it boils down to the idea that the interactions we have with loved ones and memories we make are so much more epic when truly cherished…I think regardless of whether the memory is a carefully crafted event or simple spontaneous fun. That’s the lesson I’m taking from this post. Nothing wrong with creating Pinterest-worthy moments, provided we remember the REAL point of those moments: to enjoy time with those we love.
Eschelle Westwood says
such a sweet post but I am NOT cool with crayons on my walls, heck I can barely stand finger smudges everywhere. It is super important to unplug as much as you can and I like to reserve weekends for family, we always eat dinner together at the table as I think that is super important too and evenings after the kids go to sleep is MY time lol. I either use it to paint and be creative or work… mostly work lol
Chuck Taylor says
Thank you for sharing this. As a pastor I have the privilege of helping families through the grieving process over the death of a loved one. While no one likes to think about the death of someone, this actually motivates me. I refuse to live with regret. I often think about what I wish I would have done today if my child were to die tomorrow, then I do that. Unfortunately, unexpected deaths occur and I am not so special that God will not allow me to grow through such an occasion. I love your word pictures of worn-out rocking chairs and knees. I pray that your children live to see that with you. Thank you for using your gifts so well. Blessings.
Louisa says
I can relate to that! Pinterest has a way of consuming a lot of time. Time that should be spent on other things. The technology nowadays makes it so that there is less human contact. Even in your own home sometimes. It’s important to pull out of that and spend quality time together. Thanks for this reminder!
Kirsten Oliphant says
Love this, Paula! Featuring it in this week’s Life of the Party.
Kendra says
My blogging does sometimes keep me from being in the moment but thankfully I realized that a while ago and try to take pictures then enjoy life with my family i say this as a comment on your post a day late and with my son in the bathtub. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Felicia says
I absolutely love this post! I haven’t had children as of yet, but I cannot wait. I could certainly see how blogging could be a hassle–especially with children. You have to find some sort of balance, which I’m experiencing now, but I think I sort of got the hang of it finally, haha.
Cassidy Cruise says
That’s a beautiful truth! My daughter plays soccer and one of the moms made Pintrest-worthy trophies for all the kids. It was such a thoughtful gesture and the kids were excited. One of the kids was playing with it and it broke. The look on the mom’s face who made was the look of devastation. I think sometimes we put a little too much emphasis on the project and not enough emphasis on the smile of the kid behind the project.
Best,
Cassidy
http://tuesdaystantrum.blogspot.com/2015/10/privacy-in-bathroom-haha.html
tery says
Hello,
I get a lot of ideas for crafts to share with the kids and we have a lot of fun with these projects. I agree that in reality nothing is perfect, but it is fun to be inspired.