As moms, we are frequently encouraged to “just enjoy it” or “love every minute” of our days. While I can appreciate the sentiment, (I know they years pass by too fast) I still find the application to be somewhat impossible. Which is why I have stopped trying to enjoy every minute of motherhood.
There are certain aspects of motherhood that I do not enjoy. No matter how hard I’ve tried, I still hate breastfeeding. I will never love changing diapers and, although I’ve learned to understand and tolerate tantrums, I will never enjoy enduring them.
Motherhood is hard. And with it come all sorts of challenges, not all of which can be enjoyed.
Attempting to love every moment leaves me feeling guilty and inadequate, because I just can’t do it.
So I’ve abandoned that endeavor. I no longer try to enjoy every last second of motherhood.
And I’ve started doing something else instead. Because, even though I can’t enjoy every minute, I know that I can find much more joy in my days than I am currently experiencing. I can be a much more joyful mama to my littles, and I can definitely enjoy my days more, even if I can’t enjoy every minute.
I’ve learned to find joy in every day. To search for something beautiful throughout the day, something lovely in my children (even when they are throwing tantrums all day), and to take a moment to thank God for it.
Maybe it’s a simple thing like my son’s smile after a long day of seeing his tears.
Or the peace that settles on our home as every one falls asleep.
Or the moments (be they ever so brief) when I catch my kids playing nicely together.
There is something beautiful in every day, we need only to find it, take a breath and enjoy it.
What beauty have you seen in your life today? What beautiful moments have you had with your children? Share in the comments!
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PS- I wanted to share something that can go a long way in creating beautiful moments with your kids this month. My friend Jamie is running a 7-day activity challenge for kids. If you are all cooped up from the cold, this is the PERFECT opportunity for the kids to get all their wiggles out, and it provides you the opportunity to connect with them, and make it the best. week. ever!!!
Sign up for her (totally free) 7-day activity challenge through my referral link here!
It starts on January 14th… so you need to sign up ASAP so you don’t miss it as you seek to find the hidden, beautiful moments, in your every day life!
Yes I definately agree you simply cannot enjoy every minute of motherhood ( the sibling squabbles get to me every time!) but you definately can enjoy the beauty of “most” of the minutes with your little ones……:-)
Amen and Amen to this!!! I was trapped in the thinking of “If I don’t enjoy every aspect of motherhood. I’m a terrible Momma!” I think this line of thinking comes from so many due to what you say about people always telling you to enjoy every second.. However, I refuse to believe that even they enjoy tantrums and changing diapers. :)
The Blossoming Bump says
I really relate to the feelings of guilt that you mentioned about not feeling the non-stop joy that others seem to experience (not sure if they’re fibbing a bit actually!). I’ve found minute by minute is the only way I can function as a new Mom without getting completely overwhelmed (and with it, also totally deranged at times!).
Jamie @ Coffee With Us 3 says
Thanks for writing this! I feel like so many other moms try to pretend that they truly are loving every minute of motherhood, which can definitely leave those mamas like you and me feeling pretty guilty. I have tried really hard to be transparent as a mom, letting people know that I adore my kids, but that there are times that they make me crazy. And honestly, with little ones (mine are 4, almost 3 and 9 months) I’m just exhausted and overwhelmed on a regular basis. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it’s definitely not constant enjoyment ;)
I love this, we moms need to be better at being honest with each other. Motherhood is hard! It’s not possible to enjoy every minute. If we could admit that to each other we would feel happier ourselves. I just read this book, The Danish Way of Parenting. It has changed my life!! It has given me some new and interesting parenting tools, reframing is one. If we admit parenting is hard but find the positive moments in the everyday, suddenly we have a more positive view. Instead of feeing like we should enjoy all the monents. That sets us up for failure and disappointment
Jennifer Hood says
I’ve learn to slow down take time to love myself along with spending time with my kids such as coloring puzzles dancing singing going to church and letting the laundry go or dishes
Spend time listening to them more and going outside more! You never know what tomorrow holds
Last night was very busy and chaotic. As we were getting ready for bed, brushing teeth, and going potty I noticed a wiggly black thing on the floor. After a closer look I realized it was a baby snake, about 6 inches long. After catching it and examining it in the ziploc bag, our 5 yo daughter decided she liked it and wanted to keep it. Long story short, she agreed to find a home for it in our yard so it could return to its family. As we said goodnight, I was able to say I was proud of her for helping the snake find a home. She had lovingly and gently let it go outside. She was genuinely concerned about the baby snake.
I tell people all the time, I love every minute of being a mom to 8, but not necessarily every second in that minute, LOL ☺
I have 5 littles. 4 have ADHD aswell as watching others children all the time. I do enjoy my time with all these children and yes they can make a mothers day hectic and fun and fill a moms day with excitement and wonder and even moments of joy and its always such lil things too… The cry of a newborn that tells u ur needed, the smiles u get from their achievements, the hugs u get from helping them with their boo boo’s as they scamper off to play again, the joy a kid has when he finally gets the word he’s been trying in the book he enjoys… Not saying its impossible to enjoy every moment but I always have a smile when I’m with my kids and in all honesty they can be a handful but I love them all and as long as their with me my life will never be boring :)